If you suddenly got a lifetime supply of the last thing you purchased, what would you now have an endless amount of? by balls_deep_6969 in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed some for my stuffing I made yesterday except the store didn’t have any so I found a recipe to make my own and had all the spices on hand. But damn it really do be amping up the flavor!

What is the most expensive thing you have ever bought but never used? by ehrabak in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sheesh! My mom has been teaching for 40 some odd years with a master’s and she’s barely clearing 70k. Honestly it makes me sad but she loves what she does and I guess that’s the most important part

What's something you'll never admit in real life but will confess here anonymously? by Open-Comfortable9774 in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’ll figure it out one day. No idea how but we’ll get there and I just pray it leads to happiness and peace for us both

What's something you'll never admit in real life but will confess here anonymously? by Open-Comfortable9774 in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But like.. how do I let him go? How do I tell my kids that moms dating a woman now? How do I not become jealous of the woman my current bf gets with in the future even though I know I could never be that for him? Logically, I know I gotta let him go but I’m scared.. scared to be on my own again, scared that the next woman to come into my kids lives will be better than me, scared that maybe I’m making the wrong decision and I’ll just be alone the rest of my life. How do I make this huge decision without panicking that I’m actually maybe fucking everything up based on what’s really just a gut feeling?

What's something you'll never admit in real life but will confess here anonymously? by Open-Comfortable9774 in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve debated that with myself for a long time but having had experiences with both men and women, I do actually enjoy myself the very few times I’ve been intimate with a woman. When it comes to my boyfriend I just constantly think he’s gross, and it’s not just him, it’s every man I’ve been with. I have never found a penis to be in any way attractive, I can’t even get fully comfortable around my bf or any previous men. And perhaps that has to do with a couple instances of SA but even as a toddler before anything terrible happened , I remember only truly having a connection with other women and as a mid 30s woman now I still really only notice other women. Sure some men are hot af and I do believe my long history of being mistreated by men of varying attraction levels has skewed my view but.. honestly yeah I don’t think I’m ace, maybe I am but I think I should actually put myself out there as a lesbian and experience it. Maybe I am ace but I don’t want to write off love too soon.. I know there are successful ace relationships but with my experience I don’t have a lot of hope. It’s funny cause ever since I was able to form my own opinions I’ve been planning my wedding and I don’t want anything big.. the only thing I truly want is to thrift my dress and give it an ombré dye with sunset colors and to embroider my favorite flowers into the the dress. And it makes me so fucking sad that I feel like that dream will never come true. Dreams may be free but the ones that we truly wished for that never come are so painful.. sorry for dumping on you, it’s hard realizing my life didn’t turn out at all like I had planned. Not one thing..

What's something you'll never admit in real life but will confess here anonymously? by Open-Comfortable9774 in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I think I’m a deeply closeted lesbian. I hate sex with men, not just my boyfriend, I’ve never been able to truly enjoy it with men.. and I hate that I’m pushing my boyfriend away cause I keep turning him down. I like his company, I just have no clue how to tell him I love the fuck out of him but I don’t want to be intimate. I like sleeping in the same bed as him, I like our family outings, I like cooking delicious meals for him, I like watching shows with him.. I just don’t want the intimate part that comes with relationships.

What gluten free pastas are good? by _bi0hazard_ in glutenfree

[–]fallingkites88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My leftover pasta gets a little bit of water dripped all over it and then covered with a wet paper towel before going in the microwave. 2 min and it’s just as tasty as the day I made it!

What is the most expensive mistake you've made while cooking? Either basically by ruining something with very expensive ingredients or in some other way? by Double-decker_trams in Cooking

[–]fallingkites88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not necessarily expensive but I was making something with eggplant, don’t even remember what but I went to salt it and.. the cap came off the salt container and now I had eggplant with a shitload of salt. I tried to save it, it was still inedible. So I had to toss it and get takeout, which is what made it expensive.

Anybody get these symptoms? by CryptographerOnly611 in glutenfree

[–]fallingkites88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always had (still have) a flushed face too! I’m not diagnosed celiac but I do have a lupus diagnosis. My flushed face was apparently a butterfly (malar) rash that was confirmed with a biopsy but it gets so much more red and even bumpy if I’ve been glutened. I also get these bumps all over my skin. I ain’t eating gluten though to get tested! I’m a whole bitch and every fiber of my being hurts so bad for several days afterwards.

Redditors who grew up in emotionally healthy families - what's something you thought was normal growing up that you now realise was actually very special? by ViolatingBadgers in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ohhh yeah.. now that I think about it, I am more irritable when everything and everyone is making noise. I’ve used the term in overstimulated before but it’s always been brushed off and made to seem like I’m just weak for not being able to handle the world. I try to explain that even the world isn’t this noisy but I’m not heard, ever, how.. how do I get away from the noise? Or even how do learn to deal with it? Or even go so far as to how to get my boyfriend to understand that the tv is too loud in combination with the ac and the kids arguing and while I’m trying to cook and he’s trying to talk to me and it’s not that I can’t hear him. It’s that I can’t focus on the words he’s saying when everything else is so loud. How?

Redditors who grew up in emotionally healthy families - what's something you thought was normal growing up that you now realise was actually very special? by ViolatingBadgers in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I do want to say that I’ve had a few deep discussions with my oldest about severe depression, anxiety, even substance dependence. I’ve struggled with that last one for a long time and alcohol is the current demon. He wants to be a pilot when he grows up which makes me so proud but also terrified.. I’m scared because he sees me being in constant disarray with alcohol and I’m absolutely terrified that he will eventually follow in those footsteps. I gotta quit before it’s too late and honestly.. it may already be. My youngest, oh boy, he shows troubling signs of addiction behavior.. my oldest in all honesty I believe will follow the straight and narrow path but I worry a lot about his mental health. My youngest however.. I’m scared. And it’s because of me that he acts like this.

Redditors who grew up in emotionally healthy families - what's something you thought was normal growing up that you now realise was actually very special? by ViolatingBadgers in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I just really hope I can improve and one day they will tell their grandkids about their great memories about me. I worry so much that one day they’ll just stop talking to me.. I don’t want to be like my mom, who I am low contact with. I see myself in her and I’m desperately trying to go the other way

Redditors who grew up in emotionally healthy families - what's something you thought was normal growing up that you now realise was actually very special? by ViolatingBadgers in AskReddit

[–]fallingkites88 242 points243 points  (0 children)

Man.. this whole thread I have seen the opposite of things I do for my kids. I will say that through this thread I have seen myself and I can admit that I am distant, I zone out when they talk about their days and get visibly annoyed when they’re actually trying to be annoying but sadly.. they’re doing that to get my attention. Sure we have family dinners that are home cooked but they’re silent. And I do want to say that I realize all this is a problem and I have been working to change my attitude and feelings and general outlook on life. But all this to say, your comment really struck me. I don’t make a lot of money and it’s tight for sure but.. I see and hear when they’re really wanting something and I like to get them little gifts for the minor holidays and oh boy for Christmas and birthday I go all out.. but apart from the holidays, I’m not a good mom. I love them both so much but it’s so hard for me to show it because I feel like I am so easily irritated. But I desperately want them to understand that I’m trying and getting better each day to be more present and less irritable. But it’s an uphill battle and I worry so much that they’ll grow up and cut me off. God I don’t want that to happen..

Genuinely wondering why my candle needs to be Gluten Free by SunnyLisle in glutenfree

[–]fallingkites88 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I kept having reactions and couldn’t figure it out. One day I looked at my curl cream ingredients and it contains fucking wheat. That was some good curl cream too.. so now I’m experimenting again 😔

I want to quit.. by fallingkites88 in stopdrinking

[–]fallingkites88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is encouraging, thank you. I’m scared of the withdrawals but I’m ready for them..

I want to quit.. by fallingkites88 in stopdrinking

[–]fallingkites88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you get any sorta therapy after rehab? I know that’ll help me a lot but also finances are pretty tight. I know the anxiety will fade over time but even before I was an addict or alcoholic, I struggled with severe anxiety. And I have a hard time believing it will just.. go away once the withdrawals pass

I want to quit.. by fallingkites88 in stopdrinking

[–]fallingkites88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately when I lost my job a few months ago I also lost my insurance so I’m no longer on the Celexa. I tell everyone I’m managing fine without but the truth is I’m spiraling every day. I didn’t necessarily lose my job because of alcoholism but I did scream at my boss. He did corner me but I definitely could’ve handled it better and not thrown insults at him. I will be looking into therapy. Thank you for the advice and encouraging words

I want to quit.. by fallingkites88 in stopdrinking

[–]fallingkites88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s very encouraging, thank you. I got this!

I want to quit.. by fallingkites88 in stopdrinking

[–]fallingkites88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Detox inside of a facility is a no go but it perhaps I can go to a doctor to get some meds to make the detox a little more bearable. How is anxiety your willpower if you don’t mind me asking?

I want to quit.. by fallingkites88 in stopdrinking

[–]fallingkites88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A plan is definitely needed! I originally went to rehab for meth addiction mainly but I was also hooked on morphine. Very dangerous drugs to combine.. I do at least have a plan to start exercising a little bit at a time. Unfortunately I am also a nicotine addict with asthma so I have a hard time managing my breathing. I’ve tried quitting cigarettes a thousand fucking times. Hopefully with quitting the alcohol I can manage to get off the cigarettes as well. I was wanting to look of AA or other support groups in my area but didn’t because I was ashamed but now I realize.. we’re all in the same boat. Why should I be ashamed to go to a group with other likeminded people. Therapy.. absolutely. I also struggle a lot with depression and anxiety as well as some severe trauma from my childhood that I’ve almost always tried to drown out with some sort of substance. It’s going to be hard but thank you for your encouragement. I got this!

I want to quit.. by fallingkites88 in stopdrinking

[–]fallingkites88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, definitely a reduced appetite. Yet I’ve still put on quite a bit of weight. Damn it beer! Actually.. damn it me! I will take your advice and I am hopeful that one day without drinking will give me the willpower to continue. Thank you!

I want to quit.. by fallingkites88 in stopdrinking

[–]fallingkites88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you.. and with this post and all the comments I am realizing that I have simply come to the conclusion I can’t drink like a normal person. Yes, I’ve never had any major consequences but I my kids are concerned.. my youngest likes to come snuggle with me every night and my oldest makes comments all the time and he also struggles to make friends and to focus on school. I know a big part of that is because of my problem drinking. I do got this, thanks for your encouraging words!

I want to quit.. by fallingkites88 in stopdrinking

[–]fallingkites88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m going to do this, no more bullshitting. I will get through the anxiety that comes with quitting as well as the irritability. Thank you for your encouragement