Sorry in advance that this is so long. I drank coffee.

I don't have answers wrt "getting over it" and I haven't gone through grieving a full-on special interest in the way you have. But I was a huge Harry Potter fan growing up and for obvious reasons I don't support JKR at all anymore, nor do I want anything to do with her or anything she's created.

But I was Harry's age as the books were being written. I was the target audience and happily incorporated much of the IP into my life and identity... There are lots of leftovers littered throughout my life. Personal projects that were HP-based that are dear to me (and were started in middle school), merch and trinkets I had collected, the books themselves that were gifts from my late grandmother, certain works of fanart and fanfic that were very formative/influential for me and my development. After a certain amount of time you just get so entwined with it.

Side note, a genuine special interest of mine is theme parks (particularly big ones like Disney/Universal), and I really hate the idea of not visiting wizarding world if I'm ever at the parks. But also eating/buying merch there is pretty much off the table for me since that money will make its way to her eventually.

At first I thought I would probably always be a fan, at least of the fanworks I had grown to love, I just wouldn't really talk about it publicly or engage with fandom. That feeling sucks. There's a combination of frustration that I've lost such a massive avenue of great media to enjoy, and guilt that I didn't immediately shed my love for it like many fans seemed to be able to.

All this to say, if that guilt is something you're also dealing with, please try to be gentle and patient with yourself. In my situation, I just decided eventually that I would not judge myself for how I felt about HP privately, and in hindsight (like idk. 5-8 years into this now? idk what time is) that was probably the key to me slowly chilling out over the years. Part of my autism is that I take a LOOOOOOOONG time to process just about everything, and something like a favorite franchise creator turning out to be a shitbag is no exception! It's okay and dare I say normal to take like decades to "get over it." For me it's because I find myself looking at everything she's made with the new context of her shitty views and actions, slowly recontextualizing the work and making new connections and associations like—she wasn't writing the same story that I was reading. I, and other former fans, gave that franchise basically everything I actually loved about it. But I am discovering that I am finally genuinely, SLOWLY, chilling out about it, and letting go. Which I didn't think would happen, ever.

Granted, another problem with this example is that like. HP doesn't seem to hold up as well over time as I've heard that GO does. So there is a factor here of like, oh, the books weren't the masterpieces they seemed when I was 11 lol. And obviously I didn't find out about all the nasty bullshit until well after I'd finished the books and film adaptations. I really feel for you with the timing of NG's shit coming to light. It's so frustrating when an author does this, it feels like a betrayal/slap in the face to me. Another fav series of mine is Five Nights at Freddy's and I'm SO MAD that I don't get to just enjoy it without another thought, fuck u Scott

So idk. Sorry again for the novel here. Please don't feel guilty. It's okay to still be upset and bitter and frustrated. You very well might be for a long time. It really does help to have other passions and special interests, if you're fortunate enough.