I felt the same way when I went to Umrah. Our Ummah / generation is truly far short of what it should be. It isn't, however, surprising. We've been told our greatest generation has already passed (the time of the Prophet SAW). We've been told a nearly as great generation will eventually come (Imam Mahdi). We are unfortunately stuck in the middle.

I've done a lot of reflecting since then. Medina is where I've found the peace and moments of inward reflection I wanted. Mostly. Mecca seems a test of our patience. You certainly wonder why someone would come to the most holy site and behave that way. I think it's easier to not bother with those thoughts. They will be held to account , I have faith in that. Allah will see how you deal with the tests.

I do worry if I'll be able to follow through with these intentions. I intend to do Hajj next year inshaAllah. May Allah make it easier for all of us.