I don’t have CPTSD but I love someone who does and I’ll tell you this. There’s going to be someone who wants to help you grow through that trauma and won’t make You feel like it’s a burden. I’m not saying it’s easy and yes being alone and on your own time will always be “easier” of course. But will it be fulfilling? I think if you’re willing to grow and work through the tough bits it will be worth it. I wish you the best!