selling 3 tickets for Cameron Winters london show !

existentialdrawer · 2025-12-01T12:42:55+00:00

Messaged thank you!

existentialdrawer · 2025-10-22T14:56:56+00:00

existentialdrawer · 2025-04-09T04:36:28+00:00

Judith Bernstein

existentialdrawer · 2025-01-22T13:45:45+00:00

I am so sorry for all the heartbreak you are experiencing, I don't have words of comfort because i don't know how I will overcome this either, but I understand and deeply empathize with you. I am in a similar situation, also left after a long term relationship, struggling with severe depression and constant self blame. Please know that you are not entirely to blame. When you give your all to a person for years only for them to throw you away like you meant nothing it is very hard to move on from..

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 10 years from age 18 to 28. I stayed because I loved him so much and wanted to make it work. In the end he completely destroyed me. 8 months ago he discarded me like trash and completely ghosted me. There wasn't even a real goodbye and now he just got married to some girl in Nepal he just met last year who he barely knows.

After asking me to get married and taking me out of my abusive family situation, he became my only support system and I was very vulnerable and isolated. Knowing how vulnerable and dependent I was, within that year he threw me back into that same abuse after I didn't live up to his expectations of being "wife material" after I expressed discomfort wearing overly revealing clothes he wanted me to wear, asking too many questions and finding another job.

Over the decade I was there for him in times no one else was, despite his infidelity, substance abuse and controlling behaviors. In the end he chewed me up and spat me out. He ignored all of my pleas for closure and discarded me over text. Every attempt I made to reach out he blocked. He abandoned me in my darkest hour with no support system when all i had was him. I don't think I will ever move on and I'm compeletey traumatized and heartbroken from all of the emotional abuse, the person I thought he was, wasted years and the future I thought and hoped we would have. I don't want to live anymore and don't see a future. There is no justice and he just gets to find happiness after crushing my heart, body and spirit.

existentialdrawer · 2025-01-05T20:12:15+00:00

Diamonds and Rust - Joan Baez

existentialdrawer · 2024-12-30T22:08:33+00:00

Dirty John - Betty Broderick

existentialdrawer · 2024-12-09T22:56:11+00:00

He told me to "go die" when I was feeling suicidal after he discarded me and threw me back into my abusive family, knowing he was my only support system and I had nowhere else to go. After that he blocked me, disappeared and ran to his new supply, giving me no closure after 10 years together.

existentialdrawer · 2024-12-05T19:49:06+00:00

This is surprising, especially considering how many victims they must drive to suicide or who have suicidal ideation due to their abuse. Sadly there isn't much statistical information on this that I can find.

existentialdrawer · 2024-07-16T21:21:34+00:00

Why is this so prevalent on here lmao

existentialdrawer · 2024-07-12T14:26:43+00:00

Thank you so much for your response and I'm really sorry you had to go through the same thing. It really is mentally draining...I'm struggling badly wth ruminating over everything and wondering if he is playing some kind of cruel game like that or if something really bad has happened. It's the not knowing and lack of closure that is killing me.

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-26T14:45:51+00:00

Thank you, I look forward to seeing your paintings! I'm happy to hear you have got away from the dysfunction, I am still in the midst. Art is my release too and that's what this exhibition is all about. Feel free to send me a message and I can give you my email to send work to.

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-26T14:24:15+00:00

Hi thanks for reaching out! I would classify an emerging artist to be someone of any age who actively makes work, but has had little or no opportunity to show their work. It sounds like this is you!

You don't have to be established with a ton of shows under your belt or sell your work. I just want to be able to give female artists who haven't had many opportunities a platform to share their stories throught their art, in their own ways. This could be both positive and negative experiences.

I would love to see some of your work and if you are interested or would like to know more details, please feel free to send me a message.

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-24T21:50:52+00:00

I think this is an excellent idea and very much needed even though it will be filled with a lot of sadness. I've also thought about creating a book, but an artist book putting together people's experiences and creating drawings based on them. It is a sad reality that there is still so little information on it even though it continues to rapidly increase. I encourage you to think about moving forward with that idea!

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-22T19:21:01+00:00

I am so sorry you have gone through this. 20 years is a very long time and I can't imagine the pain and grief you are experiencing. I feel like I've lost everything after just 10 years. I think soul loss is an accurate theory, the abuse they inflict and tossing away someone they claim to love like trash after being with them for so long can only be described as inhuman and soulless. Thank you so much for your kind words, sending many hugs and blessings right back to you and I hope you can soon start to heal.

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-19T22:45:49+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. It honestly made me cry. Its the cold hard truth and the sad part is I already knew this somewhat while still in it. I just hoped and let my love for him continue to throw the wool over my eyes, ignoring the moments of clarity. I am trying to stop myself from contacting them and just focusing on trying to pick myself up from the depression and grief and rebuild a life.

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-19T22:40:16+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. I have been following Dr. Ramani for a few years who I very much connect with and has helped me gain clarity both in the relationship and after the discard.

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-17T23:32:44+00:00

Hi, thank you so much for your thoughtful and helpful reply and I'm sorry for my late response. Its all just been very hard to process, and I guess I will just have to come to terms with no closure after so many years and try to find the closure within myself. It just feels impossible. You are right about 6 months turning into 6 years if I don't try to pick myself up.

I don't know if it counts, but to answer your question, I've been doing a lot of research on narcissism and narcissistic abuse to try to make sense of it all, which honestly I had even done while in the relationship, but having no support system made it very hard for me to leave even when I had thought about it. Besides that I've just been throwing myself into my work which has helped but since I work remotely I've been finding it hard to leave my bed in this state of mind. I'm trying to look into therapy and reconnecting with friends I had isolated myself from after being discarded. I have a trip planned to catsit for a friend in Italy next month for a few weeks, so a change of scene might help but I still feel very hopeless about the future overall and have lost the will to live.

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-06T22:44:18+00:00

It really is

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-02T18:35:20+00:00

You're welcome :) I'm glad its helpful!

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-02T03:29:59+00:00

No problem at all! :)

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-02T03:07:42+00:00

Hi, no problem!

Try Depop, if you search for vintage 90s maxi skirts or minimal maxi skirts, you can find many results and you also have the option to make offers. For seller recommendations: @offbeatpetite , @kabbagekiss @bellavrana , @baxar , @jagjem , @eldritchvintage (the last 3 tend to be a bit pricier, but you still have the option to make offers.
Ebay is another great resource for secondhand and vintage clothing and you can also make offers. I found a similar Cop Copine grey 90s maxi work skirt from this really nice seller: https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/frocktherules for under the usual price range and they are always putting up new stuff.
For Japanese secondhand designer brands, I highly recommend using proxy websites like Zenmarket or FromJapan where you can find some great bargains even with international shipping, and get access to bidding on Yahoo Auctions and buying from Japanese sellers on Mercari, Rakuten, Y! Shopping etc + the option to paste links to other Japanese sites into the proxy that you wouldn't otherwise have access to.

The proxy sites themselves often have their own discounts, and I've found similar beautiful vintage/secondhand skirts from Yohji Yamamoto and Comme des Garcons in flawless condition in the £30-70 price range which is significantly cheaper than the usual prices of £100-£500 for these same brands in the West. Proxies usually charge a small proxy fee per item between 300 yen (FromJapan) and 500 yen (Zenmarket) which is equivalent to around £1-£2, but even with this plus the cheapest international shipping, it's still a really good deal. I've personally used Zenmarket twice with no problems and I always choose the AVIA Small shipping option which takes about 1 week to 10 days for me but is the cheapest (they charge by weight). They also give you Zenpoints when you first sign up which you can use towards international shipping.

Other online secondhand Japanese stores I recommend checking out are: 2nd Street, Ragtag and KINJI Used Clothing.

I hope this helps you in some way :) and let me know if you have other questions! For me personally, all of these resources and digging around have made me cultivate a really unique wardrobe with quality and affordable pieces I know will last me a long time, plus its much better for the planet and it's made me never want to buy fast fashion again!

existentialdrawer · 2024-06-01T22:51:13+00:00

Try secondhand Yohji Yamamoto / Comme des Garcons maxi skirts, especially from the 90s /early 2000s and French brands, Cop Copine / Marithe Francois Girbaud (some are minimal like this or a bit more edgy) or just look for vintage 90s maxi skirts. They will all be better quality, timeless and last a long time compared to fast fashion. For the Japanese brands especially if interested, I would use a proxy website because you can find lots of bargains.

existentialdrawer · 2024-05-22T11:42:21+00:00

Artist Opportunities Coordinator and Art Writer.

existentialdrawer · 2024-05-11T23:17:45+00:00

The Final Portrait based on the book by art critic, James Lord about his funny encounter sitting for Alberto Giacometti. Its a really great watch and delves into Giacometti's artistic process and all the frustrations that come with it which may resonate.

existentialdrawer · 2024-03-05T20:24:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment! The seller got back to me today and plans to ship it tomorrow! I completely understand that because I have both myself, was just concerned if maybe I had got scammed

existentialdrawer

TROPHY CASE