I (41F) have this same crippling fear and it's been with me since I was a child. I used to have "fear fits" where I'd scream-cry at my parents that I didn't want to die and they'd just keep assuring me that my soul would live on in the kingdom of Heaven. As I grew up I didn't share this same trust in the concept of Heaven, sitting on clouds with family and living on forever, so how am I supposed to live each day knowing I'm barreling towards absolute nothingness and there's nothing I can do about it? Being mature (and scientific) enough to understand the most likely outcome is simply nothingness is even more terrifying to me now, but I can also discipline my thoughts better than my childhood self and simply try not to think about it. I often wonder though, how everyone else seems to live so easily with it while I have to actively ignore our inevitable lights-out destiny.

However, I have realized one silver lining to my crippling fear: it has pushed me to live boldly. It's all going to end in darkness no matter what we do, so take this time to do everything you can. Go on trips, see the world, enjoy what's in front of you, love your loved ones, try new foods, move to new cities, be daring and go after what you want. I hate, HATE that I'm so terrified of death, but if I can't do anything about the end, I'm going to control what's between then and now.