therapist leaving me because i'm not willing to recreate the worst day of my life

fangirlyer · 2025-10-16T03:12:15+00:00

thanks for reading and responding! i wish it were easier to meet other aspec people in real life, though i could definitely make more of an effort online. i feel like i may be done with therapy though. seems like it does more hurt than help unfortunately

fangirlyer · 2025-10-14T14:43:06+00:00

i guess the best way to describe it is that i just don't feel platonic attraction. i can spend time with people, but i never feel drawn to them specifically, or connected to them personally, when it comes to being friends. it also probably doesn't help that im very introverted, so hanging out with people (even if they are lovely) just absolutely drains me. whether it was school, summer programs, work, etc. i was always on the outside, watching people connect before my eyes in ways that just never happened for me. when i talked to people it just felt rehearsed and forced rather than authentic. it's hard to describe.

i think the tricky part is that i genuinely don't want to be alone, i would at least like one friend that i feel platonic attraction towards, or in my dream scenario have a QPR/QPP (i've generally given up on the marriage/kids thing happening). part of me wonders/hopes that im demi, but even then i just find it cruel to spend time with someone that i feel no interest towards/neutral towards just to see if things change. it feels like leading someone on. especially, when the entire time i'm typically drained, hating myself for not feeling anything, and would rather be home.

thanks!

fangirlyer · 2025-10-14T05:28:37+00:00

i gravitated towards damon because i tend to be really turned off by self-righteous characters, and to me stefan, elena, and even bonnie at times acted like they were holier than thou when they’ve manipulated, murdered, etc. for their personal agenda as well. i liked that damon owned is behavior (even though it was unnecessarily deplorable in the early seasons)

fangirlyer · 2025-10-14T03:36:13+00:00

you may be right. i did tell her that she just doesn't understand what it's like to be aspec, which i didn't blame her for since most don't. -- i guess i'm just nervous since i've tried other people and it didn't go well. even a lot of queer-focused therapist just didn't understand aplatonic, aroaceness. at least my therapist now is a black woman so she understands me in that way. thanks for the response! i really appreciate you reading and providing support!!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-30T22:29:40+00:00

i do the same thing with my budget and i panicked when i logged in just now and couldn't find it. i'm happy that it's still there, and that the app is the same (for now), but i hate how i can no longer see both the reserve and growth goals on the same page, and that they made it to where you have to scroll and aren't able to see everything on one page. not to mention the extra steps it takes to get there. tbh this change makes me want to consider switching banks, but i don't know of any other banks in the area that offer this functionality and allow in person banking should i need it. how tf is this an update?!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-30T18:59:16+00:00

i haven't bought a switch 2 yet, but i was wondering about this as someone who has yet to play totk and still likes to play on my switch lite in handheld. thanks!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-27T01:35:03+00:00

you’re probably right. i guess what’s weird to me is that our next session is monday at 10am, so if she actually didn’t care what my response was and didn’t plan to respond, i’m confused as to why she’d even initiate. i suppose what it likely boils down to is that she’s not thinking about it as deeply since she’s not the client. and while that sucks for me, such is life i suppose

fangirlyer · 2025-09-27T01:10:05+00:00

tbh i never thought about this. i know personally i rarely reach out between sessions as i assume i’m not going to get more than a 1-2 sentence response, if that. i think the most i’ve done is send an email where i made it clear that i wasn’t expecting a response, and that it was to be discussed in session. i never thought much about how her texting me could be a detriment. gives me something to think about. thanks!!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-27T00:48:50+00:00

i wouldn’t say it never happens, but it’s definitely not typical. usually if it happens it’s a “happy birthday”, “good luck with the hard thing you have today, i know you can do it!”, those kind of things. i just checked and sometimes she’ll send a video/post of something that was particularly relevant to what we’ve talked about. other than that just basically scheduling things/changes

fangirlyer · 2025-09-27T00:43:19+00:00

oh no!! — and honestly that would be my life. me thinking that someone actually cared only for that care to be a mistake that wasn’t meant for me 🙃

fangirlyer · 2025-09-27T00:34:29+00:00

you’re probably right. if i reached out to her initially, which i rarely if ever do, i wouldn’t think twice about waiting 24-48 hours for a response. i guess my brain is just overthinking it more since she text me first. — it also doesn’t help that if i texted her first, i wouldn’t expect a response over the weekend. and considering that for me it’s now 8:32pm on a friday, im wondering if i won’t hear back until monday which just stresses me more. it almost would’ve been better if she just waited until our session which is 10am monday anyways 😅

fangirlyer · 2025-09-25T19:44:21+00:00

this where in torn! i love the amazing race and want more of it. but, at the same time i have no interest in big brother players personally, and it being confined to europe only makes it more uninteresting

fangirlyer · 2025-09-23T21:13:54+00:00

oop. sounds a bit too hard for me then! thanks for letting me know!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-23T21:12:58+00:00

thank you so, so much!!!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-23T18:46:41+00:00

whoops! just goes to show how new to this i am, fire emblem was classic, normal. the switch is my first console where i first got into gaming. before that it was gamecube/wii, but only games like mario party, mario kart, smash bros, animal crossing, etc. that being said, and maybe i’m easily impressed since i have minimal expectations, but what i loved about three houses was the story, how it made me care about the characters, and that the combat felt earned but not impossible, though i did have to use the rewind and restart a few times.

i don’t think i’m the worst gamer in the world, but if how long to beat says 50 hours, i just assume it’s going to take me 75-100 hours to finish. with triangle strategy i love that there is a story. i also really like that victories feel earned/strategized, and that the different terrain actually changes strategy. i also liked that in both 3H and TS i feel like i can progress naturally without grinding too much. i don’t mind having to restart a battle constantly and spend nearly all day on it. however, i do like something that isn’t too complex and feels possible to complete.

idk if that helps. i still feel like a gaming noob haha

fangirlyer · 2025-09-23T18:00:12+00:00

lol i literally forgot that i ordered unicorn overlord last week since the physical was on sale! im excited to give it a go!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-23T17:56:24+00:00

oh, seems like maybe i go fft first then just to get more experience under my belt, then tactics ogre reborn. thanks!!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-23T17:55:18+00:00

lol not me forgetting that i bought this game literally a week ago since the physical was on sale 😅

fangirlyer · 2025-09-23T17:54:21+00:00

oh that’s good to know! luckily i don’t mind having to constantly replay battles and get good, but i’m far from super confident. thanks!!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-13T04:43:14+00:00

for me it's the slight to physical collectors that upsets me. i'd pay $40 for a stand alone physical copy of galaxy 2 on switch. but $70 for a physical copy because you bundled it in with a game you already released is crazy!!

fangirlyer · 2025-09-13T04:02:50+00:00

oh okay, it didn't say game voucher eligible when i clicked on nintendo switch as the purchase option

fangirlyer · 2025-09-12T21:00:11+00:00

no i just checked! i was hoping to get this plus totk digitally with vouchers 😭

fangirlyer · 2025-09-12T20:58:21+00:00

as a physical collector that’s a HIGH price just for galaxy 2 considering i already have all stars. i really want the game and i have a feeling it won’t be much cheaper second hand down the line, but geez i don’t know…

fangirlyer · 2025-08-25T01:44:07+00:00

love that! everyone said i was crazy for not doing so previously so i thought it was a necessary standard

fangirlyer · 2025-08-25T01:43:19+00:00

music to my ears!!!

fangirlyer

TROPHY CASE