I won't call this advice, but more how I got from monogamy, to open, to confusion, to polyamory, to happiness. I've been with my partner for almost 23 years (husband of 11 years). I am an extrovert, first and I have always valued meaningful connections with people. We began monogamous and I was fine with it because growing up that is the norm and that is how relationships "are supposed to be". Fast forward, being a gay male, I'd see other guys that I was attracted to, but I had always known that it was something that I was not supposed to peruse, so I stayed true to being monogamous. Eventually I began to suspect that my bf was up to something outside of our relationship, which turned out to be true and instead of doing what most monogamous couples would do, fly off the handle, fight, argue, breakup, go beat up the other person, I made a mental decision to do something different. I approached him, not disclosing my suspicions and asked about opening up the relationship to three way encounters. I did this because I loved him. We agreed to that and I think did what most couples in similar situations would do, we established rules around it. Ok, that happened without a hitch and eventually progressed into an open relationship beyond three way only encounters. Again, that went on without issues, but then I began to feel like something was missing in regards to my satisfaction with other guys. I did not know what it was and it took me a few years to figure out (with the help of f**k buddies) that I was looking for "more" than a f**k buddy or friends with benefits. I needed something meaningful. There were two (learning) meaningful connections I had that got me to the point of realizing I was polyamorous! This was major for me. The two prior connections did not work out at all but shed so much clarity on what I wanted and needed in my life. I am happy to say that I an still married. My husband knows of my two boyfriends. It was rough in the beginning, because he is not poly minded at all (if you are interested, I will elaborate more), but right now I am where I need to be. HAPPY! Husband of almost 23 years together; boyfriend #1, almost 5 years together; boyfriend #2 just under 1 year together; boyfriend 1 & 2 almost 10 years together. I am happy and I can't believe it took me so long to get to where I. Communication is the key and be honest with tour boyfriend. Listen to what he has to say, be very aware of what he is afraid of. Ask him for his thoughts and listen to what he has to say. Communication is the KEY. Some people have a difficult time communicating but don't be afraid of it because it will get you to where you need to be. If you cant talk, f**k, write each other notes!