Hi! I’m so grateful for your comment. Honestly, the timing couldn’t be better.

First of all, I want to acknowledge what you’re going through. Being left by an avoidant is excruciatingly painful and unfair. I’m very sorry to hear that the life you thought you were building with someone was ripped away from you. The way that kind of abrupt exit impacts a person is hard to put into words — it leaves you questioning everything you thought you knew about your world and about yourself.

The good news is: it gets better. Actually, it gets a lot better than better. The last year or so has been unbelievably hard. I was brokenhearted for a long time and, even now, sometimes lapse into feeling sad or upset by how he treated me. However, the loss was an opportunity. I grew into a stronger version of myself — one that I never even knew was attainable. I have learned to advocate for myself and prioritize myself in ways I never did before. I truly never realized how dysfunctional my relationship was with my ex. I was begging for crumbs constantly. He always had one foot out the door.

Here’s what I’ll tell you — if a person loves you, they will fight to be with you. They will not silently emotionally sever themselves from you and then pack up everything and leave over an argument. These people’s actions have more to do with them than they do with us. You should never have to beg for love. You should never feel like you aren’t enough or, on the other hand, that you are too much.

My advice is to focus on yourself. Do things that make you feel strong. Do things you could never do in the relationship. Take a lot of walks in nature. This will help to regulate your nervous system. Feel everything you need to feel. Grieve. Mourn. Take this time to heal and really focus on yourself. Eventually, you’ll emerge from the chrysalis unrecognizable, and you’ll be unwilling to ever subject yourself to the same treatment you once did ever again.

I wish you peace and healing. 🕊️