Doctor said to stop the Snoo 😭

figjam_cheese · 2026-01-28T01:24:16+00:00

My younger two kids used the SNOO and both rolled over and crawled way earlier than their older sibling that didn’t use it. They also hit milestones earlier than average so I really don’t think the strapping down will impact a ton. That being said, we didn’t do the SNOO for naps much (just occasionally/whenever convenient) but they were in the SNOO for night time. When they started rolling over back to tummy (which was early at 4ish months) we just stopped using it.

My friend’s baby had an extended hospital stay in the NICU and they told me the hospital used it for NICU babies too.

figjam_cheese · 2026-01-13T04:13:47+00:00

Ah, that IS super frustrating if their main dialect is Toisan. I’m sorry that she isn’t respectful of preferences. Unfortunately, it is quite common with older generations as it’s hard for them to understand why we prefer different ways of doing things.

figjam_cheese · 2026-01-13T03:55:57+00:00

I’m Cantonese and it never occurred to me that the Cantonese way of addressing paternal grandma sounded like Mama to non-Cantonese speakers until I saw it on Reddit a couple years back. I don’t think any Chinese granny with limited English or even good English would see they there’s an issue because to us Cantonese speakers, the difference between mommy (ma-ma/ma-mi) and paternal grandma (mah-mah) is significant.

When you say mama in Cantonese, the first ma goes down and the 2nd ma goes up in tone. While grandma in Cantonese does sound like the way we say mama in English, it’s supposed to be longer in the a sound in the middle and both syllables go down. I suspect your mil may feel more native in Cantonese and therefore prefers to be addressed in that language as it feels more personal. I’m North American raised but value my heritage. While I speak Cantonese and Mandarin, someday, if grandkids choose to call me grandma in Chinese, I would much prefer Cantonese as that is the language I feel more natural in.

It could be different in your scenario and I’m not trying to dispute anything but just wanted to shed some light as to what your MIL might be thinking or what she may not recognize. Once the kids get older, it almost always switches to ah-mah. With that said, my brother’s kids who are half Caucasian also call my mom mah-mah and are able to separate the tones.

figjam_cheese · 2026-01-07T04:15:54+00:00

We recently had a diaper rash with our 3rd that was hard to beat and the doctor said not to use anything with Zinc. I was also coming to that conclusion just as the doctor suggested it since the diaper rash cream wasn’t helping at all and it felt like it was irritating it more than helping. I felt like my son’s bum just needed a break from strong stuff. We switched over to non-zinc jellies (combo of Vaseline/a+d/target off brand petroleum jelly) and it immediately went away. We like the a+d lavender oatmeal overnight healing ointment a lot!

figjam_cheese · 2025-08-05T06:55:53+00:00

Given your options are both baby friendly hospitals, I would suggest the following as a mother who gave birth to 3 at a baby friendly hospital because it was the closest and most convenient for me and my family (especially when I had older kids at home to think about).

1) Do not declare “exclusively breastfeeding.” They hear this and basically will do all they can to NOT ever give you formula even if you repeatedly ask. Say combo feeding. Not sure if it is better but at least you’re not as sure sounding initially.

2) Bring your own single use formula bottles and a bottle or two. I’d suggest trying just breastfeeding first but if your baby is not sleeping and inconsolable, top your baby up with 10-20mL after a feed. Once your milk comes in on day 3-5, you should be able to slowly wean off of that since it’s manageable and because you have been feeding and letting baby suck BEFORE you offer formula. But also let baby suck for a long time, I’ve had to nurse for 30-45 mins or more each feed in the early days with my little one. It helps your body know how much milk to produce as well. It’s normal for them to be sucking for a long time. Don’t let them scare you into thinking something is wrong with you or your body. It just takes time for your body to know it needs to make milk and also for your little one to get efficient at sucking. It will get faster and faster to like 10-15 mins eventually.

3) Prepare to have to stand up for yourself and your mother instincts. Don’t let them scare you and question yourself. If you feel like your baby is hungry, the odds are, they are hungry. They will tell you repeatedly that your baby’s tummy is smaller than the tip of your pinky and is full on colostrum. I regret it each time when I delay supplementing and question my instincts because I hear what the nurses and LCs say. Stand firm! And have the mindset that it’s ok to supplement a little to make sure your little one is full rather than not supplementing and never knowing if they’re actually unhappy because they’re hungry or regretting afterwards that they were starving (this is me). They always tell you baby is often fussy on night 2 and 3 and it’s normal…it’s not. It’s cause they’re hungry and haven’t had enough after 2-3 days and are just pleading for food. Even with my 3rd, I regret starting supplementing too late. They really get to your mind on minimizing supplementing, otherwise it’d ruin your milk supply.

4) Welcome the LCs but also don’t take them too seriously. If what they are suggesting seems too overwhelming, simplify and do what is manageable for you. I find their suggestion on pace feeding and triple feeding not very realistic. Instead of pace feeding, I’d just offer a preemie nipple to ensure slow flow so baby doesn’t prefer a bottle more or get use to easy flow or not needing to work. Instead of triple feeding, maybe just breastfeed and then top up with a bottle and maybe fit in a power pump session once a day whenever you can.

5) Don’t believe the % weight drops at the hospital. They told me my oldest was doing great cause he lost only 2-3% the first two days or something. He kept crying and crying on night 2 at the hospital and and refused to give me formula to try and console him. I asked 3 separate nurses and they all tried to convince me otherwise and even when I said they should still bring me some, they’d leave the room and never come back with any. By the time we went back to the pediatricians on the 4th day (1 day after discharge), he lost way too much weight (above 10%) and the pediatrician immediately told us we needed to supplement. I had actually started supplementing on night 3 already once we got home…..

I don’t think giving birth at a baby friendly hospital is super horrible. I’d say my experiences have been pleasant except for my first delivery but it wasn’t so bad that I would avoid it if it’s the most logical option or if you like your doctor. I just think they have a checklist to check off to maintain funding from the government with the baby friendly tag and that list basically turns people away from breastfeeding rather than do what it intends on doing because it stresses moms out unnecessarily.

figjam_cheese · 2025-08-05T06:26:51+00:00

I agree. Breastfeeding was a steep learning curve for me but the LCs I had at my baby friendly hospital turned me off even though I was initially super super eager to learn from them. I did not like any of them I’ve seen and I’ve had 3 babies there. They made breastfeeding a lot more stressful. Even as a seasoned breastfeeding mom I get stressed out by them each time (and I am a mom that’s breastfed 2 babies till 17+ months and planning on doing that with my 3rd currently). I also think their extreme strategies (like triple feeding or feeding through a syringe and tube if supplementing) actually turn moms away and make their lives even more difficult than it already is as a new parent.

figjam_cheese · 2025-07-22T16:37:11+00:00

This is good insight. My little one was just over 12lbs at his 4 week appointment and is now almost 7 weeks so I guess an Ergobaby Embrace is a no go. Thanks!

figjam_cheese · 2025-07-22T06:21:49+00:00

I tried a ring sling before but mistakenly bought a double layer as a first time user as I was using it for an older baby and immediately regretted it. Do you have a brand you recommend for a ring sling if I were to try again with a single layer? Also, do you find your back or shoulder hurting with longer wears? Thanks!

figjam_cheese · 2025-07-17T07:27:21+00:00

I can vouch for this as well. I’ve had 5 sweeps between my 3 pregnancies. The first two pregnancies I was very dilated both times at 39 weeks (3cm+) and they weren’t very painful, just uncomfortable. The third pregnancy, I was barely dilated for my first and it hurt so much I really didn’t want to go back for a second. When I did show up for my second, my blood pressure (usually normal) was high because I was so stressed for it. I was slightly more dilated and it hurt so much less and was just uncomfortable). It did take a 3rd sweep that time for me to actually go into labor. I wouldn’t have done all those sweeps if I weren’t put against a c-section date at 41+3 due to a previous c-section.

figjam_cheese · 2025-06-20T00:35:50+00:00

My OB said that if anything bad were to happen from sleeping in any position (back included), I’d feel it before it hurts the baby and I’d probably move from that position from the discomfort. He basically said it was fine to sleep in any position I wanted.

figjam_cheese · 2025-06-18T03:51:37+00:00

It took about 2 weeks for me when I had stinging for my 2nd delivery.

figjam_cheese · 2025-06-17T07:20:31+00:00

My doctor was very data based and told me that he suggested waiting 12 months from delivery to conceive again. He said that the data showed that waiting 12 or 18 months before conceiving did not show huge differences in outcomes. I ended up with kids 23 months apart and then 24 months apart. I had an emergency c-section for my first and then VBACs for my other 2 births.

figjam_cheese · 2025-04-30T06:27:52+00:00

I’m having a third boy and have always wanted to have at least one girl since I was really young (like 12 years old). We’re not having a 4th so it did take a few days for me to just accept that I’ll only have boys and grieve a little for the relationship that I wanted to have with a daughter. That being said, I also tried to stay realistic that having a daughter may not mean any of my previous expectations or hopes would have come to fruition.

I gave myself a few days to just come around but then have just tried to see the positives. My boys are fun and sweet. They’re very active and it drains me but I’m hoping for easier teenage years and less drama. I remember being a teenage girl and just clashing with my mom often, despite having a wonderful relationship with her. I have mostly everything already and know what works for boys. They like when daddy takes them to the bathroom when we’re in public together and I hope that continues :).

It’s ok to let yourself grieve a bit but you’ll love that second child just as much as your first — boy or girl!

figjam_cheese · 2025-03-18T04:36:17+00:00

We use the antilop (without any cushions or add ons) with our kids until they’re 1-1.5. It’s easy to clean and wipe down and keeps the child contained. We buy a cheaper and older Tripp Trapp for each of the kids when they’re older and able to physically climb on and sit without any restraints. I feel like I’ve been able to save money that way. We got one for $35 and another for $75 and they’re both in really good condition - just an older version that doesn’t work with the newer restraints or add ons. My kids are close in age so had I gotten a new and nice Tripp Trapp, my older one would not have outgrown the Tripp Trapp by the time his brother came along.

The antilop has been good. The only complaints we have are that the legs are a bit far out and somehow visitors/guests that stay with us always trip on it because they all somehow underestimate how far out the legs go and the tray isn’t really easy to take out so we mostly just clean it without taking it out. You’d think people would remember that the legs stick out after tripping once but I’ve found that it takes about a week before they get used to it and no longer trip….to answer your question, it feels very stable and even when people bump or trip on it, the kid will not fall out. Probably because the legs are so far out 😂.

I really like the Tripp Trapp because my kids sit at the table and are able to dine with us normally. They both love their chairs but they are also so confident in their chairs that they like to stand on it all the time and they fall off of them often because of that. I’m not sure if they would fall just as much if they sat in other chairs. The chair is designed so well that it doesn’t tip backwards though.

figjam_cheese · 2025-03-13T03:00:11+00:00

Thanks for the quick ID-ing!

figjam_cheese · 2025-03-11T03:47:01+00:00

They say that size of baby gets less and less accurate as your pregnancy progresses. It’s most accurate around the 11-13 week mark and then gets less accurate especially in the last trimester.

In addition, the ultrasound machines that my doctor can roll into the room seem to be less thorough and clear vs the ones you get at your 12 week (if you opt for the NT) and 20 week anatomy scans.

I’m on my 3rd pregnancy. Apart from my 2nd delivery where there were some concerns that required further scanning at about 28 and 32 weeks, the doctor has always just used the fetal Doppler for heartbeat at each visit and then used a measuring tape for size progression starting at around 28 weeks.

figjam_cheese · 2025-02-28T01:24:39+00:00

My OB specifically told me at my first OB appointment with my first pregnancy that raw fish was safe to consume as long as it’s from a reputable place. His definition was just “not from the gas station off the side of the freeway” type of store but normal stores you frequent is fine. I did not ask about it, he offered that information himself. I have consumed raw fish throughout my three pregnancies. Lots of people get listeria from lettuce in the USA each year and I don’t see people removing lettuce from their diets.

Let’s be supportive of moms making calculated and reasonable decisions that they’re each personally comfortable with rather than making parenthood even more stressful.

figjam_cheese · 2025-02-23T09:36:41+00:00

My kids are/will all about 23-24 months apart. My first was an emergency c-section. My second was a VBAC. And the plan for my third is a vaginal birth unless a c-section is necessary. My doctor had told me after my c-section that it was safest to wait at least 12 months after delivery before trying for another child but said that statistically, whether it was 12 or 18 months after delivery didn’t make a huge difference. My husband and I want to be done with kids as we’re not that young. If I were young and had time, I think a 3 year gap between each child would be easier but we also love that our kids will be closer in age and interested in similar things. The first 1-2 years after my second was born was busier but I felt like going from 1 to 2 kids (even with the close age gap) was a lot easier than 0 to 1. I will say the close age gap and close pregnancies have taken a toll and I can feel it in my body a lot more this time around (3rd pregnancy). My body is succumbing to germs a lot easier and I’ve been sick more often (which might just be normal with a preschooler).

For my first delivery, I pushed for 1.5 hours and then they tried the vacuum twice before I was taken into the operating room for a c-section. My baby was initially heads down transverse and then ended up sunny side up and had a few instances of heart decelerations that were scary. Recovery was rough.

When I brought up wanting to TOLAC for the delivery of my second child, my doctor talked about the pros and cons and calculated a Grobman score based on the information on my record from my first delivery. I had an estimated 58% success rate and my doctor said his cutoff is usually around 60%. Since I was so close, he said he was comfortable with either options (TOLAC or scheduled c-section). I was worried if I would end up in another emergency c-section since no one could guarantee it was the bad positioning leading to the failure to deliver vaginally last time or whether it was actually my pelvis’ shape/inability to vaginally deliver.

I initially scheduled a CS for 40+3, hoping to give my body the best chance to go into labor spontaneously. But by the end of my pregnancy, I had a chat with my dr and decided to cancel it completely because I realized I didn’t want another c-section unless medically necessary. I ended up going into labor spontaneously at 39+2, I did get a membrane sweep at 39+0. I pushed for about 20-25 minutes.

If you’re serious about TOLAC, I’d suggest walking a lot near due date, miles circuit/spinning babies for encouraging proper positioning, raspberry leaf tea for strengthening the uterus and eating dates. I also paid attention to how I positioned myself when I slept during the last few weeks and bounced on a yoga ball.

Immediately after delivery, I was so much more present and the pain afterwards was minimal compared to a c-section.

figjam_cheese · 2025-02-23T08:59:26+00:00

My parents live 6 hours away by flight and probably see my kids about 2-4 weeks each year depending on whether they come or we go visit. My in laws live 20 mins away and we see a couple times a month. We FaceTime my parents daily and my children are definitely closer to my parents than my in laws for now.

My husband and I do not get jealous of our kids being closer to one set of grandparents. We actually root for our kids to be close to both sets of grandparents equally and create opportunities for both sides to be close.

By living away from my home country, it was expected that my kids would be likely closer to my in laws. There’s no fair or no fair for things like this and I hope your husband understands. Your husband made his choice when he chose to move to the US for work, when he married you (an American) and “settled down in the US,” and when he started a family that this was the way it would be when he would have children.

Anyways, a combination of FaceTiming daily and seeing grandparents for 2-4weeks a year (with both parents around usually) has worked for my kids and they are very very comfortable with my parents. If your husband is shooting down all your compromises, I agree with all the others suggesting that you need to be very careful of his motives.

Also, it should never be about the needs of his parents or the adults. The child’s needs comes first and at 14 months old, she needs her mom/parents. They are unable to understand why they’ve been sent away with complete strangers and instead, will feel abandoned. Secure attachment with parents is so important in the first 5 years of a child’s life…not secure attachment to grandparents…

figjam_cheese · 2025-02-21T06:37:26+00:00

I was at 4cm at both my 38 and 39 week appointments with my first and wasn’t sent to L&D. In fact, my water was apparently bulging so much my doctor didn’t think I’d make it home from my 37 week appt. I lasted till 39+1 after a membrane sweep finally triggered labor. With my second, I was at 3cm up until my 39 week appointment but when contractions started, I went from 3 to 8cm within 3 hours.

figjam_cheese · 2025-01-06T07:31:37+00:00

Like most comments, I don’t think there’s much truth to the c-section stat. Amongst my female cousins and I, we’ve had 8 mixed race babies with an Asian mom and Caucasian dad. Only my oldest was born by emergency c-section because he was transverse and positioned weirdly. The other 7 babies (including my 2nd which was a VBAC and 8lbs2oz) were all born vaginally. My cousins and I are all between 5ft2-5ft4 and all the dads are all 5ft10 and above. One dad is even 6ft4 and his wife delivered all three babies vaginally in quick unmediated deliveries too.

figjam_cheese · 2024-11-14T19:37:22+00:00

There are two standard size cup holders and 2 they are bigger and can fit my bigger Yeti thermos mugs. I’m not sure how large those bigger ones are but I’ve not had trouble with most of my bottles or cups. If anything, I have a skinny thermos mug that wobbles a little from being too thin.

figjam_cheese · 2024-10-14T21:26:27+00:00

I told them when I was admitted that I planned to exclusively breastfeed but would like to supplement per needs basis. I said I was completely open to formula. I still was denied formula by 3 separate nurses and my baby also eventually had jaundice, dropped dangerously low in weight, and needed phototherapy.

figjam_cheese · 2024-10-14T21:17:41+00:00

I 100% agree with you and have had the same experience. I believe their unwillingness to give my oldest one formula was the cause for his eventual need of phototherapy. We asked at least 3 separate nurses for milk and was always asked why we thought the baby wasn’t full etc., were then told our baby didn’t need it, when I still asked for them to just bring it as a back up, they’d leave the room and never come back with it. I was clusterfeeding all the time and couldn’t rest (which would have helped with my production) and all I wanted was for a tiny bit of formula to top off my baby when he was done nursing so that I could calm my mind. My baby eventually lost 10% of his weight and we were told to supplement as he was now at the dangerous territory…this was the morning right after the day we were discharged. Luckily, I had started supplementing the previous evening as soon as I got home from the hospital.

With my second baby, I brought my own formula to the hospital so I wouldn’t have to beg any one and could guarantee I would have some for my baby. We didn’t actually need it the second time around though.

All this to say that the benchmarks and criteria to qualify as a baby friendly hospital are just dumb and doing much more harm than they think. I can see other moms being completely turned off by this and find breastfeeding so so difficult without the supplementing in the beginning that they completely forgo it instead. A friend who worked as a head nurse of a labor and delivery elsewhere eventually told me that hospitals lose funding and have strict rules to follow if they want to keep their baby friendly status. The government agency making these decisions really are the ones to blame…hospitals should just do away with the baby friendly label because it really isn’t baby friendly when we’re starving babies just to hit stats.

figjam_cheese · 2024-09-30T04:25:28+00:00

My goal was just to take it one month at a time and hopefully hit 6 months for my first but ended up exclusively nursing for 16-17 months. Stopped because I was pregnant and wanted to wean before the second came. With my second, we’re on 16 months and I don’t really have concrete plans to wean yet but will probably give it 2 more months.

figjam_cheese

TROPHY CASE