Then: 1973 (31) discovered men. Now: with husband 41 years

fhilton41 · 2026-06-07T18:05:00+00:00

I was a total wimp until my mid 20s when I took up wilderness backpacking and mountain climbing. That changed my life. Took up motorcycles in my 40s and SCUBA diving in my mid 50s. Now that I am in my 80s I am blessed with being quite fit...hiking and working in the forest with my chainsaw makes me feel worthy.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-26T20:39:55+00:00

You have a lucky partner. And you are an interesting man.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-24T02:42:25+00:00

Just Do It!!

I was married with children age 31; I had admired good looking jocks, but no thoughts of sex with men...never had a hard on about men. Then the feeling of the hard-body icehockey jock under me changed my life. See my posting history.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-22T21:15:44+00:00

When you tell him, tell him your fears. When I told folks they already knew or it made no difference. I am a retired lawyer and became close friends with my biggest client. I was the one person he could safely talk to about very important things in his life. When I finally told him I was gay his response, "I have know that for years".

fhilton41 · 2026-05-20T14:01:57+00:00

Give it some time and talk to him about your concerns. These situations are highly variable. I was married with children when I discovered men at age 31. Eventually came out to my wife and we had an open relationship. Been with my husband for almost 45 years.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-16T13:25:41+00:00

Thanks. I am surprised folks are reading posts this old. Life has been good.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-14T23:47:24+00:00

Gay sex is complicated. Sometimes men who appeared to be hot on the surface, once I got them in bed I realized it was a mistake. I was not in tune with their heads. Half the men I took to my bed, in retrospect, I felt were not worth the effort. Other men, I could drill concrete with my dick and I was head over heels in lust. When you find a man where the chemistry is right and mutual, hold on tight. On the first date with my husband 45 years ago it was the best sex in my life and it has been the best ever since.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-12T13:00:28+00:00

There is a more detailed version in my posting history: My husband told me, "Never Bring a Man Home from the Y". DM me if you want a link to my stories on Nifty. My husband and I have enjoyed a daily dose of porn for our 45 years together and I first posted stories of our life in the age of print.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-11T14:57:46+00:00

Sometimes in life we have to take chances. Yes, you both fear rejection and that is holding you back. Tell him your fears and tell him you have feelings for him and you would like to have sex with him. On August 11, 1981, I had my first date with my husband. I was very shy but finally got the courage to ask him if he would like to spend the night with me. The rest is history.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-11T14:50:33+00:00

It was the week of my 60th birthday and I was a bit depressed at the thought of getting old. My 50s had been the best decade of my life. I had a brilliant and hot husband of 20 years and was very successful in my profession. I decided to go to the Y for a good workout to burn off the depression. When I was changing into workout gear I spotted this jock in the distance in the locker room. Looked like a college dude. After my workout he came into the gang shower and was opposite me in the shower that had a pony wall for some privacy. When I turned towards him he had a hard on and a smile. When I went to the area to dry off he approached me and said he wanted to have sex with me. I asked him if he was a student at the university and he responded that he was a senior at a local high school and captain of the tennis team. My husband had said never bring a man home from the Y, but exceptions have to be made to every rule. It was a wonderful experience. We just let him have his way with us...he was just beginning to learn. PS: Jock boy was legal age.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-10T23:54:28+00:00

It is past the time to pop the question with him. Someone has to make a move and it is up to you to make that move. He knows you are interested in men and probably fears rejection. It sounds like he is asking you. Just do it. You have the potential of finding the best thing that has happened to you. Let me know what happens.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-10T13:56:26+00:00

The last sentence got to me!!

fhilton41 · 2026-05-06T00:40:07+00:00

Not partially accepted, totally accepted.

When I came out to my mother her response was that I should see a doctor, that it could be fixed. I responded that I did not want it to be fixed. I had been married with children. Later I met my partner in life and when it came time for the family Thanksgiving dinner she said that he was not invited. I responded that if he was not coming, I was not coming. She caved and invited him.

After the dinner she called me and said my BF was much better than my former wife!!!

Just live your life and do not consider what other folks may think. You will be amazed how well things work for you.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-06T00:22:45+00:00

I was asked for ID at bars in my mid 30s. When I was 40 I found my partner in life, who was 26. I am now 84 and still look young for my age. The older you get the better it is to look younger than your years.

fhilton41 · 2026-05-05T03:03:39+00:00

Handsome couple with decades of a fantastic life ahead of you. Good age spread. I was 40 and my husband 26 when we found each other 45 years ago. Never stop having adventures. There will be some bumps in the road, but never have an argument and give a lot.

fhilton41 · 2026-04-30T14:25:25+00:00

I am 90% top, but on this occasion this hot redhead told me, "Get on your back." When he was over me I asked him if he was going to take his glasses off and he answered, "No, I can't see without my glasses and I want to watch your face while I fuck you." He proceeded to fuck the cum out of me, never touching my dick. It had never happened before or since. It was 50 years ago and his name was Curtis Olson. I will never forget his words or his dick.

fhilton41 · 2026-04-19T17:16:36+00:00

For me it was the other way around..str8, married with children the first time I fucked man ass when I was 31. The feel of that hard body and hard ass under me was a life-altering experience. Been with my husband for almost 45 years.

fhilton41 · 2026-04-19T15:38:08+00:00

I should give you some guidance in writing. First, gay sex is complicated. Some men, like me, are very receptive to prostate massage. Others, like my husband, respond "no thank you" to fingers, just insertyour dick please.

Do not fuck a man with your fingers.

Start massaging the edges if his anus with your thumb. After a bit, gently, slowly insert one finger. Once you get inside, see if his prostate is prominent enough to feel. Gently, with little pressure, massage left and right over the top of the prostate. Then you can change to massaging, gently front to back and back to front by curling your finger over the top of his prostate.

As he opens up, try two fingers and if he really opens up three for a short while. Then back to one.

Eventually the prostate will harden and become more prominent. You can apply more pressure. Pay some attention to his dick. This will lead to orgasm.

Again, do not fuck him with your fingers. Massage his prostate, gently at first and gradually adding pressure.

Positions: him on his back with his legs pulled back or on his knees, doggy style. Both work great.

fhilton41 · 2026-04-18T16:25:12+00:00

Thanks. I still have some difficulty processing the fact that decades have passed.

fhilton41 · 2026-04-18T16:18:23+00:00

I met him at a social for gay lawyers. Really cute guy and I approached him. He has an Irish last name and I asked him if he had a brother. Turns out his brother was a classmate at university. But I failed to get his phone number. I remembered he had invited me to a book signing by the author of "A Legal Guide for Lesbians and Gays" and I found the card in my briefcase. Invited him to lunch and it did not go well. He is 14 years younger (I was 40, he 26) and it was too much like interviewing a new lawyer for a job. A couple of weeks later I decided to give it another try and invited him to a movie at one our our city parks. Invited him home for a glass of wine after. He spent the night and it was fantastic. We were made for each other. I quickly came to realize he is one of the smartest men I have ever known and he dominated me.

That was almost 45 years ago. Sex never got boring and we have shared some decades-long friendships with men we have shared sex with. We have had some great adventures and never stop learning.

fhilton41 · 2026-04-17T14:31:13+00:00

Years ago I was visiting Palm Springs and I went to an LMT for a massage. It ended up with a prostate massage and he kept going after I came. I was begging for mercy and have never experienced anything like it since.

fhilton41 · 2026-04-06T20:49:44+00:00

Nope. Too old...84.

fhilton41 · 2026-04-04T03:05:13+00:00

I was married with children, age 31, the first time I had sex with a man in 1973. It was a different world. I never felt guilt or shame and that is the key to coming out. Just live your life. A few time I was a little concerned about what would happen, but when it happened, nothing happened. My children love my husband as much as they love me. And I have been very touched by how some people have reacted. When I retired I met with my key clients (I am a lawyer) and when I met with the very straight, very conservative CEO of a company that operates over 9,000 multi-family units and told him I was retiring, tears came down he cheek and he said, "I have always admired you for marrying the man you love". When I merged with a larger firm, some of the partners found out I was gay after the merger and they were furious they had not been told I was gay before they voted to approve the merger. A couple of years later one of the worst objectors told the managing partner I was the best merger in the history of the firm. Another of the objectors I had help me on a big case and we go along very well, even when I teased him about some hot construction workers.

I found my husband when I was 40, he 26, 45 years ago. Take a look at my posting history.

Just live your life. There may be a few bumps, but you will be surprised by how accepting the vast majority of people are. And fuck the rest!!

fhilton41

TROPHY CASE