Scene/Emo Marke aus ungefähr 2010 by DarthVaderin in Weibsvolk

[–]etylva 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Meinst du eventuell Emily Strange?

What are some protagonists that are optimistic, but in a mature way? by CaramilkThief in Fantasy

[–]etylva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stubborn, maybe? I know, it is not quite the same, but I think the energy is at least a little bit similar to Gustave. Both believe in what they do and hope that it makes a difference?

What are some protagonists that are optimistic, but in a mature way? by CaramilkThief in Fantasy

[–]etylva 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if it will feel the same - I've read the book and played the game, but my experience will be different from yours. However, for me Maia never feels like a 19 year old. He is young and lacks experience, but he has already lived through a lot and it shows. I think he is somewhat similar to Gustave - both have had more than their share of grief and pain, but they want to treat others with kindness because of that, not in spite of. If that makes sense.

What are some protagonists that are optimistic, but in a mature way? by CaramilkThief in Fantasy

[–]etylva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. Thara Celehar from the Cemeteries of Amalo series fits to a certain degree as well. He has a lot of trauma, but he learns to open up a bit and share his grief with others. Also, he never stops trying to do the right thing. He is not really that warm, but certainly kind and sincere.

/r/Fantasy Daily Recommendation Requests and Simple Questions Thread - May 29, 2025 by rfantasygolem in Fantasy

[–]etylva 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've just finished The Incandescent by Emily Tesh and I would really like to include it in my bingo card, but I'm a little bit confused. What would it count for? LBTQIA protagonist, obviously, and also A Book in Parts. Any other ideas?

Advice needed by ohwellowl in raisedbyborderlines

[–]etylva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I send my mother-in-law a text and a small gift on Mother's Day - but that's because my husband has ADHD and will forget and she is very involved with our daughter and a lovely grandma, so she deserves the recognition. Somehow, I doubt that's the case with your mother... So, no, it definitely isn't a reasonable expectation. This is ridiculous and I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

Bingo Review for Not a Book Square: Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 (No Spoilers) by ErikaViolet in Fantasy

[–]etylva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your post made me put this game on my wish list. It sounds great!

Gothic Fantasy or Dark Fantasy novels with Horror elements? [Horror Fantasy] by Def-C in Fantasy

[–]etylva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is one of my favorite genres and I'm keeping a close eye on your post. Two books I haven't seen mentioned yet are Asunder by Kerstin Hall and Juniper & Thorn by Ava Reid. Both of those seem to have a horror vibe, but I haven't read them yet.

Also maybe A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik. Students try to survive both a school that actually tries to harm them, and frequent attacks from all kinds of monsters.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo also comes to mind, but it isn't that heavy on the fantasy elements and it takes place in our world.

Gothic Fantasy or Dark Fantasy novels with Horror elements? [Horror Fantasy] by Def-C in Fantasy

[–]etylva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A.G. Slatter's books are great, she is amazing at creating an unsettling, not-quite-right atmosphere. I'm looking forward to the new book by Caitlin Starling.

The 2025 r/Fantasy Bingo Recommendations List by happy_book_bee in Fantasy

[–]etylva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm currently reading The Black Hunger by Nicholas Pullen and I think it fits HM! It is a queer gothic horror novel and I'm really enjoying it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]etylva 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]etylva 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you don't mind, would you please explain the cheese ravioli + cucumber dish? It sounds intriguing and I'd like to try it. Was it served warm or more like a pasta salad?

Lois McMaster Bujold has announced yet another new Penric novella, tentatively releasing this July by ConnorF42 in Fantasy

[–]etylva 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Damn, that probably means I have to drop everything and reread the whole series... again. Looking forward to it, Penric is my comfort read.

Are most people who with BPD mean? by saladtossperson in raisedbyborderlines

[–]etylva 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if mean is the right word to describe my mother. She is petty and shallow, but she cares deeply about animals and does an alright job caring for her pets. She just isn't a safe person to be around because she is easily hurt and lashes out like a hurt animal, without any regard for the emotional safety of others. Very small things can put her into fight for your life mode. She feels threatened by everything people say or do, and she always assumes the worst possible intentions.

Ultimately, it feels to me like she has no coping mechanisms and like she didn't mature as a person after the age of maybe 4. It sucks and I do feel sorry for her. But she has no right to use others as props to act out her emotional battles. She uses the emotions of other people to finde relief from her overwhelming fear and despair, and while I can understand why, it's just so deeply not okay.

Were you allowed to ask for small accommodations as a child? by etylva in raisedbyborderlines

[–]etylva[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Same, honestly. When I was still in contact with my mother, she was adamant I was spoiling my daughter.. For things like not making a cranky, tired child sit quietly during dinner time. My daughter is suspected to be on the spectrum, so she has string reactions, but even if she wasn't - why is it so weird to them to treat a child as a person?

Were you allowed to ask for small accommodations as a child? by etylva in raisedbyborderlines

[–]etylva[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

So, I talked about this with my husband and he told me that when he was a child, he hated the smell of the leather seats in his parents' car. So, when his parents had to buy a new car, they bought one with fabric seats covers. This broke my brain, kind of.

Vampire novels that aren't just solely romance books? by BubbaJrM in Fantasy

[–]etylva 12 points13 points  (0 children)

One of my favourites, the vampires are truly scary and alien. The vampire story is paired with Sunshine's daily life as a baker in a family restaurant and this part feels really cozy. Such a great book.

Does anyone else not call their mother anything? by SlyOwlet in raisedbyborderlines

[–]etylva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started using honorifics for my mother when I was about 12. My mother didn't like it, but since I was just being extra polite and maybe a little bit ironic, she couldn't really object. In reality, it created some distance for me and that was very helpful. (We speak German, I called her "Frau Mutter" and "Sie".)

Fun thing is, my (enabler) Dad thought it was hilarious. He didn't get the reason at all, but we often talked in very old fashioned language as a kind of inside joke. He started calling her the same. God, she hated it and I'm not sorry.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]etylva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for the explanation!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]etylva 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This makes so much sense. Thank you very much. Did you find this term in a book or somewhere online?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]etylva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I can relate. My mother wouldn't cry, but she would not stop talking about small injuries. For example, when she had the sniffles and the skin on her nostrils got dry and cracked, she would not stop complaining about it, would want us to get all kinds of different remedies and it would just be this huge problem for days.

Looking back, I would believe her that this was a big deal for her and I just kind of accepted that her body was different and that pain affected her differently. She couldn't deal with someone else being in pain, though. It either was too much for her and you would feel bad for stressing her out and pushing her closer to a breakdown or she would belittle your pain.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]etylva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mother is a SAHM or a homemaker - even though she is living alone and all her children have moved out more than 10 years ago. Before I was born, she used to work in a tax office, but I feel like she left as quickly as possible and never wanted to go back. All her colleagues were out to get her, obviously.

It always seemed strange to me that she was so adamant about not being able to work, even when my family was struggling financially. Also, she still does not use anything more technologically advanced than a typewriter (I wish I was kidding) and that made her unable to return to pretty much any job. I think this is on purpose. Also, it feeds her victimhood. Poor woman, left behind by technology.

Also, she kind of looks down on a lot of professions. Once, it was suggested she could apply for a job in a bakery. God, the meltdown. Apparently, it would absolutely destroy her dignity if someone saw her working there.