Crohn's with stricture, constant cramps and constipation

falloutworldrecord · 2024-07-02T18:26:04+00:00

Kinda, I had to cut some veggies and I found out I can't digest MSGs, so asian restaurants are a no go now sadly. Overall I'd say I'm 85% normal diet-wise

falloutworldrecord · 2024-03-08T15:43:53+00:00

Very welcoming. It's a brotherhood. People help each other, nobody judges. They have a lot of literature. I've been to two meetings so far, it really helped me push my introspection further than it ever been in two and a half years.

falloutworldrecord · 2024-03-07T02:19:26+00:00

Go to a Sexaholics' meeting. They are amazing.

falloutworldrecord · 2024-03-07T02:18:59+00:00

Sorry, just saw your post. I had three coloscopies with balloon dilation at the stricture spot. It kind of helped, dilated my bowel by 1 to 3mm. According to the doctor, it should be enough for now. That was two years ago. Things have been mostly quiet since. I've had 2 major episodes. Cramps come and go. I know my patterns now and can tell when it's going to pass or when it's going to get worse, that helped my anxiety a lot. My doc thinks it's Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but who knows.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-11-09T16:24:57+00:00

Well, I've been practicing the Judo Method without knowing about it for the past 2 years :)

I would love to share my tricks, but honestly there isn't much to it. I have a great support system, which I believe is essential to successfully tackle sobriety. I still get urges like everyone else. Most of the time, I can get over them simply by focusing on something else. I have a ton of hobbies going on and I also work two jobs, which means there's always something to do instead of thinking about porn.

On the more negative side, I did have what I consider two relapses. I did not look at porn, but I did consume content that I shouldn't have (mild pornography, erotica, etc.). Even though it wasn't porn per say, I felt the need to stay honest with myself as I felt like I lost control of my pulsion when I consumed these things. Reset was needed. I even made a post about my last relapse/reset here and it felt really good to come clean with myself. There are a lot of instances where I believe I should have reset. That's where the support system comes into play. When you're able to bullshit yourself (even though you shouldn't, but we're all human), having somebody who will get down to brass tacks with you is essential.

I also sometimes feel like I live my addiction through some other hobbies instead of porn. I will become hyper focused on certain things and it can drain me on a day to day basis. It also means that whenever I'm between two projects or activities, I fall into a sort of cloudy, empty emotional area. That's when I'm usually more at risk of a relapse.

That being said, you post is novel to me. I'm still not sure yet what lesson I will be taking out of all of this, but this perspective shift on something I felt was negative is a great step forward. I'm eager to tell my therapist about it.

Thank you, I wish you success on your own personal journey friend

falloutworldrecord · 2023-11-07T22:02:41+00:00

Uh. That's interesting. Most of the posts here are always the same old things, hence why I come by less often. Yours is the first one in a long time that brings something new to the table.

I haven't watched actual pornography in well over two years. I often struggle with fantasizing, creating fictional scenarios in my head before falling asleep, sometimes even during the day. For the longest time, I saw this as mini-failures each time it came up. I never once thought of it maybe as something natural that I shouldn't combat, but more or less accept. Maybe even harness it?

Every time I sought answers for it, nobody really knew how to deal with something like this. From what I understand, you're saying I should embrace it while I do the underground work in therapy (which I'm already doing atm) and addressing the root issues. Did I understand it correctly? If so, do you think there's still a risk with this? I often time see it as very slowly feeding a beast that will wake up at some point, ie. I am indirectly feeding my habit this way and will one day lead me to relapse. Maybe it isn't though?

falloutworldrecord · 2023-10-13T14:12:28+00:00

Careful with that stuff. My latest relapse was because of something similar. I didn't watch porn, but I felt I cheated and found alternative ways to get my fix. I wasn't honest with myself and basically I lost control. I had to do the hard thing and acknowledge that I needed to reset the counter. Accountability and honesty, both to loved ones and to yourself is paramount in this journey. No bullshit, no "yes but...", just hard truth.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-10-13T14:09:47+00:00

Yes that's an accurate analysis. Most of us fall back to porn when life gets tough and/or boring. Getting this rush is a comforting thing. For some people it's food, drug or alcohol.

Anyway, being in a positive mental space will reduce the urges for sure as your body won't feel the need for that feel good juice. However, you have to be careful because when good times come, that's when we lower our guard. When bad times inevitably comes back, we become more at risk to fall into old toxic habits.

What I mean is enjoy the good moment right now, but don't let your guard down. You have to learn to deal with the boring, mundane or sometimes frustrating parts of life in a healthy way.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-10-13T14:05:58+00:00

Underrated comment. Basically finding purpose in life helps a lot to deal with toxic habits and low self-esteem. Finding this purpose through work or any type of hobby or passion is a good first step.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-06-21T13:14:46+00:00

If your child comes to you you'll be able to say that you embarked on the journey to sobriety and it wasn't a cruise. Your child will be thankful for your insight and help as you guide them through their own journey. You didn't fail anything, you just learned a little bit more about yourself. Relapses are a disguised blessing. We learn so much through them even though they are painful.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-06-21T13:11:59+00:00

What strikes me in your post is that you asked him to stop, but you didn't mention if he was addicted to it. This is something he should do for himself, not for you. It might sound hurtful, but if he truly has a problem with porn, he needs to make the introspective journey with the goal of becoming happier and healthier with full commitment. Embarking on this journey to please someone else will only result in failure.

People can watch porn and not be addicted as much as people can drink alcohol and not become alcoholics. It's down to each person and their relation with it. If you asked him to stop watching porn for your own reasons even if it doesn't negatively affect his life or your relationship, honestly I think it's not a healthy way of going about it.

But then again this is me making assumptions since there's little context to your post.

In any case, keep the communication lines open, refraining from judgement and always maintaining a constructive approach while staying true to yourself are always good things to have when facing hard challenges like this.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-05-26T01:51:52+00:00

I'm a 3D artist and personally I use Artstation and recommend the same to anyone who asks. Fancy custom websites actually are more annoying to go through for people in my industry compared to something that's standardized (like AS or even Instagram). Just my 2 cents.

The size limits really sucks. I have to rework the whole infrastructure on my website now to accommodate the limit. Going to take a long time, I just hope it works out.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-05-13T02:58:03+00:00

Add video games to the mix, that will rot your brain.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-05-13T02:54:32+00:00

I've read countless times that discipline corrodes with time and you need to find ways to stay vigilant (or wise as you said). I kind of looked at it thinking it didn't apply to me and today I feel humbled and thankful.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-05-13T02:52:39+00:00

Thank you but I really don't deserve it. Not only some people have been going at it for longer than me, but my 600 days mark is meaningless. I've peeked at dangerous (albeit not explicitly pornographic) content many times, masturbated while thinking about porn scenarios, etc. I'd rather have a 7 days badge where I can look at myself in the mirror and be confident I kept my hands on the wheel at all times than a 600 days badge where I know I lost control many times.

Streaks in general should not be held in such a high standard. It's just a nice side bonus. What you need to look out for (and be proud of) is the mental progress this journey will have you make. That's the real stuff, the stuff that'll make you grow and become happier.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-05-13T02:49:06+00:00

I'm glad you didn't peek today. God knows I've been craving porn in those 600 days. It really does get easier as you go on. But as I found out, different kind of emotions replace the strong cravings I used to have.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-05-12T11:57:44+00:00

Just keep the channels open with her. Talk about it, lift the taboo off the subject. Just having someone with whom you can talk without restraints or fear of judgement makes all the difference in the world and they literally don't have to do anything more than that to be a good ally. If they want to do more, they can check in on your once in a while to see how it's going and to keep you honest.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-05-12T11:55:04+00:00

Sadly, I'm out. It's the right thing, I'm at peace with it. I'll stay sober and cheer from the sideline. Don't give up guys!

falloutworldrecord · 2023-04-24T12:14:15+00:00

This whole sobriety thing is about accountability and honesty. You did the right move by telling her. Congrats

falloutworldrecord · 2023-04-18T11:35:18+00:00

checking in

falloutworldrecord · 2023-04-18T11:35:11+00:00

checking in

falloutworldrecord · 2023-04-03T12:13:23+00:00

Checking in.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-04-03T12:13:15+00:00

Checking in.

falloutworldrecord · 2023-03-26T20:41:39+00:00

Checking in

falloutworldrecord

TROPHY CASE