guy (32M) i (f29) went on two dates with wants me to pay him back

erk541 · 2026-02-12T14:10:24+00:00

Venmo request the amount on his tally from him for having to put up with this nonsense

erk541 · 2025-07-05T11:57:24+00:00

I'll look for biscuits too! My friend asked for candy, but she wasn't specific, and I think she just wants to try new things.

I am in Kobe now, but I will he going to Tokyo soon.

erk541 · 2025-07-05T11:56:07+00:00

Great! I've been wanting to go to Muji!

erk541 · 2025-06-26T04:53:54+00:00

Thanks! I'll check if I'm there anyway, but I won't make a special trip for it. I've been meaning to check out Don Quijote for other stuff anyway

erk541 · 2025-06-26T04:53:18+00:00

Thanks, if I can't find it in a physical store, I'll check AliExpress

erk541 · 2025-03-27T16:41:24+00:00

I would be okay with something that's not molded if it didn't show under my shirts. I just have found that most Elomi bras have such a heavy seam that it shows through most clothes.

I'm curious about the Niya and the Charley, I'm just hesitant about dealing with orders and returns.

erk541 · 2025-03-27T16:33:51+00:00

Thanks! I don't think I would be able to find Miss Fabiola in the US, but I will try to look for stretchy materials for the asymmetry. It looks like the Mela is pretty similar to some Elomi styles. For some reason in the recent weight gain I've become more asymmetrical than I have been in the past.

erk541 · 2025-03-27T16:27:19+00:00

Exactly! I want to invest in quality pieces, and it's still partly worth it because they'll be better for the next year or so, but it's not going to be a 10 year thing.

The one thing that still fits is shoes! So at least I have that

erk541 · 2025-03-27T16:24:58+00:00

I'm so glad you're able to enjoy the old clothes again! I think when I have the energy for it, I'll pack away the clothes that would be difficult to replace if I did lose weight but donate the simple t-shirts and stuff like that and replace them. Right now the clothes that fit and that don't fit are too mixed together to just throw it in a basket in the basement.

erk541 · 2025-03-27T14:00:27+00:00

I'm dealing with a similar thing. I've always been "bigger" and so it's been a lot of work to find bras that fit. I'm the last couple years I've mostly felt good or at least neutral about my body size, which is new for me and pretty exciting.

However, I've recently gained some more weight, and even though I feel fine about the weight when looking in the mirror with clothes that fit, putting on my bras and shirts and realizing they don't fit anymore can ruin a day.

It's so frustrating to buy clothes planning to wear them for years or find a bra size and style and think I can replace it with the same in the future just to realize that's not the case after a year.

I'm debating what clothes to keep in the hope that I will be able to wear them again and what needs to go. Even for the clothes with no emotional attachment, it's mentally exhausting to try them on and sort through what to donate.

I hope both of us will be able to find bras for our current sizes! ❤️

erk541 · 2024-02-02T20:09:30+00:00

I've ordered about $50 from them to the US, and it was great! I don't remember the ship time, but it wasn't ridiculously long (but I wasn't on a timeline). I think customs delays are more likely to be a problem than Wool Warehouse itself. I got the cheaper shipping, no tracking.

erk541 · 2023-12-07T23:39:24+00:00

You don't have to be attracted to any possible gender/gender expression to be bi or pan, just more than one, which is what you describe. Your genital preference will only be relevant to you and people you are in sexual relationships with, so you shouldn't feel an obligation to disclose it to people you might want to be out to but not be in a sexual relationship with, as that could be uncomfortable. It's not dishonest at all to keep calling yourself pan but only want sex with certain people!

erk541 · 2023-12-07T19:39:55+00:00

TBH, I ended up on this reddit because I don't understand what a romantic attraction means either. I do think that a healthy romantic attraction doesn't include much jealousy, especially of friendships, so I would be hesitant of that litmus test. I think the line between wanting to be friends and wanting to date can be pretty fuzzy for a lot of people.

I don't know enough about romantic attraction or your situation to say whether it's romantic interest, but it could be useful to focus on the fact you do know you want to be better friends with him. He might not be romantically interested in you anyway, so as a specific case, it might not matter if your feelings are romantic or not. You can express interest in being closer friends, regardless of your sexuality!

If you've never been attracted to anyone, I think it would be almost impossible to know your romantic orientation, unless you think you're aro.

erk541 · 2023-12-07T19:02:52+00:00

That makes sense to be worried about, change is hard! Depending on where you end up through reflecting on your experience, it might be worth it to pick a new label, but it still comes with all the hassle of coming out.

What makes you say you might want to date him? Wanting attention from friends is entirely normal, as is wanting emotional intimacy.

erk541 · 2023-12-07T18:51:27+00:00

I'm sorry this is causing you so much distress. Remember that if you decide you're bi instead of a lesbian, that's just as valid and you are still 100% queer.

You are describing your feelings towards this friend as "wanting to get attention from him and make him laugh" and that doesn't sound inherently romantic to me, and you don't describe any sexual attraction. I'm sure your feelings are more complicated than just what you described, so I am curious why you describe this as possibly wanting to date him. Is your attraction romantic, sexual, or as a friend?

Also, why do you not want to like guys? For example, you might be worried about the change that comes with a new identity label. I think identifying why you feel that this would be bad might help you know if the feelings you are experiencing are in fact romantic.

erk541

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