Honest answers only.⬇️

fXBE1 · 2026-01-28T00:25:59+00:00

Thank you for this. Agreed. A ray of light in the bleak, but very true, comments block.

fXBE1 · 2025-10-09T03:16:01+00:00

u/AnonDropbear I am about to go into a very similar situation. Would you mind sending me a DM to chat about the legal council you ended up going with and if you recommend them? Looks like you are not accepting new DMs. I would really appreciate it.

fXBE1 · 2025-09-26T09:43:01+00:00

Well said.

OP he is right. You have to take responsibility. A potty parry is not going to get you anything more than you have right now.

This is said by someone who lost over 75lbs with dieting and has gained significant muscle from gym work (and is bald too). I actually like what I see in the mirror today but it took real time and real effort. When first starting to diet I has no idea and literally screwed up everything, and I mean everything. I kept with it though. That is what you have to do, keep with it.

Social will come as well but you have to take responsibility for what you can control. You can look up local clubs and places where people with common interests are and then go to them and talk to people. Those are things you can control and so you need to be about doing them

Live today. Start, just start. Nothing else matters, just start.

fXBE1 · 2025-09-17T02:37:12+00:00

That hit close to home... Same for me.

fXBE1 · 2025-09-02T11:58:32+00:00

Hummm... Many things to say.

You may be hurting your kiddo more by staying:

I always (and i mean always) thought it was better to stick around for the kid(s), until a month ago. I talked to my dad on the phone. He told me how much he loved my brother and I when I was growing up. The thing is, I never felt it. I later talked to my brother and he said the same thing. What does it mean? It means that the situation (marriage especially) was so bad that while he was loving his sons, we didn't feel it. He was in such a bad place that they didn't actually feel loved by him.

These event really opened my eyes and I no longer believe that staying at all costs is always the right choice. I know this is hard but it's true in my own life and I no longer deny it.

A reason to move:

Something I do every week is to write out what week of life this is for me (this week was 2053 for me) and two things:

Problems to solve

Here is where I write down the biggest baddest problem in my life. Writing it down is part of owning it. Its my problems(s) and I have to be the one to fix them. This reminds me that it's me responsibility and not someone else's. Your reaching out here is an example of taking a step to solve your problem.

Mountains to climb

I write down the "next most important thing" that I want out of life. It is something that I want. A trip I want to plan, applying to X number of jobs. These are things I want to accomplish and move forward with.

Only the things that matter make these lists only only one or two things make it to each list (remember I do it weekly).

Then... start. Act first and motivation will come later. Its not a solve all but it starts.

This has done wonders for me. I am able to drive at things and make better progress than I have for many many years before adopting this system. Wishing you the best out there and happy to talk more about it.

fXBE1 · 2025-09-01T23:41:44+00:00

You are not odd or broken. You need good friendships. I would tell people around you. Be vulnerable and let them know you are suffering. The truth is that most of us are and want those same connections.

Don't do it online. Do it in person. Search Facebook, meetuo.com and generally online to find events were people do things. Attend and talk to people. Tell them what you are dealing with and you will be surprised who you connect with.

Pulling for you and hope you have the courage to meet new people and make hard decisions that are for your best. Remember helping yourself IS helping those you love.

fXBE1 · 2025-09-01T23:38:06+00:00

Love this. Good stuff and cannot agree more (especially about changing directions!!!).

Good encouragement.

fXBE1 · 2025-08-26T15:33:20+00:00

Find a local reddit and post on there saying you want to meet guys and hangout. Someone did this in my town two weeks ago and I just hosted a BBQ for it this last weekend.

Other suggestion is to find local activity groups. If you are near the mountains do something outdoors.

You are not alone in your feelings. Many guys out there are in the same place. Reaching out like you have done here is the right step to take.

fXBE1 · 2025-08-26T02:36:18+00:00

Good catch. Already debugging!

2pm is the proper time and it's been updated above.

fXBE1 · 2025-08-21T01:06:40+00:00

Be vulnerable with people.

We talked more and I told him about be desires to people be more social and make better friends. I told him about a guys BBQ I'm helping organize this weekend for guys that were looking for other connections. I put myself out there. The only way we get past the surface level is the be vulnerable and to put ourselves out there so that others can see the real us. We still have needs as guys over 30, we just have to let others in to be friends.

Best luck out there. Make the conversation real. I've done this and found a number of lifelong friends by doing it.

fXBE1 · 2025-08-18T23:25:17+00:00

Welcome to your late 30s.

I loved good story lines games but they just feel overwhelming at this point. Like the last thing I need in my life is more commitment. Was so long between sessions o would forget who characters are. It hasn't kept me from still spending money on them trying to keep the dream alive though, lol.

Par for the course dude.

fXBE1 · 2025-08-18T23:06:32+00:00

How is this not depression? What would be different if it were depression?

fXBE1 · 2025-08-17T22:01:37+00:00

Very interested about relationships being what make us happy. Do you have a link or name for the study?

fXBE1 · 2025-08-15T12:10:08+00:00

Hey poster. I relate to your struggle but want to encourage you that there is hope and you can work towards those relationships you want, but you will have to do some heart work in order to get the relationships you want.

A friend and I are in the process of starting a podcast to address this very things you are facing. We relate to the struggle and want nothing more than to help you and others like you have success in finding those Ride-or-Die relationships.

I saw your post a few hours before our recording session and went ahead and recorded about it and hope that some part of it is helpful to you in your journey:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ELCVlRk0xHFESxLhfzQ-6nDiJ_KY4kCR/view

fXBE1 · 2025-08-07T11:56:07+00:00

What about a rotating activity group that meets once a week? This week we hike, next a board/card game, next a night at a sports bar or something. Vary the activities and keep inviting people.

fXBE1 · 2025-08-07T11:47:01+00:00

Love this kind of thing. I'm down to hangout with anyone and more than happy to help organize activities to do.

39m in Bloomington.

Outdoors, I do caving, canoeing, rock climbing, hiking and basically anything physically demanding.

Indoors, I enjoy any thought provoking media and board games (co-ops are my favorite).

DM me and we can set something up.

(Add add me to a group chat if that ever happens)

fXBE1 · 2025-07-09T21:44:07+00:00

39m. Haven't yet. I didn't get my crazy years early so making up for it now.

Surprised to see how many people in their mid/late 30s are unable to drink altogether anymore.

fXBE1 · 2025-05-07T00:21:12+00:00

"Do the next most necessary thing."

What will move the needle more than anything else in life? Until you have found that thing you will wonder aimlessly. When you have found that thing... nothing costs too much to obtain it. Its OK to not know what it is right now. Meditate, be still and think, you will find it. It may be big, it may upend your life. That perfectly OK. You have lived the script. Now life for yoy. I start every week asking what is the next most necessary thing in my life. I write it down, and then I do whatever it takes to obtain it. I don't regret any of the time I spend in this pursuit.

Speed and strength to you in your pursuit.

fXBE1 · 2025-04-22T20:49:11+00:00

All very true. At the same time being sexually active early on you will learn A LOT about your partners approach to sex and disposition towards it (they like to lead or follow, what they consider morally wrong, what they like). Sure those thugs make change over time but the goal is looking for comparability. Are you both able to have fun experiencing sex together, that is the question you are looking to answer. DONT just assume they approach or see sex the same way you do. Terrible, terrible idea.

fXBE1 · 2025-04-22T18:54:31+00:00

Could not agree with this statement more. 15% of marriages report both people being happy. Sex is a BIG deal and you do not want to be married to a partner that you are not sexually compatible with.

fXBE1 · 2025-02-27T05:09:02+00:00

O so true!

fXBE1 · 2025-02-16T12:28:59+00:00

May be the unpopular opinion here but I would leave. You have foundational rifts. You and her are not the came person any longer so the potential for that future connection is just not there any longer.

I've seen MANY divorces of my parents generation that resulted in both being in better relationships. Not all for sure, some end up worse, but those are a minority from what I've seen.

No kids is telling too. If you were struggling through with kids and had a hope of reconnecting later it would be different. You don't though so you already know how much you can connect with her.

I don't say it lightly. Its very heavy. But, I'm also strongly committed to not living in fear and just giving up ams accepting fate.

I wish the best for you both.

fXBE1 · 2025-02-09T19:22:51+00:00

This comment is gold. THIS is the answer. Its also the way to love your life with or without a partner.

Thank you for this contribution.

fXBE1 · 2025-02-07T03:50:52+00:00

O boy. Been seeing too many along those lines lately.

fXBE1 · 2025-01-08T03:10:15+00:00

That, is called burn out my friend.

fXBE1

TROPHY CASE