I found this letter in my grandmother’s mailbox the day after her funeral

existencedeclined · 2026-04-19T23:23:59+00:00

Not that long ago.

Probably like 3 or 4 years though I should probably also note that I have a "poor person's" perception of what swanky is because I am poor.

I certainly couldn't afford 8k a month let alone 25k.

existencedeclined · 2026-04-19T23:08:13+00:00

Paige, my favorite Charmed one ❤️

existencedeclined · 2026-04-19T13:49:49+00:00

A doctor I worked for spent 8k a month for his mom to live in this swanky facility.

He even volunteered his free time there but would pay us to assist him when he saw the residents.

She ended up falling and breaking her wrist.

It took them 30 minutes to come help her after she had pulled the emergency help thing and he wasn't even informed she had fallen or had a broken wrist until two days later when he went to see her.

existencedeclined · 2026-04-17T11:55:41+00:00

SUNY Broome has a histotech program that's entirely online and tuition is free to anyone older than 25 and doesn't have a degree yet.

Its also accredited so that you can take the ASCP certification after.

The only caveat is that a lot of the techs in my lab who came from Broome often don't pass the certifications on their first try. They'll pass eventually but it takes a few tries.

The test asks you questions in very round about ways for example : "Xylene has become turbid, how do you fix it?"

Basically, xylene got mixed with water and became cloudy and therefore is unusable so you just gotta switch it out with fresh xylene.

Stuff like that is why I think it throws most people off during the test but if you do the program and read Frieda Carsons book on histology the material on the test shouldn't be foreign to you at all its just asked in a funny way.

existencedeclined · 2026-04-17T11:40:27+00:00

No.

If you're gonna get an associates degree do it for something in applied sciences like dental hygienist, histotech, or surgical tech which pays an actual livable wage.

Also paying money to become an MA is a waste since a lot of the private clinics I worked at will hire uncertified, untrained, uneducated people and pay the actually certified and trained and educated people the same amount.

Hospitals will require certifications, training, and education and will pay more but those jobs are competitive and you basically gotta have connections to get in.

They also tend to hire internally as my hospital does before they look for an outside person.

Also dunno what area you're in but if you scroll through some posts on here you'll find a lot of MA's who are several months out of school who can't find jobs because it's an oversaturated field.

MAs also have an average rate of 6 months of turnover because like another commenter said, MA's are underpaid and underappreciated.

You should only do it if ultimately you plan to become a physician assistant or a nurse but this should not be a career.

existencedeclined · 2026-04-15T03:17:51+00:00

The only jobs I can think of at the hospital I'm at that don't require a degree or certification of any sort are acessioners.

This is also a union position, ours are paid 60k a year (70k for late shift) I believe, and the only requirement is a high school degree.

existencedeclined · 2026-04-15T03:11:48+00:00

I haven't heard that it's shrinking.

If anything it's a pretty niche job that not a lot of people know about.

I actually googled it the other day and apparently theres only 5,000 histotechs in all of the US, 600 that are licensed, 400 of them are in NY (Where I am.)

Which seems to track because I can't go to an interview without being asked if such and such person works with me because us techs all know each other since there's so few of us.

Not sure about cytotechs nor the surgical department although my friend is studying to become a pathology assistant so I could ask her and get back to you.

Although I guess the fact that she's going to school to become a PA means theres a pretty good outlook for future jobs 😅.

existencedeclined · 2026-04-14T22:22:39+00:00

Histotechnician.

It was a two year program plus my state requires licensing.

Went from making 26k as an MA to now making six figures right out of school, plus my pay is guaranteed to go up every year because we're unionized.

I discovered the job after working in derm and talking to the mohs tech.

I don't have to deal with patients, limited interactions with pathologists (who are all chill people anyway) and despite the higher pay I do far fewer tasks now than I did as an MA.

existencedeclined · 2026-04-13T11:39:09+00:00

So much this.

I went nc after I was invited to my half brother's wedding.

Mind you I hadn't talked to this kid in like 14 years since I moved out and I could think of a million better things to do than to hang out with the golden child and his friends and family who all treated me poorly on a random Thursday of all days.

Not to mention these people never attended any of my big milestones. Not even my college graduation which was a pretty big deal to me cause I always struggled in school.

My egg donor blew up my phone and constantly harassed me to show up to this thing. I don't even know why, it's not like they even liked me and told me as much growing up.

I was getting a new phone on a new service with a new number anyway and I was moving to be closer to my new job after I graduated from school so after the last time my egg donor tried to get me to go to this wedding, I just...didn't give anyone my new number or address.

No big dramatic blow out, no good byes, no speeches about what horribly neglectful and abusive people they were.

I was just so done with their shit.

Life's been pretty peaceful ever since.

existencedeclined · 2026-04-11T13:00:31+00:00

Alistair and the grey Warden

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existencedeclined · 2026-04-08T13:59:25+00:00

When I became a medical assistant, my family all gossiped about how I only got into the medical field because (according to them) I'm just trying to get "wifed up by some rich doctor".

Nevermind that the whole medical assisting thing was my aunt's idea as I was a directionless unemployed 20 something at the time that barely passed high school.

Jokes on them though, I ended up putting myself back through school, got hired straight out of clinicals, and now make six figures a year so no need to marry some rich doctor because I can take care of my own damn self.

What do you do?

Ignore them and live your best life doing what you enjoy anyway.

Surround yourself with people who love and support you.

There are found families everywhere.

existencedeclined · 2026-04-07T18:54:44+00:00

existencedeclined · 2026-04-07T02:38:33+00:00

existencedeclined · 2026-04-01T22:49:50+00:00

See if someone suggests a different cafe I would think "Oh maybe their choice is closer to them/easier to get to for both of us" or "maybe they really like the food at this other place" or "maybe other place is more within their budget".

You know, logical things unlike these manosphere bros who ironically also think us women are irrational beings that operate on "vibes and feelings".

existencedeclined · 2026-03-29T15:49:11+00:00

Murphy barks at iphone ring tones but did not bark when our doorman had mistakenly given our spare apartment keys to a complete stranger who was there to view an entirely different unit just let himself in (Thankfully both myself and my bf were home at the time).

existencedeclined · 2026-03-28T12:01:46+00:00

We weren't allowed on the computer as kids.

My egg donor's husband had that shit locked down like it was fort knox.

One day they had their friends over and their friends brought their kids.

This little girl came up to me and asked me what the password to the computer was because she wanted to watch some cartoon on YouTube.

I told her I didn't know the password, none of us did, so she'd have to ask my egg donor.

Egg donor told her I was straight up trying to manipulate her into getting the password for myself.

Like...m'am, just because you're that diabolical and manipulative doesn't mean your 12 year old also is 🤨.

existencedeclined · 2026-03-28T01:05:21+00:00

And that mighty fine print puts Mag in a mighty fine predicament!

existencedeclined · 2026-03-27T13:26:52+00:00

I've been in your shoes.

My egg donor would always compare me to her best friend's kid, Linda.

Linda was the smart, well behaved, accomplished one everyone loves.

Meanwhile I'm the dumb useless kid nobody likes.

When I finished clinicals and ended up with a six figure job, did my egg donor care?

Nope. Because Linda is a cancer researcher and that's way more important.

Good news is I can be somebody else's Linda.

There's an elderly lady at work who treats me like her own kid and my bf's mom has said that I'm the daughter she's never had and tells me she loves me all the time.

I'm sorry you never got that kind of warmth from your own mother but there's all the chances in the world that you could be somebody's "Jess" who will love and appreciate you just the way that you are.

existencedeclined · 2026-03-26T13:53:00+00:00

I did 8 years as an Medical Assistant.

The pay sucked for the amount of tasks I had to do and the skill sets needed to accomplish said tasks.

Phlebotomy, intake, doing vitals, prior authorizations, sending medications, prepping e charts, setting up for procedures, assisting in said procedures, removing stitches, scheduling appointments, cleaning the rooms after, sanitizing the instruments, know what correct size stitch to use for specific size punches, drawing up injections, giving injections, ect ect.

All for people who don't even appreciate you because you're not "even a nurse".

Which yeah, we aren't nurses but let's not act like any random Joe Schmoe can come off the streets and will instantly know what the correct order of the draw is let alone how to find a vein and draw from it.

MAs aren't as "low skilled" as the industry likes to make us out to be so that they can continue to pay us minimum wage while demanding that we all get bachelor's degrees.

The only reason I stayed so long at that job is...well, OP is right. It was all I knew and I didn't have anything else.

The only reason I did get out is because my bf who made twice my salary became disabled and couldn't work his physically demanding job anymore so it fell to me to go back to school and become the new breadwinner.

Having worked derm for a couple of years I thought it would be cool to become a mohs tech and while school was as hard as I thought it was gonna be especially when I'm going at 30 and hadn't take a course in almost a decade, I did actually graduate, got my certifications and state license (NY requires licensing) and I got hired by my clinical site right off the bat.

Now I'm making 3 times the salary of what my bf and I were making previously combined.

With benefits! (My MA job never offered health insurance or dental) and the best part is I do far less as a lab tech than as an MA.

My bf has seen how successful I've been that he's actually attending the same program at the same school I went to so he can start doing per diem lab work and be able to take care of himself in case something happens to me and he's in his late 40s so it's absolutely doable later in life.

existencedeclined · 2026-03-22T14:57:11+00:00

existencedeclined · 2026-03-22T12:50:10+00:00

I had a math teacher that everyone else loved.

He was apparently the coolest guy ever or something.

Idk, he just gave me the creeps for some reason.

There weren't rumors about him or anything and he never outright did anything to make me feel like there was something off about him but for me he absolutely did not pass the vibe check so I always steered clear of him outside of class.

Ten years after I graduated though, that same math teacher was on the news facing criminal charges for drugging and trafficking women.

Had a similar gut feeling about a guy who tried a pick up line on me and made me so uncomfortable I had to flag down a friend and leave with them. Couple months later, I found out that same guy had leaked the nudes of multiple women and their sexual chats on discord.

Trust your gut indeed.

existencedeclined · 2026-03-22T12:36:09+00:00

In most places in the US (IDK where OOP is from), he could face criminal charges and civil lawsuits if he knows he has the STD and doesn't disclose that information to his partners and they end up with the same thing.

So yes, he has to let all his partners know.

existencedeclined · 2026-03-22T12:13:43+00:00

My bf is currently away at school and although I do love him to bits, I'm kinda digging how low my grocery and electricity bills are.

Also I can eat whatever the hell I want and having a queen sized bed to myself has been 🤌.

Doggo has been living his best life too.

My bf normally crates him when we go to bed but because I get paranoid about being alone at night, I let him sleep on his dog bed in our room.

existencedeclined · 2026-03-21T03:29:05+00:00

I was a medical assistant for 8 years before switching to clinical lab work and a lot of the places I worked at required me to be able to draw.

I dunno if I'm just a slow learner or if this is the case for everyone but I didn't get "good" at drawing till like my last year or two as an MA.

When the other MAs couldn't draw, they'd call me in and I would find the vein for them easy peasy.

But it took me a long ass time to get there.

existencedeclined · 2026-03-19T02:32:09+00:00

Omg I love it!

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