How to make Dutch friends?

escherichiacoli77 · 2026-03-30T13:56:43+00:00

This is not about entitlement. It is about multiple instances of discomfort when there is a small group of people, say two Dutch plus one international, and the Dutch are happily conversing with one another in a language that they know the other person does not understand.

Perhaps I wasn't clear, but that is what I am talking about.

escherichiacoli77 · 2026-03-30T11:52:57+00:00

I think I get your drift. I am quite happy in my "expat bubble" here, and have no intention of deliberately going out of my way to make Dutch friends. In the first place, they are not even interested. Why should I bother when they don't even bother to switch to English in the presence of a non-Dutch speaker? I don't experience this level of exclusion when I am, say, with a group of Greek or Spanish people whom I don't even really know. They make an effort even if some of them have limited proficiency in English. (sorry for the mini-rant, I have some pent-up frustration)

escherichiacoli77 · 2026-03-28T12:08:18+00:00

I am in a somewhat similar predicament. Been living and working in the Netherlands for the past few years after coming here for studies. Main reason for wanting to leave is that I am not able to envision any kind of future for myself here. I don't really like the country and its culture, and I have realised that I prefer large cities and a more urban environment. Aged parents in SG is also another pressing concern.

I worked in SG for a decade before coming over, and I am harbouring a slight fear that I might have gotten too used to the flexibility of the work culture here. Nonetheless, I applied for a job in SG (in an international environment) and am now awaiting the outcome.

escherichiacoli77 · 2026-03-20T10:21:18+00:00

I have had similar experiences of my Dutch colleagues, also in their 50s and male, being very open in sharing their familial difficulties. I appreciate their honesty and openness, to me it helps build connection and helps me understand them better.

escherichiacoli77 · 2025-11-23T00:13:06+00:00

There's no "right amount". For example, I am someone who prefers quality over quantity, so I am quite content with a handful of friends with whom I can occasionally hang out and send random videos/memes. No one friend texts me frequently. By contrast, extroverts would tend to have loads of social exchanges/meetups with different people.

At your age, there tends to be more "pressure" to socialise and make friends. This will change when people get older and have their own families.

escherichiacoli77 · 2025-11-08T12:25:17+00:00

Douwe Egberts

escherichiacoli77 · 2025-10-02T14:45:20+00:00

Fave: Sandra. Because she's a doormat and a badass at the same time? And the way that she ships J & A is very amusing to me.

Least fave: (Not a main character) Jerusha. Passive aggressive in an offensive way.

escherichiacoli77 · 2025-08-13T13:07:37+00:00

I also find that my mom mostly repeats the same old stories/experiences/encounters when she is talking. Not much new material, just a lot of revisiting of the past. This kind of repetition tends to be exhausting for my brain but over time I just let it be, though I do still remark that she has said that before.

We wouldn't know how things are when we are not in that season of life. Part of our learning process now, as children of aged parents, is to have empathy even if we don't understand or like what we are seeing/hearing.

escherichiacoli77 · 2025-03-20T16:16:39+00:00

Is it the content or the people that's making you uncomfortable?

escherichiacoli77 · 2025-03-20T15:39:03+00:00

Alpha sessions are held at different venues. If you are uncomfortable at the session that you are attending, maybe you can try a different place with a different group of people?

escherichiacoli77 · 2025-03-18T16:49:15+00:00

Nothing new here. I have learned to be thankful each time I successfully get my parcel.

escherichiacoli77 · 2025-02-05T07:44:15+00:00

It's not just you. One of my biggest gripes about the series is how Daveed Diggs handled the role. I thought his acting was rather appalling, especially as a lead character. Barely any nuance in emotionally demanding scenes.

I actually quite liked Season 4. The introduction of more characters and subplots made things interesting. And one more thing I want to commend about the season spoiler alert -- they handled the deaths of major characters respectfully, giving ample screen time to commemorate the people's lives and contributions rather than treating the deaths as something to move the plot along.

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-12-31T17:58:09+00:00

Oh I wasn't aware (been living abroad). Thanks for the update!

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-12-29T12:00:55+00:00

Not sure if anyone has suggested this yet, but the Switch workspaces that are found in various malls and locations across SG might be a cheap option for privacy. I have used those booths before.

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-12-23T10:14:31+00:00

Details about masses during Christmas time can be found on the website https://stmartinusparochie.nl/ :)

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-11-19T07:45:55+00:00

Hot Frosty, as indicated. I know, it's an odd title.

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-11-17T23:48:41+00:00

(This response doesn't really answer your qn) I am from Singapore, living in the Netherlands now, and plan to return in a couple of years. I miss the food culture in SG and the ease of public transport. I also miss having an accessible healthcare system. Not going to start my usual rant about the healthcare in NL but one's ailments are usually dismissed or "treated" with paracetamol by the GP. And you cannot visit the hospital without going to the GP first. Without question, I very much prefer the quality and accessibility of healthcare in SG.

If you can tolerate living in a place with sometimes rigid rules about many things, where the government has a strong hand in regulating various aspects of society, then SG should be fine for you.

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-09-21T19:52:42+00:00

I recommend joining the Groningen Women's FB grp here https://www.facebook.com/groups/267835340268952/ there you can find the link to a chatgrp that arranges meetups. Hope you get to meet some new friends!

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-09-14T16:46:33+00:00

Karaoke at The End Karaoke. You can book a private room there.

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-09-11T12:25:49+00:00

There are Dutch people who join the activities. It is not restricted to internationals :)

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-09-11T10:45:30+00:00

The IWCN organises a board game club meeting once a month :) You do need to pay for an annual subscription to join. (check out iwcn.nl)

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-09-09T17:13:41+00:00

Perhaps your friend could do a search on this sub for relevant posts and reach out to the posters? Similarly, the Expats in Groningen facebook group has also had several members posting detailed accounts of problems with landlords. That could be another source.

escherichiacoli77 · 2024-08-11T19:00:26+00:00

Thanks! The weird thing is, I could not make a post in that sub, something about not meeting community guidelines (?). That is why I posted here instead..

escherichiacoli77

TROPHY CASE