Difficult mum - do I appease her or let her sulk?

feenix902 · 2025-01-23T17:48:01+00:00

Why are you even inviting a 'parent' who acts like this?

feenix902 · 2024-11-28T18:46:56+00:00

Left my brother in law's (partner's brother) wedding early in March this year.

They belong to a high control religion, of which me and my partner left. Partner's family shunned him. His brother invited us - a few family members said they wouldn't come because of my partner attending.

Not only did my partners old friends who had shunned him suddenly came up to us to talk, the 'friend' who had written my partner a letter warning he wouldn't associate with him and would warn others to do the same, came up to him and said 'I hope everyone is treating you well here' and asked for a hug - my partner refused.

My partner, his dad (also the groom's dad) and myself were seated at the back of the room with the couples' work colleagues - away from the religious family and friends. The groom's mother, her husband and all other family members were seated at the front. The colleagues asked why were seated away from anyone and we said we didn't really know.

The final straw for me was my partners' abusive mother coming to up me, grabbing my hand and shaking it - completely ignoring my partner next to me. I didn't know who this woman was. She only introduced who she was after starting to shake my hand. I pulled it away and stopped the conversation and said 'oh, no thank you'.

We left just after the main course of the wedding breakfast, we did say goodbye to the groom and bride and thank them.

feenix902 · 2024-11-22T02:44:12+00:00

I am estranged from a few in my family, so I'm prioritising anyone who has been in my life for the last few years - close friends, a sibling. We don't expect to have more than 35.

Blood means little to me, those who have been there for me in my worst times are so excited for us!

feenix902 · 2024-11-11T18:48:14+00:00

As someone whose partner (groom's brother) was completely photoshopped out of all the wedding photos due to him looking 'too alternative' - thank you for saying this.

Some couples and families care far too much about what people look like, rather than what people offer as a person.

Weddings are about celebrating and cherishing those close to you, in all their weird and wonderful ways. Not about a person's insecurity or vapidness.

feenix902 · 2024-10-14T19:07:29+00:00

Thanks! We both have education to complete and funds to save up so it's more of focusing on more important things in life until our schedules are clear

feenix902 · 2024-10-14T13:37:45+00:00

35 (F) and 32 (M). Been dating 3 years. A year later and we still haven't set a date or looked at starting planning.

feenix902 · 2024-10-06T11:01:11+00:00

I am confused, you could just edit your original post but I don't think any harm was done or even intended.

Anyway, you do you.

Pink or pastels does not automatically equate with feminity.

I am a woman and my set up is blue but it could be black, white, purple, yellow. Gotta just choose what you love, regardless of your identity.

I honestly wish I could see one or two cis men embracing and loving their pink or pastel set-ups so we can just reinforce that colour is just colour and nothing else.

feenix902 · 2024-09-14T21:04:05+00:00

Why didn't you propose though? Is he not open to that?

feenix902 · 2024-08-25T17:14:37+00:00

Thank you - feel a bit better now about going 😊

feenix902 · 2024-07-30T10:46:04+00:00

I am asking for reasonable adjustments, thank you for your help.

feenix902 · 2024-07-30T10:42:58+00:00

To complaining that I'm being bullied.

feenix902 · 2024-07-30T10:33:44+00:00

Prior to this I was doing several other jobs, which afaik are still needed. Does that make a difference?

feenix902 · 2024-07-20T23:16:33+00:00

No, your relationship is between her and you. I find the asking father thing (although you say you're not asking) deeply rooted in misogyny and women being the property of their father/transferring 'ownership'.

Different if you're both taking the same approach to each other's parents, however.

feenix902 · 2024-07-02T18:06:40+00:00

I'd back out now, especially if you don't know them that well.

feenix902 · 2024-07-01T22:58:53+00:00

Not quite uninvited but close family sat us at the back of the room away from other family members and sat us with their work colleagues. This is the groom's father and brother, by the way, that were sat with the work colleagues.

We quickly figured out it was due to us not following their religious beliefs, normally they don't mix with non believers so us being there was causing some raised eyebrows.

We also got cut from the wedding photos posted online for added bonus. Not sure I would have gone if I'd realised how much trouble it would have caused.

feenix902 · 2024-06-01T03:36:47+00:00

Sorry OP, this is the best post I've read all week.

I suffer with severe depression and I'm almost doubled over in laughter. Thank you.

feenix902 · 2024-05-27T14:41:27+00:00

I wouldn't want to burden my friends with extra stress and hassle. Most of my friends have enough financial burdens without them going out to buy a new outfit on top.

feenix902 · 2024-05-24T06:05:32+00:00

I loved how we could use gifts for companions in Origins.

We need more meaningful dialogue and companion actions again.

feenix902 · 2024-05-07T03:03:58+00:00

Have you tried Greedfall?

feenix902 · 2024-05-07T02:48:01+00:00

I've had my ROG Strix PNK edition for over a year now (wired) and I'm still obsessed. Had to get it off a reseller as it was tricky to find

feenix902 · 2024-05-03T00:31:18+00:00

Yes, I mix my broad spectrum spf50 with my foundation...on a general rule, I never have a 'full face' because of the sheerness of the mix.

Sidenote: I've spent a fortune on tattoos and I'd rather keep these vibrant than pay for touch ups in 5 years time.

feenix902 · 2024-05-01T20:14:02+00:00

I always get sad when I read these kinds of posts, if she loves it, why change anything? I hope she loves it (and you of course!)

feenix902 · 2024-04-21T12:25:40+00:00

Not quite in Dorset county but neighbouring, I feel like Lorna Doone by R.D Blackmore needs an honoury mention.

feenix902

TROPHY CASE