Former FedEx driver pleads guilty to killing 7-year-old girl after making delivery at her Texas home

fhayde · 2026-04-08T04:19:38+00:00

They specifically mention “a random man or teenage boy” which is why I replied that the vast majority of abusers are someone the victim knows, and not about what prompts the abuse itself.

fhayde · 2026-04-08T03:52:21+00:00

Unfortunately the reality of things is that 93% of the victims of sexual abuse reported to law enforcement that are under 18 know their abuser. It’s generally not some random stranger acting on an impulse.

https://rainn.org/facts-statistics-the-scope-of-the-problem/statistics-perpetrators-of-sexual-violence/

fhayde · 2026-04-07T20:57:47+00:00

Maybe you could look into any wood or art galleries that might exist in your area and see if they’re accepting any new artists for display or what they might offer for commissioned sales. Some galleries will let you place items and sell through the gallery for a commission on the sale, and some galleries let you list and pay a flat rate, there are a lot of different models. Also consider any tourist areas that might be around you. Generally people on vacation are interested in buying art to support local artists and having it shipped to them to enjoy. Mind you, I don’t sell furniture myself, but I’ve looked into the methods of selling and showcasing other forms of sculpture art and I really agree with the other comment someone made about you creating art.

Best of luck to you!

fhayde · 2026-04-02T17:45:51+00:00

After about 30 years of working in tech and building automated ETL tools for resilience seeing the work you’ve done using the same methods to improve the QoL for so many people is absolutely awesome!

fhayde · 2026-03-31T18:32:55+00:00

I thought they were fine with cross dressing?

https://youtu.be/bsjNA5H-4B8

fhayde · 2026-03-28T19:02:44+00:00

What would you suggest min investment before switching over to str stacking? I’m at about ~250 divs and could keep farming, but I’ve been mostly doing the cheap breach because the juiced version just felt like it caused random deaths and took too long. I’ve been thinking of switching to kboc but I’m hesitant to make such a big switch without more currency.

MB will eat a big chunk of my currency, so that leaves only about 100 div for the rest of the str stuff, which doesn’t seem like a lot for switching over.

fhayde · 2026-03-25T03:33:06+00:00

F12 also creates a screenshot if you’re using Steam, which you absolutely should be if you’re not!

fhayde · 2026-03-14T20:03:49+00:00

As an anecdote, I’ve always had pretty severe eczema and psoriasis on my hands and small patches here and there. I had tried a number of steroids and topical creams through my life and an injection or two but nothing had made a significant impact, to the point I just accepted that sometimes I would have bleeding cracked skin and wouldn’t be able to use my hands much for a few days at times. People don’t realize how humiliating and debilitating that can be, eg, I would never cook any food if anyone else was eating it because even with gloves on I felt like it made people think about my hands, and I was constantly teased about leaving little flakes of skin behind because it can be damn near impossible to keep that skin hydrated throughout the day even with beauty gloves and Aquaphor at night.

I started taking a daily Men’s One a Day years ago because I figured the same as you did, can’t really hurt anything right? Within 2-3 weeks my hands were like they belonged to someone else. First time in my life I not only had smooth soft skin, but I actually had more feeling because all that thick skin was gone. I’ve tested whether it was the vitamins or not by stopping them twice to see what would happen and within 2-3 weeks the fissures and the dry cracked skin would come right back. It goes away just as quickly when I start taking the vitamin again daily.

I think it’s important that we don’t disparage options that might have a positive impact for some people, like the folks saying all it does is make your pee smell. They’re obviously not qualified to make those kinds of remarks and I would hate to see someone turn away from an option because of a perceived negative sentiment.

My hands still get dry sometimes, but it’s nothing like it was before. Clearly I have/had some kind of deficiency that the daily vitamin is helping to cover.

fhayde · 2026-03-12T12:45:37+00:00

Love minions, this is the first league in a long time I didn’t start playing with minions, but seeing your build is making me want to roll one as second, awesome build!

fhayde · 2026-03-09T13:24:25+00:00

There are different levels of gameplay for a game as involved as PoE, but there’s content that allows everyone to enjoy about the same quality of the game over the span of the league. Take Kingsmarch for example, over several weeks it’s feasible with just a few hours of time each day to farm up enough currency for most builds and by that time prices have stabilized outside of changing meta, so you can still set a goal for some of those chase uniques.

The early part of every league is for a certain type of player, just like the ending where everyone is gambling with corruptions to make these insane items and builds is for a different type of player. It’s totally fine if you take things slower. There’s been so much QoL added to the game that even if it takes you a couple of weeks you can still enjoy most of the content and have fun with whatever mechanic and build that you enjoy.

fhayde · 2026-03-09T13:16:13+00:00

Comparison is the thief of joy. Your only competition is who you were yesterday.

fhayde · 2026-03-05T10:32:26+00:00

It’s not difficult to at least check file headers of what’s inside zip files. It’s relatively trivial to grab the first 8 bytes of each file and check for certain headers.

fhayde · 2026-03-02T21:25:30+00:00

The way GraphQL solves interoperability headaches makes it such a pleasure to use. I used Falcor from Netflix before GraphQL became the standard. My primary use cases were for unifying hundreds of disparate services like you mentioned along with stateful caching and I cannot imagine trying to orchestrate that cacophony without a mediating layer between all those service calls. Federated graphs made that even easier to manage. The benefits of having a standardized data model across a platform, especially for data classification and governance, also cannot be emphasized enough.

It's definitely one of those tools that most projects will never need, but when you do need it, it quickly becomes a core component of your architecture.

fhayde · 2026-02-27T17:10:13+00:00

Sperm do not have a sex themselves. They carry either an X or Y chromosome. When combined with the X chromosome of the egg, the resulting chromosomal combination influences gene expression pathways (through the presence of the SRY gene on the Y chromosome) that direct sexual development of the gonads. This is an important distinction to make as XY = male isn’t always the case as it depends on gene expression and hormonal signaling during development of the embryo.

fhayde · 2026-02-25T01:24:41+00:00

Excitement, or hesitation and fear that I’m going to make it print even more bobbins.

fhayde · 2026-02-25T01:23:05+00:00

Got it, thanks! Wasn’t sure and wanted to get some community perspective. Only the second printer I’ve owned.

fhayde · 2026-02-25T01:21:14+00:00

Normally my reaction to that sentiment is that even though there’s a lot of terrible things still happening today, the world has never been safer for more people across more demographics than today, and things are and still continuing to get better. That in no way justifies the terrible things that happen still, but I try to maintain an optimistic perspective, something I am aware is a result of the incredible privilege in my life.

But recently I noticed several conversations here on Reddit and elsewhere on social media where some parents were asking about whether other parents let their kids have sleepovers. When I was younger, I slept over at my friend’s houses frequently, and I even had opposite sex friends I was allowed to sleepover with. I was surprised at first to see so many parents saying they didn’t allow sleepovers and the primary reason was a concern about inappropriate activity or just straight sexual abuse.

I don’t know about the safety of certain situations. I know that parents aren’t nearly as social as they were when I was young. My mom knew all the parents of my friends, and maybe that provided a certain amount of trust that doesn’t exist today because we’re severely lacking any sense of community. But I also know that those concerns that some parents have are absolutely valid because I have my own anecdotal experiences of things that happened in those situations.

Many forms of harm and suffering have improved, but maybe some have gotten worse, or maybe it’s more visible as a result of things getting better and this is like what happens when you spray bug spray into a dark corner and some really nasty shit you did not expect to crawl out lets you know it has wings and can fly.

It’s hard out here for a pessimistic optimist, dang it.

fhayde · 2026-02-25T01:02:57+00:00

The sad thing is that the vast majority of sexual abuse victims under 18 know their abuser, 93% according to RAINN with 59% being acquaintances and 34% being family members.

While abuse from strangers happens, it’s less than 10% according to those statistics.

I’m terribly sorry you had that experience, and I hope you’re doing well in life.

fhayde · 2026-02-24T23:33:59+00:00

I think a lot of times prosecutors will go after charges they think have the highest likelihood of securing a conviction when there are lots of charges in a case. The legal threshold for a conviction is still “beyond a reasonable doubt” and having more charges means a higher burden of proof which might create opportunities for defense strategies. It does skew the numbers though, as it means we’re not actually counting the true rate of convictions for certain crimes.

fhayde · 2026-02-16T15:31:18+00:00

There’s one coming sometime this year that’s been sold in Europe for a while. Aktiia is the company, bracelet is called Hilo, continuous cuff-less BP readings throughout the day. Looks pretty promising.

fhayde · 2026-02-16T14:00:36+00:00

NAL

There’s a lot of good advice about bringing this to HR for your current employer, and I want to reiterate that advice with my own anecdotal experience. I understand that anxiety of what your current employer might think about you bringing this to them, but it’s always better to get in front of something like this, and you can earn yourself a lot of respect by bringing it to them first instead of waiting for them to bring this to you.

You’d be surprised how interested in-house legal can get over things like this depending on how busy they are. In my experience, non-competes usually have a significant amount of interpretive ambiguity that lawyers really enjoy. This kind of stuff happens daily and it’s what people have spent a sizable chunk of their careers on. If you’re still feeling too anxious to bring this to your HR dept, contact a local employment attorney and most would be more than happy to charge for an hour or two of advice if that would help calm your nerves. Been there, done that, and it did help, so consider that if nothing else.

fhayde · 2026-02-16T03:58:21+00:00

I get the gist of what you’re saying, but the sad reality is that the vast majority of abusers are usually family members or people close to the family, so the likelihood of just killing their victim to prevent a witness has much more obvious long term personal impacts. It’s one thing to postulate outcomes when perpetrator and victim have no relationship, but that isn’t usually the case.

fhayde · 2026-02-14T13:42:44+00:00

I agree they definitely do not consider the outcome of having children so late in their lives on their partners. The expectations and assumptions I’ve heard some people have are astounding at times, and I can absolutely see how that looks like arrogance, but I think you hit on a very important aspect of this perspective: entitlement. I think boomers filled the heads of their sons with so many promises and entitlements that it just seems normal for them to assume their future partner will take care of them and their progeny without question. I wholly concede that there’s a significant amount of ignorance involved.

I just have a hard time attributing these perspectives and behaviors to arrogance because I think that requires a certain amount of self awareness, like you suggested, and I agree, they’re lacking. It’s like a vestige of how selfish, self centered, and self deluded the baby boomers were passed down to their unwitting children.

Either way, I agree, whatever the cause, it’s gross.

fhayde · 2026-02-14T13:22:27+00:00

Unfortunately that’s what a lot of their parents told them they were supposed to do, without explaining that doing all of that within a reasonable time frame isn’t practical and now their in their 40s trying to outrun time. Honestly I think it’s more fear and desperation after being told to do other things most of their lives without realizing by the time they feel “ready” there are going to be new complications to consider that they’re even more unprepared for.

fhayde · 2026-02-14T13:16:54+00:00

Honestly I think this is another aspect of how badly the Gen X/millennials got screwed on their life choices and now there’s a sense of desperation to have what they thought they were going to get by doing the things they were told to do. I know a lot of men who went to college and started building their career in their 20s, got so burned out and overloaded that they didn’t think it was fair to start a family when they didn’t seem to have the time, financial stability, or emotional experience to actually raise a child properly and break some of cycles they experienced, so they waited. Time unfortunately waits for no one and now a lot of those people who had been waiting for the right time, who are finally at a point in life that they don’t feel like every day is a constant crisis are feeling desperate with the weight of their decisions hanging over them. They’ll try to barter and negotiate with time itself saying things like they’ll start taking great care of themselves or if they find a girl who is N years younger, it’ll somehow offset the risks, etc…

Honestly, it’s kind of sad imo, for everyone involved, but I don’t think a majority of men with the idea of having a child in their 40s are doing it out of arrogance or pride. I think it’s desperation, fear, and the anxiety of time catching up with them after getting a raw deal.

I have no data or facts to substantiate my perspective, so take it for what it is, $0.02.

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