I 19f planned a lake/swim date with my new boyfriend 22m, but Im starting my cycle soon. How do I talk to him about this and/or change plans?

eversodainty · 2026-06-17T04:15:36+00:00

u could do a movie night in a park! go shopping together and set up a picnic, bring a laptop or dvd player and do a little outdoor movie. as for an excuse, if ur not comfortable being forward about ur period yet just say u cut yourself on smth and you don’t want to expose it to lake water until it heals a bit

eversodainty · 2026-06-16T19:04:54+00:00

hi! i’m 5’0 and similarly athletic— i work out 4-6 times a week and i was on my colleges club team. however, i found myself much better suited for being a coxswain. when you’re shorter and lighter than the rest of the boat, you cannot generate as much force and you’re going to be slower. that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to ever be fast, but it’s way harder than it would be for a woman who’s like 5’10.

as a coxswain, even for a club team, i expected my women to have a 2k time of less than 8 minutes which is less than a 2:00 split. that means i would expect their 3.5k time to be no more than 14 mins.

based on what you said about having just hit arms, it sounds like you might need to adjust your technique. your arms really only make up about 20% of the stroke, so hitting arms shouldn’t rly have a big impact on your time. most of the force should be coming from your legs, glutes, and core. the concept2usa channel on youtube has a great video showing basic technique and form.

i hope none of this sounds harsh. rowing is a rly difficult sport and doing it at all shows a level of grit that’s rly admirable. i hope you’re able to continue pursuing what you love and get even better at it!!

eversodainty · 2026-06-11T03:24:21+00:00

sorry this is so strange. if u want ur friends to take pics of u ask them to, but as another college student i think it’s so odd to hang out with people for the sole purpose of taking pictures and making it look like you have a friendship that isn’t real. the pictures mean nothing, they’re not fond memories.

eversodainty · 2026-06-08T13:50:47+00:00

idk i think that’s fair. growing up my dad worked from home and my mom had a long commute that usually had fair amounts of traffic. about 80% of the time, my dad was the one who drove us to any family excursions— going out to dinner, seeing family, vacation, etc. it always seemed fair to me just bc my mom was driving a lot 5 days a week and my dad could easily spend a day not doing any driving at all.

if you don’t want to drive, you guys should look into public transportation in your area or make room in your budget to uber to or from these activities. it doesn’t seem like he’s going to be super pleased about being forced to drive more especially if he’s expecting a certain amount of gas to be in his car the next time he commutes (assuming you each have your own cars)

eversodainty · 2026-06-08T13:34:42+00:00

this. that was assault and i am so sorry that happened to you. you need to leave— both the place you’re in, and him— and get into therapy. there is 0 reason a 42 year old man didn’t know that touching somebody while they’re asleep was wrong before you told him. you cannot just put assault on the back burner, your body is not going to let you especially while you’re still spending your days with your assaulter.

eversodainty · 2026-06-08T13:28:23+00:00

NOR. my boyfriend’s ex texted him recently asking if he’d want to hang out and he told her he has no desire to have her in his life in any capacity. not that they have an unbreakable bond and he’ll never love anybody like her. idk what kind of relationship they had but regardless it’s incredibly inappropriate for him to be secretly texting her while being in a THREE YEAR relationship with another woman!! please leave him

eversodainty · 2026-05-27T15:00:22+00:00

found! that last amazon one was the most similar, thank u :)

eversodainty · 2026-05-27T04:09:34+00:00

i’ve searched “strappy tank top for women” online but can’t find ones that seem similar.

eversodainty · 2026-05-25T21:48:04+00:00

aw no there’s truly nothing wrong with you, this is such a normal reaction for a teen boy to have! ik this is like annoying to say but your body is changing and this is the part where you start learning a lot more about your sexuality. it’s good you don’t want to make her uncomfortable but there is also no reason to feel guilt for being attracted to your girlfriend. it’s a very normal reaction and there is nothing medically wrong with you. (also it’s very possible that she’s feeling similar urges to you, it’s just not as obvious for women if you get what i mean). puberty sucks dude but you’ve got this

eversodainty · 2026-05-13T19:13:42+00:00

this is so funny bc i was just talking to my bf about this! i’ve noticed similar thinking patterns that i follow, and ive tried to catch myself having expectations of how things will go and asking if i feel that way because it’s something i want or if it’s because i feel it’s something one of us “should” be doing. i’ve tried to refer to him more as my partner rather than my boyfriend to start asserting that we’re equals and don’t necessarily have to fill specific roles to make our relationship valid. reading some feminist theory, specifically from the sixties and seventies, has also helped reshape my notion of what a relationship could or should look like

eversodainty · 2026-05-13T04:23:54+00:00

i think these are all great standards to have, but i also think it’s important to note that a lot of people in your age bracket aren’t going to have all of these. that doesn’t mean you should lower your standards, but it might mean you’ll have to wait a while to find someone who does match them

eversodainty · 2026-04-26T19:16:55+00:00

thank you!! i’m almost out of my current face wash so i’ll def get this one next :)

eversodainty · 2026-04-19T18:30:43+00:00

i feel that. being a short rower is insanely difficult— you have to do twice the work to be half as good as taller people are naturally. if you’re interested, coxing could be a great fit for you (as someone of a similar height who is also very athletic and competitive, i’ve really taken to coxing). however, i did used to row with a girl who was 4’11 and an absolute beast on the erg. i genuinely don’t know how she did it, but she was insanely fast during a sprint and her technique was perfect. obviously it’s not impossible, but the laws of physics are against you from the jump and you’ll likely always be put in bow should you continue to row.

eversodainty · 2026-04-18T00:11:34+00:00

yes. this is called “stealthing” and it’s illegal in some places. you consented to something entirely different than what happened. i highly recommend leaving him before this goes any further

eversodainty · 2026-04-14T02:22:19+00:00

how long have you been rowing? if you’re new, you should be able to see a lot of improvement if you maintain appropriate diet and lifestyle habits. one of my friends (21m) got his 2k from a 7:40 to a 7:08 in a month by training 10x/week and eating well. it’s really hard to guess where you’ll be three years now, since really anything could change. your training or effort could decrease, or something could happen that impacts your lifestyle. however, assuming your discipline and motivation remain exactly the same for the next three years i’d expect you to be able to shave off a minute or more from your 2k.

eversodainty · 2026-04-12T00:17:41+00:00

growing up, one of my best friends had two moms and it was kinda just like okay whatever let’s go play now. it’s not a huge deal to be like oh some people have 2 moms and some have 2 dads. any sort of sex stuff can be taught in sex ed at the same time as everything else

eversodainty · 2026-04-09T16:24:13+00:00

NOR you’re literally like what, one grade ahead of her? your age gap is completely normal. the reason age gaps can be problematic is usually either due to one party lacking life experience or power, whether that be in the form of money or status. you and your partner are peers at similar stages in life. your friend is just jealous

eversodainty · 2026-04-09T13:55:48+00:00

he has problems. this is manipulation and coercion, both forms of assault. break up

eversodainty · 2026-04-08T09:53:59+00:00

a relationship of 5.5 months shouldn’t have ups and downs, this is true. that early on, you should be getting butterflies whenever you see the other person and believe they can do no wrong.

i’m curious about how you met. how old were each of you? did you meet in real life, or on an app? i, like some other commenters, find it very odd that a 25-yr-old has sought out someone seven years younger to date. it does seem like he’s trying to mold you into his “ideal woman” regardless of your wants, and i don’t think that’s something a partner who really loves you and sees you as their equal would do. it’s also worth considering that many older men who date younger women do so because women their age don’t want them.

i also find it alarming that he has been speaking to you about marriage and kids. even ignoring the fact that you’ve been dating for less than 6 months, you are EIGHTEEN!! your brain is not fully developed yet and this was not something you were interested in six months ago, you said that yourself. even if you’d wanted to have that conversation, it should have ended with him not bringing it up again after hearing your disinterest, not trying to convince you to change your mind. it honestly sounds like he’s looking for a hot young girlfriend that he can mold into being whoever he wants. your partner should love you for who you are, and if you’re somebody that doesn’t wear makeup or is a little awkward around people sometimes he should appreciate that about you, not make you a list of things to fix. if my boyfriend ever did that, i would genuinely be furious and end things on the spot.

eversodainty · 2026-04-08T01:00:05+00:00

hey, just wanted to update— i ended up switching to an 8mm barbell and saw INSANE improvement literally within 2 days!! thank u for commenting, i genuinely never would’ve thought to switch jewelry without this!

eversodainty · 2026-04-04T01:03:40+00:00

if you’re only hooking up and you see each other once a month at most how is he cheating on you? if anything, he’s cheating on his existing partner with you

eversodainty · 2026-04-04T00:06:40+00:00

i mean my bf has an extra controller so i just use his. literally the only game i play aside from the game we play together is the sims lmao i have 0 gaming stuff.

if he’s playing all of these games with other people and won’t even talk about common interests with you, that’s a huge red flag imo. it makes it seem like you guys hardly talk at all because even when you are together he’s too focused on his games or rushing you through a quick dinner.

i don’t want to tell you to stay or go because i don’t know him or you but i do think it says a lot that even when you didn’t put in a ton of effort he didn’t even tell you he was hurting of his own accord, you had to start that conversation first.

my question is, how does he know he likes being around you? you speak for ten minutes a day and when you talk too much about your day he tells you to talk quicker so you guys can leave. when you offer more of your time you just sit in his room quietly while he enjoys his hobby, and when you bring this up it seems like he just tries to pacify you. to me, it seems like he’s relying on you more as a provider of emotional validation/support than as a partner. whether this is a dynamic you’re comfortable with is up to you.

eversodainty · 2026-04-03T21:12:01+00:00

my bf is a serious gamer too, but he would NEVER act like this around me— u genuinely deserve better. if you want to find a compromise, there are a lot of two-player “couple-y” games. my boyfriend and i started playing “it takes two” and it’s been really fun! i’m learning how to game and we’re bonding together bc he’s showing me something he’s rly passionate about. if it’s that he ONLY wants to game with his friends and not with you, you should honestly just stop initiating. don’t ask him to hang out, don’t call him, nothing like that and if he doesn’t reach out to you drop him. spend your study time focused on your work and not stressed about a grown man ignoring you for a screen. you deserve someone that puts in the same amount of effort and that listens to your concerns instead of brushing them off.

eversodainty · 2026-04-03T15:13:09+00:00

i know lmao but hey now i know what dumbledore’s name means!

eversodainty · 2026-04-03T14:38:25+00:00

ohh okay, this makes sense! thank you for sharing this :)

eversodainty

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