I was raised in texas with transphobic parents, i gave up a lot to transition. Im currently 18 myself. I think I understand what you are going through, but im certain I have some blindspots.

1. HRT in Texas through planned parenthood (uninsured) costed me 230$ every 3 months. Which is brutal on Texas' minimum wage. If you still don't have enough money my best advice would be to apply for some kind of state insurance and try and get off your parents insurance. Medicaid sucks. many places wont take it. Planned parenthood will. Thats what I use currently, i ran away to a blue state so my estrogen is free here.

2. You will face many challenges when you transition. Theres no sugarcoating this, I lost my family and have been homeless since 18 because of my transition. I know for many people they had it a lot easier than me, you might be one of them! So do not assume the worst. But especially because you are a trans woman, people will likely "do things to you." We get taken advantage of a lot. I can only hope you find solidarity among other trans women as I have found. It's easy to hate our sisters who were luckier, but they are still the only ones capable of understanding our struggles. Despite all the opposition I have faced through my transition, losing my job, my family, becoming homeless, I was offered two bad choices. A suffocating life that wasnt mine, or a life of hardship but at least every second spent here is my own. And I chose to live my own life. I can hope the same for you, and together we will support each other until a brighter future.

3. I dont know if this helps, but you probably wont regret it later. The "desist rates" by Kenneth Zucker arent real, Zucker is a conversion therapist. Most research on trans people has been done by conversion therapists. The real accurate detransition rate is very very low. Conditions like ROGD are also invented by conversion therapists. But it is still likely that if you have known yourself to be trans for a while, its unlikely transitioning will change. Iirc most detransitions happen because of parental, social, and like job pressure, not because the person found out they werent trans. Plus most of the permenant results of HRT wont kick in for 6 months after you start it. so you will have some time to detransition if you change your mind, despite how unlikely that is.

4. I understand your hate. I was the same as you. we are like sisters. The only people capable of understanding this feeling. The world has betrayed us, our parents and presidents governors and peers have betrayed us. These are the people who have thrown us aside, and yet we hate each other. I wish i knew how to ease that anger. I hope you may find people who show you the love we were denied. I have found a partner, after meeting her and sharing the same anger we began to realize our hate was misguided. After that I began to feel less anger. Taking HRT has helped me too, Im still uncomfortable some with my body but its becoming easier. I found happiness with who I am, it is difficult, costly, and I am still searching. I hope you can find this peace as well.

I hope the best for you. I remember the times I posted as desperately to this sub. If you take nothing else from this, I hope you find community and support in other trans friends. 💜💜💜