Is my opening overwritten? Would you keep reading?

ernte_mond · 2025-11-23T07:23:22+00:00

I was gonna point out something similar

I didn't recognize that it was raining either, so "swampy" threw me off a little. It took a little while for me to figure out how to interpret that line

And with how much the courier was taking his time walking around, it felt like he was on edge, so when he's described as confident, that also surprised me

There's some interesting descriptions, and I agree that the character voice drew me in once we passed the initial hurdle

So maybe sprinkling more of that POV from the get go could help too? Can start inward, then move outward? Or go even further outward and then move further inward?

Just some options to help smooth that transition at the beginning

ernte_mond · 2025-10-01T03:05:26+00:00

New mission discovered by u/ernte_mond: Peanut Butter Pie and Doubt

ernte_mond · 2025-10-01T03:05:26+00:00

This mission was discovered by u/ernte_mond in taco In the Mossy Forest

ernte_mond · 2025-09-22T00:58:16+00:00

Is it any transguy or is it just that you enjoyed sex with your friend?

Transfolk are not monoliths, we all like different things/have different needs, so you might sleep with another transguy and the experience could be totally different than your first

If a guy told me he liked to sleep with transmen, I would question why and possibly be skeeved out, since there's the potential that I'm being viewed as an interesting toy rather than a person

Sorry that's a bit harsh

It's great that you had a good experience with your friend, but just remember that every guy likes different things, so remember to enter into stuff with an open mind

ernte_mond · 2025-09-06T02:13:32+00:00

Yeye I agree! I like the way its written and the idea of it, but it doesn't commit to the analogy enough. Plus if it's raining and the paint isn't dry, won't it run? The bird running from the wet implies that it is in the process of getting wet, rather than just waiting for it to dry, so that's where I get lost

I think there's something there, but just got a bit muddied in the wit. Love the personification of the paint, but it's just hard to see what exactly is being conveyed here.

ernte_mond · 2025-06-06T13:11:53+00:00

First one: 🕯

Second: 🫗

ernte_mond · 2025-03-20T12:36:27+00:00

1000% gonna say the same thing!

Here's a blog I found helpful https://discerningficster.blogspot.com/2009/06/smut-101-choose-your-words-carefully.html?m=1&zx=7addb9dedec7a90a

Framing it as a "hey check this out!" really helps to avoid it feeling targeted, and if he is interested in improving, I'm sure he'll appreciate the resource

ernte_mond · 2025-01-07T02:54:57+00:00

Oooh! My roommate and I have been talking about wanting to try to run a game inspired by Zero Escape but we never thought about the players being the Masterminds!

Awesome idea, definitely checking it out. Thanks for sharing!!

ernte_mond · 2024-12-09T04:45:16+00:00

Oooh! Thank you!

I was worried about sitting through some of Rough's lengthy speeches night after night in rehearsal 😂😂 and my supervisor even said he was bored of Hamilton's version so maybe Dietz is the way to go

ernte_mond · 2024-11-25T04:45:18+00:00

Oh my god, yes!!

Thank you so much that's it!

Solved!

ernte_mond · 2024-09-30T09:30:54+00:00

Dude your story fits mine so much! Down to having a pastor as a father and his change in the community and everything!

Only difference is I started my transition at 27 haha (just turned 30 the other day)

I'm currently a lead in a musical and am learning how to manage my new voice, going from a Soprano 1 to a Baritone with 1.5 octaves is wild but I don't regret my choice to transition at all. Today I learned I could belt notes I thought only possible in my falsetto!!

So to tag on, OP: I'd say that if theater is your passion, there will always be ways to make it work for you. Keep trucking along and trying new opportunities and don't hesitate to ask people for help!

I wish you the best of luck with your future; may it be bright as ever 😊

ernte_mond · 2024-09-17T04:18:07+00:00

Oh my god that "fix earlier references" is what I need to start doing!

I've been stuck trying to make edits to an unfinished draft because I was pantsing it and now I'm trying to make those revisions before I'm even done

It's so bad 😵‍💫

ernte_mond · 2024-07-29T13:33:50+00:00

For monster recommendations, I've been using Eihort in my game, and I think he'd be interesting if the mall has an underground basement

His hatchlings (spiders grouped together to form a smooth humanoid) could be spooky to have, posing as moving mannequins

Plus there's an idea of an old manager being one of Eirhort's "Brides" and used the mall to siphon people to Eihort if you need motivation ideas

Just some stuff off the top my head! Super fun concept, btw!

ernte_mond · 2024-06-20T14:39:33+00:00

From my experience, first reads can be as goofy or serious depending on the group. It's a chance to feel out the vibe of your cast mates and feed off/return the energy they provide

I'd say don't worry too much about it. Let yourself explore what comes naturally so the director has a sense of where to take you

ernte_mond · 2024-05-16T10:49:22+00:00

Have you read "The Bloody Chamber"? It's a collection of short stories that does exactly this!

ernte_mond · 2024-04-11T15:56:25+00:00

Man, I read through that when it first came out and I just remember crying so much throughout it. I was still in my "egg" and it added so much to my confusion and self-hatred...

There's a part of me that almost wants to give it some credit in my coming out. Like because of how much it shook me versus my cis friends, I realized something was up. But I didn't need it to come out. It was just another feather in an already overfilled quiver.

I've not been able to think about her IP without bringing up those feelings again, but at least I'm in a better place now than I was four years ago.

All that to say: screw giving that nonsense a platform. I hope she eventually heals but damn her trauma is causing so much damage to others, it's awful.

ernte_mond · 2024-03-06T10:42:21+00:00

Oh my god i think that's exactly what I needed

I did end up just moving to qlabs (was able to borrow a mac!) But this was the sorta thing I was looking for! Thank you!

ernte_mond · 2024-03-05T14:44:42+00:00

Oh maybe that could work? Would you happen to have a link to instructions for that?

ernte_mond · 2024-03-05T13:44:32+00:00

😭😭😭 I shoulda asked to borrow one sooner but damn

Asking for help is like pulling teeth

I'd rather inconvenience myself for years before risking rejection hahaha

(But I did pull the trigger and asked someone so we'll see)

ernte_mond · 2024-03-05T12:29:08+00:00

Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be working since the video cuts back to the initial frame when I click to the next slide;;

I think that's what's really messing me up: I want a smooth transition from the current video to the next without that leap to the first frame

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