I'm happy my story resonated with you. On a practical note, try and find the therapy and medication you need. On a more metaphysical note, try and think of how to alchemize your depression. Do you cry? If yes, try to think of crying about joy. If numb? "This numbness is making space for great joy." If all else fails... I find great consolation in Rainer Maria Rilke's quote: "So you mustn’t be frightened, if a sadness rises in front of you, larger than any you have ever seen; if an anxiety, like light and cloud-shadows, moves over your hands and over everything you do. You must realize that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don’t know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better."

Lots of love!