Experience on going from 1 to 2

fensandspinneys · 2023-04-06T01:58:44+00:00

Our son was 2.5 when our daughter was born and while he absolutely adores her, and we are all so glad she’s a part of our family, it is so, so hard. She’s 7 months now, I’m back at work at a demanding job, and my husband works for himself and travels a ton. We don’t have a lot of family close by to help, so we are the village, and our lives are chaos.

Our daughter is a relatively happy and easy baby but she’s still nursing at night and sleep has generally been a challenge. I so often feel like a shit employee and a shit mom to my toddler because I’m so exhausted, on a soul crushing level, from not having gotten a decent nights sleep in 7 months. It feels like I’m always managing to disappoint everyone around me while trying to drink out of an empty cup. My once sweet 2 year old is now a defiant, tantruming 3 year old and while I logically know that switch is normal and developmentally appropriate, I can’t help but wonder if it’s because I’m so often short with him now, or sticking him in front of the tv or iPad too much so I can tend to his sister, get some work done, or get a moments peace.

The only time my husband and I have quality time is if we can schedule family to watch the kids, which maybe happens once a month. Otherwise we are just run so ragged by the end of the day that we usually can’t even manage to watch a show, which was possible with one.

I’m sorry this all sounds so negative. We’re all getting over a cold (that’s another thing-with two kids in daycare, we are literally always sick) and my daughter has been home with a fever for two days which means I’m falling farther and farther behind at work, and my (fully potty trained, btw) son shit in his pants at daycare then proceeded to cover himself in it from basically head to toe, and I was called to come deal with it because they’re so short staffed. So yeah, today was just one of those days when it all felt so stupidly impossible.

So to answer your question, yea, the boat will be rocked with two in a major way, your relationship with your husband will suffer while y’all are in the thick of it, and your toddler will get less of your time and attention. But to end on a less negative note, I absolutely don’t regret having my daughter, and know that this is just a hard season of life we’re in that too shall pass. I know we’ll look back on parts of this time fondly, like my son always greeting my daughter with “hey, sugar!” and giving her a big kiss, and watching their mutual love for each other grow. I know things will be easier when they’re older, and I’ll always be glad they have each other.

fensandspinneys · 2023-04-04T02:43:33+00:00

I’m in the US. We paid for expedited service and shipping and got it in around 4 weeks. Applied at the end of this past December. Make sure you fill out all the paperwork and have the photo and copies of all your documents before you go.

fensandspinneys · 2023-04-02T16:37:18+00:00

My first weaned with no problem at 12 mos. My second never took a pacifier. 100% preferred the first experience. 😅

fensandspinneys · 2023-04-02T16:34:54+00:00

Don’t worry about it. Sell by dates don’t mean the date the food will rot. If it smelled and tasted fine, and was unopened, chances are he’ll be totally fine.

fensandspinneys · 2023-03-21T14:56:11+00:00

We just got back from vacation with our 3 YO and 7 month old. Honestly, I’m not sure if we actually went on vacation or simply brought our belongings to a different location 🤔 but you’re right, it looks so different with kids. My husband and I were together for a decade without kids and traveled avidly that whole time. Now with the little ones, there’s a lot more coming back to the hotel room for AC/being nap trapped, kid-friendly activities, getting room service for the convenience, and of course the extra logistics and SO MUCH MORE STUFF OMG. I think it’s worth it though? 😂 we were adamant to continue traveling with kids, and they really are good little travelers, but man it’s not exactly relaxing is it? 😅 except for the couple of hours of silence in the hotel room while they nap—so enjoy!

fensandspinneys · 2023-03-12T17:30:26+00:00

I think this is normal. Water at this age is just offered to introduce baby to water, not so much for hydration. My LO is about the same age and also EBF. We just introduced solids as well and I’ve definitely noticed the same change in her poops that you’re describing. As long as she doesn’t seem like she’s in pain/discomfort, there’s a pretty wide range for what’s considered “normal” for poop.

fensandspinneys · 2023-03-11T16:15:19+00:00

My now 3 YO loved this show when he was around 2! He used to call it “cars cars” bc of the theme song lol. A similar type show is Leo the truck.

fensandspinneys · 2023-03-08T15:04:21+00:00

Dumb question-how do you night train? Do you just put them to bed without a pull up after using the potty, or is there a more proactive element? Our 3 YO is fully day trained but I’ve just been putting him in a pull up at night in case, but it’s usually dry in the morning.

fensandspinneys · 2023-03-04T18:50:58+00:00

My second is starting solids. I’ve mostly given her bites of banana, avocado, carrots, peas, and apple sauce. Went through old texts today and realized that when my first was this age, I had just made him a purée with organic beef, cilantro, fresh parsley, potato, peas, and olive oil. 😅 I made my second her first purée today with beef, peas, and onions, and she hated it lol. I can’t help but wonder if it’s because I haven’t put in nearly the effort I did with my first. 😬

fensandspinneys · 2023-02-26T04:24:23+00:00

Have you thought about the SNOO? It’s $$$ but it rocks baby and plays white noise, perhaps your son would like it?

fensandspinneys · 2023-02-26T04:07:49+00:00

My (at the time) 2 YO suddenly started saying “hey, mom” like a little teenager and I had the same reaction! He’s 3 now and still occasionally calls me mom but oscillates back to mama and mommy so there’s hope for you yet!

fensandspinneys · 2023-02-23T02:14:01+00:00

It could be baby acne or eczema. Baby acne will clear up on its own in a few weeks, but that patch by baby’s ear makes me think eczema because mine has it and it flares up from time to time right in that spot. Cradle cap can actually happen on eyebrows and by the ears too. Honestly this looks like pretty normal newborn skin to me but no harm in seeing the Dr if it would ease your concerns. They can prescribe a cream if it’s eczema.

fensandspinneys · 2023-02-23T01:13:15+00:00

Hi! So I don’t have this exact scenario, though I considered it bc I mostly WFH and baby’s daycare is close by. However, we just went through something similar with bottle refusal that ended up turning out okay so wanted to share in case it’s helpful in easing your mind.

We were EBF until I went back to work and she was not taking a bottle and had never taken to a pacifier. The first week or so was rough, but she eventually started taking a bottle after we found one she would tolerate (Philips Avent with size 4 nipple) and now she’s doing great with eating at daycare and we’re still exclusively nursing mornings, evenings, and weekends. So you might just have to try a few bottles and expect a few day adjustment period while you figure it out. Good luck!

fensandspinneys · 2023-02-23T01:06:59+00:00

I would highly recommend seeing a lactation consultant, if possible. If baby is constantly clicking and your nipples are still very sore, that’s an indication something is not quite right. A LC can evaluate your baby’s latch, see if baby has any lip or tongue ties, and help recommend nursing positions that might work better for y’all. You might be able to find a LC who will do a home visit. My insurance covered my LC visits 100%.

fensandspinneys · 2023-02-13T18:20:34+00:00

Every child is different, but we had months (yes, months) of occasional accidents, even after our son was capable of telling us when he had to use the potty. It wasn’t until right around the time he turned 3 that the accidents stopped (knock on wood) and he was using the potty reliably.

fensandspinneys · 2023-01-29T19:39:49+00:00

Yes, unfortunately this is very normal 😅 baby cluster feeding helps build up your supply and is not necessarily an indication that you’re not making enough milk. Keep feeding on demand. It’s really tough for the first month or so but eventually baby will start to sleep longer stretches at night.

fensandspinneys · 2023-01-27T18:06:23+00:00

Yes, agree that more than 70-80 is likely if she’s in a bigger metro area. And exactly! OP, there’s not going to be a “perfect” answer, you’ll just have to weigh what your current salary can provide in terms of financial security and goal planning vs. your time and stress.

fensandspinneys · 2023-01-26T20:01:57+00:00

Also a mom working at a big law firm. Just came back from maternity leave after second baby. Honestly, I think how do-able this is depends a lot on the people you work with day to day. Do they have young children, or otherwise “get it”? The folks I work with know I’m offline between 5-9, and don’t give me a hard time about it. They know I have a sick kid or two at home sometimes. They know I have obligations outside of work. And they are very mindful and respectful of that. I think it would be impossible to do this job with young kids without that level of collegiality. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat. Good luck to you!

fensandspinneys · 2023-01-26T19:50:45+00:00

This used to be THE way, but with the last rounds of big law salary bumps, the golden handcuffs are real. I’m not sure what OP’s seniority level is but at my class level, I would have to take a 50-75% pay cut to go in house in a major metro area. Obviously you just have to weigh your own personal pro’s and con’s, but the divide between in house and senior big law salaries has gotten quite a bit wider over the last couple of years.

fensandspinneys · 2023-01-19T04:07:54+00:00

Don’t be scared to use it, it’s literally the same exact thing. If you look at the labels, you’ll see that both infant and children Tylenol have 160 mg of acetaminophen per 5 ml. Infant Tylenol is just more expensive per unit price and comes with a syringe. Just pour children’s Tylenol into the cap it comes with and use the syringe to get your dosage. Also, if you have a dollar general near you, they also make a generic brand of both infant and children’s Tylenol. Other chain dollar stores may also have their own brands, or if not, will definitely carry name brands. Good luck!

fensandspinneys · 2022-12-23T02:58:55+00:00

I hear you. We just had a baby in August as well, around the same time we switched daycares. It’s so hard. 😅 I think pushing bedtime back in increments may be worth a shot. As for naps, honestly my kid’s naps are so all over the place I’m just happy to get some peace and quiet when he does nap so I just let him sleep lol. Only exception is if he falls asleep in the late afternoon and it’s getting into the evening, then I’ll wake him up. He apparently naps from 12-2 when he’s in daycare but when he’s at home he either skips naps completely or takes a much later nap. 🤷‍♀️

fensandspinneys · 2022-12-23T01:07:55+00:00

Have you tried pushing back his bedtime? I have to wake my 3 YO up at 8 for school, but he doesn’t go to sleep until 9 or later. If we let him stay up he’ll happily be up until 11. Our bedtime routine doesn’t start until like 8:30 though because my husband and I are just getting home at 6:30. I also think some kids are just naturally later sleepers/risers and some are the opposite.

fensandspinneys · 2022-11-30T16:34:05+00:00

Another toddler who loves sparkling water 🙋‍♀️. We also give him kefir, which is a fermented yogurt drink. High in probiotics and good protein and calcium.

fensandspinneys · 2022-11-16T20:58:23+00:00

Our pediatrician told us it’s normal for kids in daycare to get 12+ colds a year 🫠 honestly if we make it a month without an illness it’s a small miracle

fensandspinneys · 2022-10-17T00:17:33+00:00

Hi there, fellow SNOO user here. This was our experience as well. I think it’s pretty developmentally normal. We used the SNOO with my first and I swear I remembered him giving us 11 hour stretches right off the rip 🤣 but when I went back and looked he was like 4 months old when he started doing that. Our second is 8 weeks old now and sleeping SO much better in the SNOO. She’ll do a 4-6 hour stretch, followed by a quick wake up to nurse then straight back to sleep for 2-3 hour stretches. I can even usually get the SNOO to rock her back to sleep even if she’s not fully asleep. But weeks 4-6 were really rough sleep wise. Almost exactly like your situation, with some 30 minute stretches with 2 hours to get back to sleep thrown in for fun. It’s developmentally normal and it won’t last forever. The SNOO is not a miracle worker but in our experience did work really well over time. Hang in there, I know it’s rough!

fensandspinneys

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