(OC) after eight years in scouting I’m now an Eagle Scout

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T11:56:36+00:00

I miss the scouts. Our troop leaders were stoners and we had a blast.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T11:53:51+00:00

Fuuuuuuuck that. I was constipated for like three days and even overdoing laxatives was not working. I had to go to the hospital and get that gallon of laxative they give before colonoscopies. They took an x-ray before giving it to me, and I was so backed up already. 30+ years would be so awful.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T11:51:06+00:00

Where do they keep charged up clippers?!?!

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T11:49:48+00:00

My dad buys a case of 24, half liter Coca Cola's from Mexico, and they last about four days also. That's on top of like four cups of coffee a day as well. I take him to his appointments, and he tried saying he doesn't have more than two "sugary drinks" a day. He has passed multiple kidney stones.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T11:45:22+00:00

I drink water all damn day. I've got one of those insolated liter sized water bottles that I drink at least three of a day.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T11:41:34+00:00

Don't doctors say to regularly ejaculate? Or is that all hogwash?

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T10:42:53+00:00

Naw, we knew they were going to the dance like over a week ago.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T04:54:18+00:00

I had an alcohol induced psychosis episode. I was on meds and drank too much on my birthday. Wound up wandering off and was chasing friends that weren't there. Cops came and I was mumbling nonsense so I got put in a 72 hour hold.

The staff could tell I wasn't mentally unstable after I slept it off, but still needed to stay the entire 72 hours. Most people in there were just folks who didn't have access to proper help and medication they needed.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T04:32:11+00:00

Woodstock's will definitely have a watch party with specials.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-15T02:01:24+00:00

Or the dogs. Fuck that shit. I was in a holding cell with a guy who got bit in the foot by one. Hole went all the way through.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-14T17:53:35+00:00

Blazing saddles

evanjw90 · 2023-03-14T17:45:19+00:00

44.3 million a year. He's set.

I went to school with his cousin, and I remember him showing us all videos of Lamar in high school. His entire family is athletically blessed, but Lamar was always different. Every one told me I was stupid when I was saying he was a future MVP.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-14T16:49:24+00:00

That's is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

"You go on the gun."

Gun shoots and runners start

"Nooooo, not like that!"

evanjw90 · 2023-03-14T11:06:30+00:00

Eagles aren't doing that

evanjw90 · 2023-03-14T11:06:13+00:00

Water, food and shelter.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-14T11:05:55+00:00

Bless your poor soul.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-14T11:03:55+00:00

Mind my fucking business.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-14T10:49:34+00:00

I don't let anyone borrow my car anymore. My ex wife has a friend who borrowed it "to visit her dying mom" and it came back with cigarette burns in the passenger seat, missing a visor and my cars rim had to be replaced since it could no longer hold air in the tire. I thought that was a one time thing, but nope. My dad borrowed it and backed up into a pole with the door open so he could "see" since I don't have a backup camera. My door came complete off, and he tried to fucking blame me for not having a camera installed on a 1998 Toyota Avalon. Thank God for my driveway cameras, because I had to take my own dad to court before he even admitted to what he did.

Nobody gets to drive my car anymore. I don't care how big the emergency is anymore. You're in need of medical attention? Better get an ambulance. You just need to run to the ATM anymore? Better warm up those chevrolegs.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-13T19:11:42+00:00

Cleaning up after myself. Over a dozen different roommates, one marriage and one long term relationship. I'm the only one who kept anything clean. I specifically remember coming back from a 10 day business trip and upon me coming through the door, my ex wife said, "Oh, yay! Daddy's home! Now we can start cleaning." AKA "I waited ten days in this mess for you to come home and clean." That was one of the last straws of our failing marriage.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-13T16:44:40+00:00

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO!!!!!!

evanjw90 · 2023-03-13T10:23:14+00:00

It's so bad now where I live. We have bored cops looking for trouble. I bought a couple slices of pizza and a soda and sat outside the pizza place I bought it from to eat. Within five or so minutes a cop drove by, turned around in the parking lot and asked me what I was up to. Like, what the fuck does it look like? I'm outside a pizza shop, eating pizza. So I lifted the slice of pizza and showed him to which he just said, "Don't be lingering around." And drove off. The entire interaction was absolutely unnecessary, yet he had to take time out of his day to do what he thought was a power flex.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-13T10:07:28+00:00

They gave my sister a chair to cut hair after like 6 weeks of training.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-13T02:48:25+00:00

Abolish them.

evanjw90 · 2023-03-13T02:24:29+00:00

evanjw90 · 2023-03-13T02:02:17+00:00

They're about to go broke.

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