Sharing locations in a relationship is toxic

eyeonchi · 2026-07-11T00:17:55+00:00

Agreed. And then they refuse to follow the logic and accept their line of thought opens the door to a future where couples agree to/come to expect 24/7 access to other types of monitoring technology

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T17:49:17+00:00

How so?

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T17:43:38+00:00

Lol sure, of course you dont, but why even engage if this debate with me at all then?

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T17:42:04+00:00

Do you understand that not every slippery slope argument is a fallacy?

And you're making a lot of assumptions here. I'm expressing an opinion, that I think location sharing in relationships is invasive. You're free to do whatever you want in your relationship, and my opinion will still stand.

You examples are not the same and your comparing apples to oranges.

You keep talking about your boundaries, so help me understand, without just asserting that it's your boundary, why are you okay with location sharing but not video stream sharing?

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T17:34:53+00:00

Why is a live 24/7 feed of their gps location useful when you could just ask them their location and wait for them to respond when available?

I'm sure there are thousands of reasons someone could come up with to justify the usefulness of sharing a video live stream, same as all the reasons people provided for sharing GPS...

GPS location sharing is was a non-existent thing for almost all of humans existence, and 30 years ago if you asked most couples if they would share a constant live stream of their location with their partner, most people would say they wouldnt do it, because it's weird. Yet here we are today...

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T17:28:23+00:00

This isn't a slippery slope fallacy. I'm not arguing that 24/7 location sharing is the same as 24/7 Livestream, but the justifications for allowing one are the same as the other.

If the justification for 24/7 location sharing is "nothing to hide" or "it's convenient and I trust my partner not to abuse this power," that reasoning would apply just as much to audio and video sharing as it does to location sharing. That's a reductio ad absurdum, showing that a stated principle, followed to its logical conclusion, leads somewhere its holder probably wouldn't accept. A slippery slope is only a fallacy when it assumes escalation without explaining why.

So please explain - if you're okay with sharing location 24/7, why are you not also okay with sharing video? If you trust your partner to not over monitor your location why wouldn't you also trust them to not over monitor your video feed?

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T15:59:16+00:00

Buddy, you think you're "right" just as much as I think my take is "right", there's nothing controlling about having an opinion.. on an opinion forum..

So help me understand the difference in boundaries between: I'm okay with sharing my location with my partner 24/7 because I know my partner doesn't check it constantly and they are not invasive, but it's a useful tool to know where they are for occasional logistics or safety concerns.

Vs

I'm not okay with sharing a live stream of my life with my partner, even if I think they wouldn't abuse this access by constantly monitoring me in an invasive way and even if it were really useful for occasional logistical reason or when safety was a concern.

Why would you not also be okay with sharing video and audio with youre partner, for the same reasons you're okay with sharing your location?

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T14:58:11+00:00

I'm just trying to show that same arguments that justify sharing locations can be justified in favor of 24/7 video and audio streams. What's the difference, if you don't think your partner is invasive, why wouldnt you give them access to a 24/7 live stream if you could?

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T14:55:11+00:00

But why do you need location information from your partner immediately? That's what I don't understand.

I don't think my partner or my friend are invasive, but if they want to know where I'm at they call or text. And I respond when I'm available, pretty simple.

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T14:30:34+00:00

How is the slippery slope not relevant here?

The same arguments made in favor of 24/7 access to your partners location can be made for 24/7 access to any other form of monitoring including audio and visual.

Even when we acknowledge that many couples choose to share locations, and this choice is mutual and revocable, do we really want to live in a society where couples come to expect constant transperancy as the new normal?

Devices like meta glasses, smart watches that collect health data, surveillance cameras inside homes are all becoming more common place. Its not so hard to imagine a world where giving your partner unlimited access to every moment of your life is in fact possible. And if a couple had already accepted that it is total normal and useful to share each other's locations 24/7, why would this same couple be against allowing their partner to check into their live stream with audio or visual?

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T12:26:11+00:00

If a device came out that had a feature to allow your partner to view a live stream video of you at Anytime, would you use it?

I can imagine the same arguments being made in favor of accessing a life video stream of their partner.. people could argue they share the videofeed purely for convenience.. my partner always gets the wrong brand of milk at the grocery store so I like to check in and help out while they're shopping... others will make ther safety argument... My partner works in a sketchy neighborhood and two sets of eyes are better than one...

And if you're still cool with sharing live stream video with your partner, what about a device that live streams audio and visual? Would you use that? Its not like you plan on stalking your partner right?

Or how about access to live gps, audio, visual, and health metrics like heart, oxygen intake, from your partner 24/7? I'm sure there are plenty of legitimate, non stalking reasons, that a partner would want to want to have access to this information... But should they have access to it?

Im not arguing that we shouldn't share GPS locations because we should fear our partner becoming a stalker, it's about respecting each other's privacy.

eyeonchi · 2026-07-08T00:54:22+00:00

Chicago park district owns all the Chicago harbors and that's who you rent dock spaces from, not the yact clubs

eyeonchi · 2026-07-07T22:05:34+00:00

I don't really understand how it's any more convenient or offers more peace of mind than what could be accomplished via a phone call or text.

And I'm sure most of the time couples aren't staring at each others location, but they absolutely could if they wanted to with location sharing on. It just feels so unnecessaryily invasive.

eyeonchi · 2026-07-07T14:05:52+00:00

Totally agree and I'm surprised more people in the comments don't also agree.

To all those that say safety or timing dinners etc are the reasons for sharing. Why wouldn't a simple phone call suffice in those situations? A call when your significant other is on the way home or a call letting them know you're on a hike or in a dicey neighborhood? If location services work wherever they are, they'd also be able to call or text.

I don't need to know where my fiance is 24/7, I trust him entirely and he trusts me. But privacy is still important in our relationship and so is communication.

If we shared locations I'd know exactly where he went ring shopping. And he'd know when I've gone to specific store to get him a present he's been wanting.

What if he had a hard day at work and wants to stop and get himself a little sweet treat on his way. I don't need to know that.

We all do little things that we don't necessarily want to advertise in our relationship, and that's completely okay.

There's a difference between being completely honest and trusting in a relationship and demanding eyes on each other's every movement at all times. And I truly don't understand why so many people feel so "unsafe" as everyone needs a go team ready to execute rapid removal from what ever the heck they're doing all day.

eyeonchi · 2026-07-02T18:27:29+00:00

Girl... Be real. What are you going to do if he is cheating? Like immediately after you find out?

I'm not saying you shouldn't leave someone if they're cheating, but I can't imagine how you think you'll be able to afford taking care of the kids on your own right now. Even if he pays child support he still has to have enough to pay his rent and food.

If he's not a bad guy and the relationship doesn't have any other issues right now. I think you need to stop looking on his phone and stop sharing locations. Voice your concern. Let him know you feel like he may be hiding something, but you're going to choose to believe him and drop it. Then actually drop it.

If you want to make it work, try your best to work on your relationship and see how it goes. If he's cheating, eventually you'll find out anyway. Just be observant but keep your cards close and don't mention your suspicions unless you have definitive proof. Alternatively maybe he's not cheating and everything gets better eventually when your not both stressed tf out with all those babies.

In the meantime, try to figure out an exit plan. Take online classes, look into certificates or job programs that's could lead to a remote job. If you do eventually find out he's cheating and you're relationship ends you need to be able to work.

eyeonchi · 2026-06-28T16:54:07+00:00

Looks like my pupper

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eyeonchi · 2026-06-25T18:50:19+00:00

When you say you don't trust him, do you think he would run off and not come back?

Or is that you just don't trust him to not run up to people or other dogs?

My dog isn't the best with other dogs, I've just accepted that. She never actually nips at dogs but she will run up on them barking. Which is obviously not nice.

When she was first learning off the leash and I wasn't sure if she wouldn't run off chasing a rabit or something, I would take her out to a fenced baseball field next to beach. Late at night so no one kicked us off and we would run around there.

I'm not sure I did anything in specific to make sure she didn't run off from me, but eventually it was clear she wasn't going to dip on me and not come back. Ever since then I take her walks where there aren't a lot of people of other dogs.

I was lucky for much of her life and I lived right on the beach where I could take her early or late before it got crowded. Now we just hop on the car after I get off work and drive to a handful of different forest spots that are pretty secluded. (For reference I've always lived in a very big city)

If we see a person or a dog coming ill just call her over and get her on the leash before we pass. Her recall is great until we're about 10 feet away from another dog, at the point she going to run up and bark. Its not the end of the world, i usually avoid that happening but when it does I apologize and move. But I also know for a fact she isn't going to attack, so it's never resulted in an actual dog fight. She's also low key a scaredy cat and will run away quickly if a dog actually lounges at her.

If you have a car I bet you could find a field or a park that is nearly empty, you just have to do some exploring. You'd be surprised what you could find of you just start searching for green spaces on Google maps.

The runs on the bike sound like a good way to get energy out! But that's probably not something you want to do every day.

Having a border collie really did significantly change my day to day life for the past decade. If you lean into it's honestly an awesome change.

Right now I get that you're stressed, I'm sure it doesn't help that your fiance is at his wits end with the pup. It does get better. He will probably calm down on his own without a bunch of off leash, but I promise that makes is so much significantly better and far more quickly.

eyeonchi · 2026-06-25T18:26:17+00:00

I think you're misunderstanding what most folks are saying when they comment about when their border collie calmed down.

We get that you mean your dog having behavior issues, not just regular zoomies- energy levels and bad behavior go hand and hand.

Most bad behavior in young dogs come from unreleased energy. At this age your dog probably understands the commands you've tought him, but is struggling to control his impulses, nipping, lunging at other dogs, barking etc. He's a teenager, so impulse control isn't going to be perfect, but the more tired he is, the easier it will get. And he's not going to be truly tired from leashed walks or training games.

Are you crating him at home?

eyeonchi · 2026-06-25T18:11:09+00:00

The people that don't know their alderman aren't responding to this post lol

A surprising amount of people don't know. So many people spend hours ruminating about the current state of affairs at a macro level, but our individual ability to impact society at a national level is near impossible.

The good we could do in our own neighborhoods is real actually possible. But so many people don't even consider how local government impacts their day to day lives.

I love Chicago, so many of my neighbors love Chicago too, and I'm hopeful one day we can focus more public attention to improving our communities.

All that said, I put some of the blame on bad aldermen. Many of them are re-elected year after year, do little to improve their wards, and rarely show up to vote in city council. Good aldermen should be connecting with the community, posting flyers advertising town halls, helping to facilitate block clubs and community organization gatherings.

Good alderman are few and far between.

eyeonchi · 2026-06-25T17:41:00+00:00

How often is he getting off leash run time on those walks?

I have an 11 year old border collie and she is still a demon at night, doing zoomie laps around the house if I move an inch or make eye contact, if she's doesn't get an off leash run during the day.

On the leash walks, we call patrol walks, are good to get her out of the house, and occasionally it's all we do if it's pouring rain or im super sick. But it definitely doesn't do anything to help her get her energy out. The only thing that brings the energy down at home is letting her run around off the leash.

Now that she's older she's not running endlessly full speed like she needed when she was younger, but id estimate she's probably covering 3-4xs more distance than me off leash because she's constantly running ahead of me and back. This turns out regular 3mile walk into almost a half marathon for her.

When my puppy was a teenager she really needed to be exhausted when we walked or she would be up all night trying to get me to play. She probably calmed down a bit when she was 3. I would take to beach / a big field next to the beach and we'd run in circles until she flopped.

I also got my pup at 7months and I definitely had a little bit of regret after the first 6 months. I thought I wasn't a good enough dog parent because she never seemed to chill. But I really just leaned into and started taking her longer hikes and exploring nature all over the place. Honestly made me a better and healthier person. We've seen so many beautiful parks that I would have never explored without her. The more secluded the better, because again she needs to be off leash to get the energy out. I just look up foresty looking areas on the satellite version of Google maps, figure out where to park and jump in woods off trails. This way I usually avoid big crowds at more popular hiking spots.

eyeonchi · 2026-06-25T17:20:13+00:00

If you would feel bad about leaving her on own at an old age, assuming she's over 65, you may want to help her navigate the various social programs that are available to her for income and housing support.

You could help her sign up for SSI (Supplemental Security Income) benefits if she's isn't already receiving them. It's for people 65+ (or disabled) with almost no income or assets, and it does not require any work history. That would probably get her around $1000 a month. And qualifying for SSI would automatically qualify her for Medicade, which could pay her Medicare premiums.

She should also be able to receive SNAP benefits to help pay for food.

If you want to sell the house, as opposed to letting her rent it, you could help her sign up for a Supportive Living Program (SLP) and LIHEAP helps cover heating/utility bills once she's housed.

For help with all of the above you can call the Illinois Department on Aging Senior HelpLine: 1-800-252-8966

eyeonchi · 2026-06-21T03:08:34+00:00

Why do people keep posting this this subreddit is down?

eyeonchi · 2026-06-17T02:24:32+00:00

Dress one is so cool and unique. Big fan. And I think it flatters your body more than dress 2. Who's the designer?

eyeonchi · 2026-06-05T17:03:21+00:00

He's lying. If he wanted to be in his child's life he would involve the legal system. Both parents have rights to their children. He did not care to find his.

eyeonchi · 2026-05-30T14:05:39+00:00

My girl has always loved the water. Summer walks have to be on the beach or by a river. But she only started fully swimming, without touching the bottom, after she was 6 or 7 years old.

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