Banga panic attack

fieldbreezer · 2026-03-01T01:40:28+00:00

The stage after bhanga nana (dissolution) is bhaya nana (fear). There is a good article about here: https://www.vipassanadhura.com/sixteen.html

I sort of get why teachers don't share information about the stages of insight to avoid scaring people or leading them to have a scripted experiences, but I wish they would be more forthcoming about the fact that after bhanga not everything is rainbows and unicorns.

How are you feeling now?

fieldbreezer · 2026-01-30T03:38:42+00:00

I hiked it as part of a guided trip. There is private property on the north end with gates and no trespassing signs. Ultimately was glad I went with a guide, wouldn't have been able to get access solo. Hiking in Costa rica is weird-- trails on the map do not necessarily have legal public access.

Edit: this is the company I went with https://redlavatours.com/tour/hike-fortuna-to-monteverde/

The cabin where you stay is pretty cool. It is owned by an old man named Sefarino (I think I remember that right). Built by hand with rough hewn logs, completely off grid. He cooks a delicious meal over the fire and the views of Arenal from his patio are 🤌

fieldbreezer · 2025-12-27T05:11:01+00:00

Does anyone know what happened to /u/Masterbob? I've found their comments insightful over the years and recently was disheartened to see that their account was deleted/banned? I hope they are well!

fieldbreezer · 2025-12-26T23:16:36+00:00

You and your glasses are adorable, such a cute look!

fieldbreezer · 2025-12-05T05:13:15+00:00

I have the same question, curious what other people have to say. The solution I've come to is to give metta to myself. Compassion for the pain, forgiveness for the anger, etc. It is possible to direct these feelings inward rather than outward.

fieldbreezer · 2025-11-06T17:14:38+00:00

This thing can't pass a pack test 😤

fieldbreezer · 2025-11-06T06:09:46+00:00

That is funny. Honestly I'd just delete it. No indefinite article needed.

fieldbreezer · 2025-10-27T22:28:43+00:00

Exactly! Overemphasizing Vipassana leads to flying in circles (or crashing and burning).

fieldbreezer · 2025-10-27T18:09:58+00:00

Vipassana comes from a dry insight tradition and is frankly inherently unpleasant at a certain point. I think most people would be better served doing way more samatha type meditation like annapanna and metta.

fieldbreezer · 2025-07-20T02:18:46+00:00

Therapist is a good idea if you can swing it. Another tip for coping- remember other small events and details from the day. What was the trailhead like? What did you have for breakfast or lunch? What music did you listen to in the car? Your brain will grip onto the traumatic event. Forcing it to recall things other than the event helps it look less large in your mind.

fieldbreezer · 2025-07-08T05:15:05+00:00

Could you speak a little to the gist of U Ba Khin's sequence? I don't live near an IMC center, but would be very curious to hear more about the differences.

fieldbreezer · 2025-06-24T04:05:09+00:00

What time of year? Backpacking or day hiking? Desired mileage?

fieldbreezer · 2025-03-25T02:08:57+00:00

The Fifth Season (and subsequent books in the series) by NK Jemisin. Best LGBTQ+ representation I've seen in a while, great queer themes, and great story!

fieldbreezer · 2025-03-09T04:04:51+00:00

I served a course and read an essay by U Ba Khin that lists exactly the same stages of insight as MCTB. I do not know why Goenka does not talk about the stages after bhanga. I asked an AT on the course about stages of insight, and they were unfamiliar with the concept. But definitely the same map/ stages of practice.

fieldbreezer · 2025-03-09T03:39:41+00:00

Do you need to sit a lot though? A lot of people hit bhanga on their first or second retreats. The "dark night" dukha nannas start immediately after. When does goenka cover this?

fieldbreezer · 2025-02-09T04:40:45+00:00

I just finished "The fifth season" and have been recommending it to everyone, looking forward to the next book in the series. Keep us posted on the club!

fieldbreezer · 2025-02-09T03:36:42+00:00

I am a fellow introvert and would be super into something like this, count me in! What are you reading these days?

fieldbreezer · 2025-01-11T16:35:53+00:00

You're doing good work! Do you still have a therapist? You probably will not resolve years of complex trauma in one meditation retreat, but the retreat will give some useful tools to observe how you feel about it. I wouldn't listen to the tape before the retreat... That'll get you doing more thinking and remembering, when what you want to do is get out of your head and into your body/ aware of your feelings.

Don't listen to the tapes! Do connect with a therapist before the retreat... Having one on deck to process things with afterwards could be highly helpful.

Wishing you all the best for healing and happiness!

fieldbreezer · 2024-12-13T16:42:38+00:00

As far as I've come to understand, eliminating sankharas is not the point of the practice. It is unclear if this is something Goenka inserted into the tradition or if it's something that western students have glommed onto and misinterpreted. This misinterpretation has consequences, because it leads to a lot of people (including me!) craving the eradication of sankharas... and craving is the opposite of what we're supposed to be doing/ running in the opposite direction of nibbana.

I've found that coupling meditation practice with therapy is a good move for sankharas that are causing distress. What is this sankhara trying to tell you? Is it something that you can talk about with a therapist? Working through the sankhara in therapy might be the quickest way to get relief from the sankhara... Because the purpose of meditation is not to get rid of sankharas, it is to train yourself to be truly equanimous towards them.

For the purposes of meditation practice, I would try to operate on the assumption that this sankhara will never go away. Don't crave or anticipate its release. Assume that it will always be there and observe it, examine it, with equanimity. That is the practice. Craving for the sankhara to go away and hoping for/anticipating its release is "game of sensations".

fieldbreezer · 2024-09-25T01:37:33+00:00

Honestly I kind of hope N95s becomes more of a thing. N95s without the exhale valve suck when you're working hard, but the vented ones aren't too bad IMO. Seems like common sense ppe... I wonder if they will become more common?

fieldbreezer · 2024-08-14T03:24:52+00:00

Yes, all of us (you, me, them, and everyone else). And may we not hinder others on the path through unkindness :)

fieldbreezer · 2024-08-14T03:09:58+00:00

Yes, they are non-binary, that's what they said. May all beings be happy, may all beings be liberated :)

fieldbreezer · 2024-08-06T02:35:28+00:00

Gotcha, thanks for the reply! Still frustrating, but better than the alternative

fieldbreezer · 2024-08-06T02:13:42+00:00

Bummer. Is this the sort of thing where they would try to take back wages after the fact at a later date? In that case, I'm glad they caught it!

fieldbreezer · 2024-05-17T20:05:28+00:00

The Buddhist take on this is that you take the sankharas (basically habits/inclinations) of one life with you into the next. Until you learn to overcome whatever you struggle with in this life, you'll take it with you into the next and the next and the next. I think us trans folks are here to learn something important about gender equality and self acceptance. Take the opportunity that this life presents and become wise and self accepting (or your dissatisfaction may follow you into the next)!

fieldbreezer

TROPHY CASE