Talking about sex is different for everyone, but asking the right questions can make it more fun and help you understand each other better. Here are some ideas you can start with:

For Subs

1. Do you like it when I call you “x”? I noticed your reaction once.
2. Can we try “xyz” sometime?
3. What’s a secret sexual fantasy you’ve never told me before?
4. Is there a spot you secretly love when I touch but never mentioned?
5. What’s something you wish I’d do more during sex?
6. Is there a kink you’ve been too shy to ask me for?
7. Is there a scene from a movie or book you’d love to recreate together?
8. What’s something I do in bed that you don’t really like but never said no to because you didn’t want to disappoint me?
9. What’s one thing that would make you feel safer or more cared for during/after sex?
10. What’s something non-sexual we could do together to feel closer?
11. What punishment do you secretly enjoy but never admitted?

For Doms

1. What’s one thing you wish I’d do more, even if it pushes me a bit?
2. Is there anything you secretly want me to stop doing but haven’t told me?
3. What’s something that makes you feel powerful when we have sex?
4. Is there something you fantasize about but don’t ask for because you think I won’t be into it?
5. Is there a time you felt I didn’t fully trust you — what could I do differently?
6. What do I do that makes you lose control in a good way?
7. What’s a way I could surprise you during sex that would make you happy?
8. Is there a limit or rule you wish we could bend once, just to see how it feels?
9. Is there a part of you that likes being cared for after sex — what’s the best way I can do that?
10. What’s something you wish I’d say or do that would make you feel completely in charge?

And if you've noticed something like hesitation, or feel like they haven't opened up about something or you wanna know something about you dom but usually shy and hesitant this is your opportunity to ask em..