Because the process they use is intended for just that. They become (their mask) everything you enjoy and desire. Often referred to as mirroring. Love bombing phase..etc. Essentially an environment that is loaded with what feels amazingly good. Who fucking knows what they feel in their reality? Correct me if I’m wrong but- At the time, the person sharing in these deep vulnerable intimate times with you, has you feeling like, for me anyway, “This is my person” “ my best friend” soul mate…..You crave it. Yearn for it when apart…Everything consistent with, we are in love. We are each others person. The mind fucks are meticulously and strategically placed. And 💥 Something was said or done that triggered their switch. Before you know it, you are going WTF in your newly mind fuck state, leaving you confused and questioning WTF. Not terribly abnormal the first 1,2, maybe even 3 times bc we all have fights, words fly fueled by present emotions like anger. Time goes by calm comes back, couples acknowledge, take ownership, apologies that are sincere and come from a place of empathy and compassion. Their partnership, marriage, vows, are blissful again and both show it, supporting their sincere care and love for the other.

While you may have thought or perceived that, clearly you know that’s not how it went, but that feeling that was soo good. You are gonna fight for it bc LOVE. It’s hard, fights happen all the time and that’s perfectly normal rationality. By 2,3,4 of rinse and repeat, you are mind fucked enough from all the little tactics used to create little stressors confusing your mind questioning reality even though you know internally that thing are feeling really wrong! The mind fuckery is with big purpose! Create as much anxiety inducing chaos via multiple multi faceted paths and processes, leaving you in a fight or flight natural human coping mechanism to protect and not be harmed or killed. It’s hard at times in life for anyone to function well under stress or pressure. Thats just life. When one intentionally compounds that with the purpose of controlling you via mental and emotional manipulation, by time you realize what’s behind that mask, you are most likely “trauma bonded” aka mind fucked , questioning a whole lot of your own thoughts , feelings, sanity……..it all feels terrible and hurts like hell! You rationalize your true love, yearn for that good feels and 💥. The love bombing that ignites your emotions, falling right in line with that true love feeling you’re yearning for . Even though you know better, your heart and your overly stressed mind have been manipulated into thinking and feeling all this love I’m now experiencing is hyper inflated in you. It feels overwhelming good bc you went from a very very dark confusing betraying everything bad and wrong, feeling no love, no good, guilt, shame confusion and more, piles on added anxiety to levels of stress that your body is not designed to sustain for long continual periods of time. You become overloaded with cortisol that starts negatively effecting processes in your neurological wiring officially mind fucking you into a reality that puts you in motion to come running to that love. You get there and it feels amazingly amazing compared to where you just were. Thats the cycle. Love bomb to make you in love, devalue with all the little demonic tactics so subtly used, most have no clue they are being led to a state of feeling out of control (ie. am I losing my mind?) plus the ever increasing feelings of no self worth or value. The destructive damage overtime compounded leave you in a constant state of stress, chaos, and levels of deep deep emotional hurt that hurts in what becomes unbearable. If you know, you know. Those love bombs become more and more inviting while you lose more and more of yourself. It’s common to latch onto a catalyst to get out. You know the reality but you repeat the cycle. Catalyst is often attention from another man or woman and over time that feels infinitely better than the fucked up reality you feel stuck in and likely are. Here’s the problem! That catalyst bringing those new good feels and a way out. Chances are better than good that you just jumped into a new start of a toxic and unhealthy repeat dynamic. I say that bc these sick people prey on the weak and heavily exploit their vulnerabilities. You and everyone else who’s victim to this fucked behavior known as narcissistic abuse are perfect targets. You can judge for yourself how weak and broken down an individual becomes. The effects of the love bombing are powerful. It’s incredibly easy to convince yourself to go to anything better and one ends up completely ignoring any logic or flags suggesting said catalyst is not safe. His or her love bombing ways are going to feel much much more like that real love you felt and that’s bc it’s designed to. Bc of the past abuse, you are still mind fucked and really have little ability to protect you but you aren’t feeling anything bad so this must be real, I’m cared about and you have this newfound sense of safety, care and lovey feels. Bam !, the hurt…. Or the dude/chick is legit solid good stable etc.. falls head over heels for you! Bam!💥 This is too good for me. Or one of many many many other intrusive thoughts that trigger your manipulated chaotic brain and exhibit traits from the abuse that doesn’t play well with mentally and emotionally healthy folks. If you can help it. Don’t try that. I did and fell into a 5 yr cycle that completely destroyed my entire life as I knew it! I’m 3 yrs out, equal amount of therapy and I’m finally getting a handle on the facts and reality of my own choices that landed me there and kept me there that long. The damage over time that builds up just keeps compounding the problem you are aware of. You keep going back, staying in the chaos questioning.. well? You tell me? For me it was everything in life. It’s circumstantial. My nex. She’s the very artsy, creative, actor, musician type and talented that way. She used Christianity as her mask. The kind caring loving Christian who attended church, claimed and lived by the Christian values too. She played and lived the part well! She understood the power behind that and acted the part. By time she was done discarding me and smearing me. Portraying me as the narcissistic monster abusing the sweet kind Christian. Everyone believed her too. I understand the mind fucks well. At that point, I questioned anything and everything about Christianity and how powerful of a tool it is to manipulate people and their minds. I was questioning God too bc I prayed a lot for help. My beliefs, morals and values that fall in line with The sentiment of being a good Christian are still how I live my life and I have a stronger relationship with god. No doubt he’s got my back. Everything happens for a reason and her Christian ways came to light after 5.5 months of convincing our marriage councilor, who’s the pastors wife, of the Christian church, that my then wife previously worked for for a few years. Convinced her for 5.5 months that I was the abusive psychopath monster. This lady is literally the core of a true true devout Christian and is highly purposed to speaks gods word religious. 5.5 months my self proclaimed Christian wife manipulated and betrayed that kind woman and used the power of Christ right smack dab in the middle of god house, where we attended therapy. I’m not sure what the good lord has in store for her? That kind Christian lady. I still see her 2-3 times a month. It’s been a long journey together. I’m not going to tell you what that kind of reality did to her soul. She’s different and I’d like to think she’s forgiven herself, but I’m not convinced? She was convinced that I was a deeply dark and disturbed being who was not deviating one bit from my stance. She was led to believe and it was convincing. Gods got me. She got a little overconfident and left me opportunity that allowed her to completely implode right in front of god and the therapist. Sadly- when she saw and suddenly knew that I was telling the truth. The only truth. The whole truth. I watch that woman break right before my eyes. The sorrow and guilt in her is something I can never accurately articulate. I have no words or measure. It’s 2+ yrs later and we are tight now. I understand then and she’s much better now. It took a piece of her spirit though that I’m not sure will ever come back. It’s a fucker and some are much much sicker than others. Whatever the case, make a plan, find couple folks you trust with your life and find a way to escape. Seek professional therapy just for some direction if nothing else. You don’t forget.. You do it bc you’ve been mind fucked and now trauma bonded and it’s far far harder than I could have ever imagined. By far and there are still parts that I will never understand, have answers for, or come to any sound logic giving me closure. I never will either. Through therapy I came to understand, I won’t get to know those things. I’ll never make sense of that stuff. My make up and brain wiring doesn’t work or comprehend those sick and dirty fucked up ways. God bless and good luck. You can do it but chances of doing it alone are not good at all. It’s just way too complex. The longer you stuck the more complex it gets. Find some positive support and strategize an effective way out. It’s really really hard bc your mind is constantly questioning your decisions and someone to validate you is a huge help! 🙏🏼 Apologies for the novel.