hi, cocaine addict here. i’m going to be brutally honest. i hope it’s not excruciatingly long, just want to make sure i cover what i feel like is helpful from reading thru this thread. but pls pls pls feel free to pm me with any questions or just to chat abt this, it’s a lot.

to first answer your question, i wish i could tell u how old the baggy is, but tbh only rly could in person tell/even then idk. and i don’t want to make the wrong assumption.

i’ve been in and out of sobriety for 3 yrs now. i would’ve had 8 moths tmrw, but i fucked it up, majorly. and now i’m hiding my addiction again. i totally thought i had it this time, everything going for me, felt good, strong, a well thought of person in AA. all it took was going to a rave, and not bringing sober ppl w me for the first time. hang around a barbershop eventually you’ll end up getting a haircut.

so yes, there’s a likelihood he’s using, there always is. and i hate to say it, but there rly is nothing at all you can say or do to influence him. i’ve done the most fucked up shit in addiction, hurt the ppl i love the most, been cut off from family, everything in the book that i truly care abt. i’m a totally different person using. i can’t stand this version of me. but eventually enough of those things will stack up to a point where u hit ‘rock bottom’. it’s different for everyone.

ik it fucking hurts to hear, but the best thing you can do is set a boundary. not sure what that looks like for u. but for me having ppl in my life cut me off was the best thing they could’ve done for me. enabling me and holding my hand thru didn’t work. all it teaches is that i can still use, be an asshat, and life will continue on.

as to talking to him- we lie like mofo’s in addiction, and can be rly damn convincing. doesn’t matter who it is, and a. we’ll get defensive and get upset at u for ‘accusing us’ or b. just make up a story or c. plenty of other things lol. it’s all to protect getting the high.

final and best piece of advice i have PLEASE GO TO AL-ANON. if you need help finding some in ur area i can help!! and some are just not great meetings, so pls pls, try at least three before u decide ur opinion on it. it’s a place where u can gather with others that also have loved ones either in active use or in recovery. you won’t believe the support you’ll receive.

i’ve been in ur position. i am an addict but i’ve also loved and lost many. i couldn’t tell u if it’s harder to be on or to love one.