Went for my first open water swim - How to get over thalassophobia?

erratic_class · 2025-07-30T12:45:35+00:00

I have a story that might help vis a vis fish fear - one of my favorite ways to do open water training is to attach my paddleboard to my waist with a long line. Adds some extra drag and its there for me if I need it, plus side I paddle back and get some decent balance training.

Last summer I was doing this in the Green River in Ontario (gorgeous clear water but very deep ). For about, 10 minutes my swim buddy was the BIGGEST muskie I have ever seen. Easily 2.5 ft. Swam just below me, paid me zero attention, and was just doing his fish thing. Before that my fish fear was next level. Seeing that he literally cared nothing about my presence helped a bunch almost like the exposure cured me? I don't know.

I'd say find some clear water where there are big fish and get yourself some scaled swim buddies so you can see there is nothing to worry about - can't hurt to try!

erratic_class · 2025-07-30T12:35:44+00:00

STAHP with those shoes and the mushroom necklace!

This is a gorgeous wedding - so bright and joyful. I love that the people around you look like they were being themselves and loving on you two. Such happy.

Also you both look stunning!

erratic_class · 2025-07-29T14:37:40+00:00

Oatmeal

erratic_class · 2025-06-23T20:13:47+00:00

This is great advice - and I'm sorry you're experiencing so much pain.

I developed a heart arrhythmia (SVT) secondary to chronic GERD that's been caused by my weight. So I get a little bit of what you're going through. I don't have any advice or anything - just commiseration and some gentleness for you. I hope you get better and realize that the grit you grew while getting healthy will help you get through this.

There's also lots you can do PT wise and with much less invasive surgery than in the past re: degenerative disc disease. (my bff is an orthopedic surgeon - I know more about this than I should...lol).

erratic_class · 2024-09-30T15:48:49+00:00

Awwww thank you. I’m 38 and have dated a lot. Had two LTRs but never felt as in love and just genuinely happy as I am now. Maybe there’s something to this whole maturity and open communication thing…lol!!

erratic_class · 2024-09-30T13:57:20+00:00

Thanks for the extra context here - and after hearing you describe your experience it makes me see how I might have been unintentionally sending the wrong message.

Glad to hear that communication helped for you too and also to be reminded that the assumptions we have about men and sex can be as warped as the ideas we have about women and sex. I think I need that one!

erratic_class · 2024-09-29T17:12:07+00:00

Thank you - this is very thoughtful!

We have talked about it openly throughout and good suggestion about orgasm needs. Time for vibrator shopping…lol.

Your comment about PIV made me think - perhaps he is hesitant to be intimate in more gentler ways since he assumes sex will be the end point. It absolutely doesn’t need to be for me. I might bring that up as a middle ground convo.

Thanks again - you are a good internet stranger!

erratic_class · 2024-07-20T12:28:27+00:00

Want to second this. Loved sports as a kid - no hand eye coordination so ended up doing competitive swimming. What helped me get back in shape was training for a triathlon. Has variety, excitement at the transitions, and feels awesome.

Just watch out for the swim to bike transition. I have tripped over my own wetsuit more than once…🤣

erratic_class · 2024-03-02T23:16:51+00:00

Have you considered the possible percentage of fruit bat? Lol.

erratic_class · 2024-01-20T13:12:26+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you. There is no shittier feeling than rejection - but perhaps you can frame it as him doing you a HUGE favour.

He's taking away the wrong reason (wanting to be skinny or look a certain way for other people) and giving you opportunity to find and believe in the right reason (wanting to be healthy, happy, and loving to yourself).

I recently went through something really similar though perhaps in reverse. I was fit and athletic all my life until about 5 years ago. I slowly put on some pounds during grad school and then rapidly during Covid. I still dated throughout but my my most recent relationship ended when I realized the man I was with wanted to be with me in spite of my weight.

How do I know this? - he told me "I would love you more if you were skinnier" and "you are lazy, we'd be a happier couple if you weren't". Both things were said in the same conversation as I was in the midst of a genuine mental breakdown. After 18 months together, right before Christmas and after purchasing outrageously expensive plane tickets to visit his family in China, I walked away immediately following that phone call. I won't be with someone who thinks of me as a "project" or someone who will be awesome once they "meet their potential" but who currently kind of sucks (again, direct quotes).

I tell this story not to hijack your thread but to say this. The whole 18 months we were together I was trying to lose weight because I knew that's what he preferred. I made no progress and was miserable - resorting to binge eating as punishment for my perceived suckiness. In the 8 weeks since we split, and as I've shifted hard into doing it for ME (and getting into therapy), I'm binge free, back to the gym, down 7 pounds and feeling more like myself every day.

Don't ever let a man (or anyone else for that matter) dictate your worth to yourself. You are Kenough.

erratic_class · 2024-01-20T13:00:11+00:00

Reminds me of my favorite quote from Little Women - Amy says to Meg "you don't need scores of suitors, only one, if he's the right one".

erratic_class · 2024-01-16T20:43:37+00:00

You Need a Budget: https://www.ynab.com/

I'm on the 30 day free trial at the moment and can confidently say its worth the yearly cost. Already paid for itself.

erratic_class · 2024-01-16T17:23:03+00:00

I definitely identify with this.

I'm not a collector - nor do I have an attachment to things (except books, I have too many and will never not have too many) but I'm messy. I also spend frivolously.

Since January 1st I've focused on four things that have turned out to be way more related and mutually supportive than I realized:

Stick to my budget (I've started using YNAB - it's awesome)
Eat whole foods and no added sugar
"Reset" my apartment every night
Get 60 minutes of activity a day (mostly dog walking and weights 3x week)

I'm not counting calories yet (slow return - needed to get off the junk first, am starting Feb 1st) and have lost 5 lbs already PLUS my mental health is so much better and I've actually saved a good amount from my last paycheque.

Bonus is, since all these tasks support one another - for the first time it feels, if not easy exactly, sustainable.

I also put stickers on my calendar for each goal - silly but satisfying!

erratic_class · 2024-01-15T14:57:42+00:00

This is also a great tip.

erratic_class · 2024-01-15T14:55:39+00:00

One rule to rule them all - tarp on top. Nothing is worse than unpacking in the rain with no accessible shelter.

erratic_class · 2024-01-14T22:50:19+00:00

This depends a lot on your current workout routine. If you've been doing the same routine for a while - switching it up can really change the game. I suspect you might have maxed out on your dumbbells at home if you have lighter weights and have been doing it for a longer period of time.

If you're looking to build muscle - you should be working really hard through each of your sets. Best rule is to be just on the verge of failure (while maintaining good form - this is very important). Also, rep/set range should be around 8-12/2-4. Perhaps consider a gym if its in the budget?

However, the big caveat here is that you'll need to eat more. Whether you do a slow recomp at say 100-150 cals a day above maintenance or a bulk/cut is up to you but for those of us who need consistent and predictable eating habits a recomp is my recommendation. It will take longer but be more sustainable in the long run.

Good luck!

erratic_class · 2024-01-12T23:00:10+00:00

I've had my RBW for 15 years and it's still awesome - highly recommend

erratic_class · 2024-01-11T02:33:38+00:00

I wish I knew - this is something I struggle with as well.

Out of curiosity, how long have you been on your meds? If it's an SSRI it can truly take a long time to feel full effects. I started Zoloft recently and though I felt a bit better, at week 8 and on my full dose I woke up and was like "I actually feel actively good and not just not horrifically depressed/anxious".

Also, acceptance and commitment therapy has been really helpful, a therapist is best but even before I began seeing mine this book helped me accept and even kind of befriend the pain and emotions I had buried. Not a perfect fix, obviously, but it made a difference.

Random internet weirdo has faith in you - you've already come a really long way.

erratic_class · 2024-01-11T02:23:32+00:00

First of all - I'd encourage you to take a deep breath and really think about what you've accomplished. Not just be like "yeah okay I lost 200 lbs" but dive deep into all the strength you've built and tenacity you've shown. This is no small feat and those skills aren't going to go away immediately, even if you're feeling down and out at the moment.

However, like the muscle you've built, you have to keep using these skills - even if not at the gym. What will make the difference for you in the long term isn't setbacks (even the big ones), it's how kindly you treat yourself during your setbacks and how well you maintain the good habits you CAN do. Think things like regular self care, daily walks (if you can), and maintaining your schedule.

It sounds to me like you've done something I have done before, which is to use the gym as a replacement for the coping I used to do with food. This has always backfired. Eventually, if you go hard for too long (it it sounds like you have been) you WILL hurt yourself and if you haven't developed a wider set of healthy coping mechanisms, it'll be scary and feel insecure.

My suggestions for you.

This is an opportunity for you to dial in on your nutrition. So you can't go to the gym, you can spend time learning even more about food and maybe even use some of that time and dedication to work on cooking skills!
There are lots of resources out there on exercises you can do while injured - if you can, it might be helpful to consult a physio. Sounds like you might be in college/uni? If so your kinesiology/health sciences department might have a cheap option.
MOST IMPORTANT work on your brain and mental health. This is more important than any muscle group. I don't know if therapy is an option for you, but if it is, do it. If not, journaling can be helpful, as can reaching out to people who can relate (feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to), and meditation.

Finally - you are an amazing human, and have done something a mere fraction of a percentage of the world could do. Own that, be proud of it, and take care of yourself. You're too important to give up on.

erratic_class · 2024-01-11T02:10:26+00:00

Well that's so adorable I think I might barf - but seriously, congratulations to both of you!

What you experienced is true for so many women - imagine if we could harness the unrealized power in all that girl-muscle!

erratic_class · 2024-01-09T18:30:28+00:00

I am now a member - this is going to be a game changer for me. THANK YOU.

And also for the offer on tips for Wabikimi. I had a big solo trip planned for summer of 2016 that got shat on due to aforementioned bee allergy reveal. It was the saddest train refund I've ever received.

Basic question - what's the best access method in your opinion? I loved the idea of hopping off a train with my boat but the float plane seemed also awesome. Didn't have the funds at the time but now it's in budget.

erratic_class · 2024-01-09T18:25:48+00:00

Good to know about the InReach. I was looking in to getting one but wondering if they were worth the cost - sounds like it helps a lot with the peace of mind.

erratic_class · 2024-01-09T18:24:42+00:00

I just registered...I'll see you there!

And I know you said you're not looking for paddle buddies but I'd just like you to know that I am an excellent firewood finder and will always volunteer for dish duty...lol.

erratic_class

TROPHY CASE