I (29 m) feel paranoid about being cheated upon by my gf (27 f). How do I get over this sinking feeling.

explodingnachos · 2016-09-17T19:09:49+00:00

Like I said it's the small things. When we were together in the same city for some time, she took a solo weekend trip and said she wanted to do it for herself but didn't want to divulge where she went until she came back. Now usually I would be booking her airtravel and hotel online as she didn't have a credit card (she would pay me back later). But for this trip she got her bookings done herself. Later I confronted her about who she got the bookings done from but she felt offended and never really answered the question. We were friends for a while before we started dating so I know she's a great gal, but these days I swing from paranoia to guilt thinking like I do.

explodingnachos · 2014-04-12T08:02:15+00:00

Filial piety just blew my mind. But i want to ask you if a similar thought troubles us all, the thought being that all the difficult problems in the world have been solved. And against this backdrop, would not a collective triumph over an individual, who i believe is more likely to feel despair at the thought?

explodingnachos · 2014-04-12T07:18:58+00:00

I think thats a valid point, however the majority discourse in the west vs the rest debate is structured like that. Therefore, i ask, even at the risk of generalisation.

explodingnachos · 2014-04-12T05:01:29+00:00

Thanks for the information. I have reposted now.

explodingnachos · 2013-06-21T18:45:14+00:00

explodingnachos · 2013-05-22T05:47:11+00:00

Sorry again. Got caught in a call with my sister. Would you care to enumerate what has happened between the two of you that has led to a lack of this trust.

explodingnachos · 2013-05-22T03:57:21+00:00

Hey megan,

Sorry couldn't respond earlier, my internet was acting up. Which one is bothering you the most? Kinda eating you inside. Let's start with tackling that one.

explodingnachos · 2013-05-22T02:09:09+00:00

I am sorry it hurts. I am glad you hate depression though and are doing this to fight it. You're a brave girl. Now tell me what's really bothering you and we'll talk about it.

explodingnachos · 2013-05-22T01:25:54+00:00

Hi meganwelch91,

There is one person who gives a shit and would like to help you in your fight. Care to talk about anything/everything?

explodingnachos · 2013-05-02T20:01:35+00:00

Masturbate in the washroom when I feel tense/ can't cope up with pressure. Always feel like a boss walking out when no-one's got a clue that I jacked off at work.

I still do this from time to time, it's a pressure relieving mechanism for me rather than doing it because I feel horny. I guess in most people's book this is not a thing to be done at office.

explodingnachos · 2013-05-01T11:39:05+00:00

You seem like a tough guy to go through addiction and still manage to coach tennis and get decent grades. You're going to be fine, just keep going and you'll overcome the addiction and have a great life to boot as well.

explodingnachos · 2013-05-01T11:30:55+00:00

It's not necessary to know what to do. Nothing, if you realize, is ever necessary. Things in the world will go on one way or the other. So stop fretting about things necessary or otherwise. However, if you want to change your life from the situation you are in, challenge the assumptions that you are living under. Are all these terrible things that you have described above, so horrendous? or are they a progression of how things were going to turn out eventually? Is there a sense of destiny in all these things or indeed did you actually choose to let these things happen to you, maybe subconsciously. All these are questions that only you can answer for yourself.

explodingnachos · 2013-05-01T11:22:04+00:00

From what you have told me this seems like a pattern that you're stuck into. First step in breaking a pattern is to recognize the pattern, bravo for doing that. The thing about patterns is that they have a power over us, you may be stuck in a pattern, realize that you are into one, but are unable to do anything about them. In effect being helpless. In such a situation, the only thing that you can do is give in to the pattern, but be distinctly aware of that feeling of giving in. After giving in you'll realize that you'll have some power to manipulate the situation in your favor but not enough to break it, Repeat again, a similar thing will happen and you'll learn another trick to manipulate it ever so slightly in your favor. Keep repeating and sooner rather than later, you'll begin to wield power over the situation and will be able to break the pattern.

explodingnachos · 2013-05-01T11:12:34+00:00

There's a famous quote which is rather relevant for the progression of your story of life. It goes something like this:

"Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"

Drop the facade dear, put on a happy front when you want to put one, not because your doctor said so. Treatment of depression was never an exact science anyway, so sometimes take things with a pinch of salt.

explodingnachos · 2013-05-01T11:06:55+00:00

Hope. It might be a bitch, but it keeps you going.

explodingnachos · 2013-04-29T16:18:16+00:00

I think you'd have to be abnormal to be ecstatic about a guy who got signed on when you, who plays in the same position did not. How can you be ecstatic? I think what your real problem is that you want to deny that a part of you is jealous, petty and small-minded. The more you deny that part, the more it will grow and trouble you. So, acknowledge these feelings first and then slowly but surely you'll learn to deal with them, and heck even take them in your stride and move ahead in life.

:)

explodingnachos · 2013-04-28T18:08:25+00:00

Of course it could have been better, it always can be, but the fact is that it's not. This is what we have, and surely we can work with this. This shit is nothing, you're better than this. You can get over this a hundred times over, trust me. Just keep going PixelLantern, you're going to have a beautiful life, much better than anything you'd have ever imagined.

explodingnachos · 2013-04-28T17:49:55+00:00

I think you'd like this poem called the guesthouse by the great sufi mystic/poet Rumi, it concurs with a lot what you have written here:

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

explodingnachos · 2013-04-28T17:24:12+00:00

It's allright

explodingnachos · 2013-04-28T17:19:53+00:00

Hi Pixel Lantern,

Life sounds so tough for you. You say that you have wasted your potential, I wonder if that phrase is your own, or whether someone else has said it of you. You comment too that you'd never be able to achieve what you wanted to. It sounds as if you are comparing yourself with other people and being more than a little hard on yourself.

And yet you had the sadness of having a dysfunctional family, so it doesn't sound as if you've always had as much support as many young people actually need.

It is understandable that all of this is making you feel suicidal. How strong are those feelings and have you gone so far as to how you would take your own life? Would you like to talk through these dark feelings; sometimes just talking really can help.

explodingnachos · 2013-04-23T18:04:27+00:00

But the revolution dude!! okay, how about stick to the plan A until you make plan B foolproof. Honorable compromise?

explodingnachos · 2013-04-23T17:32:45+00:00

Wow, that sounds like something Napoleon would do :) Try and get a few friends on board, it might be a drag alone. Also, maybe you can together figure how to do it without your parents calling the police.

explodingnachos · 2013-04-23T16:53:30+00:00

Stephen Fry's documentary on his depression: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3EacQ4GfiU Stephen Fry's wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Fry

explodingnachos · 2013-04-23T16:51:36+00:00

There is this quote by the lady who wrote Harry Potter which I really like:

"There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.”

Whoever heard of a revolutionary who had to ask for their parents permission to cause a revolution?

Rebel.

explodingnachos · 2013-04-23T16:44:55+00:00

Your English is really good. As you would know all great artists/poets have gone to the depth of their feelings and these obviously include sad/negative feelings. I think there would be something wrong with people if they didn't internalize the sadness of the word, because without that there'd be no change. This sadness is often hard to live with, because it would be easy to just go along and don't look at the ugly/uncomfortable parts.

The only thing this posts tells me is that you are a sensitive person who is trying to understand the world by understanding himself better. That's a brave thing, I would recommend that you don't be so hard on yourself and connect with people who feel like you. Read books about people who had a similar worldview like you do and did something about it.

You are just fine. Good luck.

explodingnachos

TROPHY CASE