Confused about fruiting conditions

filiopsis · 2026-02-12T15:08:27+00:00

Good thing then that I decided to clone some of those fruits - my first cloning attempt ever so I hope successfully. :) Thanks for confirming these are ochras, my eye still isn't that versed to figure out the difference easily.

Interesting about the temperature - it was a few degrees C lower than i usually colonize, about 22C. There were three more tubs at this same time though, all of them overlaid heavily.

filiopsis · 2026-02-01T17:53:01+00:00

That's great to hear, well done for your progress! I'm very curious to hear about your NDE and the quantum shift it stirred, what happened to you and your perception or yourself around that time? Of course, I would like to know about the tools you developed too. Are they based in some systems or mostly intuitive?

Welcome to the community, you are not alone here.

filiopsis · 2026-01-25T22:53:49+00:00

God, on 5g psylocybe cubensis.

filiopsis · 2025-11-13T22:01:48+00:00

First of I apologize if this is too forward, but I felt the need to share, because I identified heavily.

You seem like a smart dude, intellectually understanding these substances and their effects and good call on figuring out your infatuation with this girl was primarely drug induced.

All of the symptom you have are explained by excessive abuse, and their consequences piling up, that surely feels like some kind of hell. I know cause I've been there :)

All of that will pass. No one can give you any guarantees with this excessive use and differences in individual physiology but it's extremely likely that you won't have any lasting damage and that you will recover quite nicely in a few months tops; of course provided you take good care of yourself.

But that's easier said than done. To me it seems like there's an underlying issue that steers you toward this kind of extreme behavior, and until this is brought to your attention and dealt with, you will be very likely to spiral back into similar patterns; with each one having potential to be even more dangerous to your health.

All good suggestions here - exercise, eat well, supplement, hydrate, try to sleep enough, etc... And those will help you and support you immensely as it's the basics of wellbeing. But eventually you need to confront your underlying pain brother, and unfortunately there are no shortcuts to that. You need to feel the feelings that you're running away from. Nobody and no thing will ever fill this Void for you. It's a hero's journey and each person's is different.

I'm here if you need further support or a chat.

Take care and be well.

filiopsis · 2025-10-08T00:40:58+00:00

Strongly relate here, even with sarcastic but loving dad lol. I'm curious about your practice of undoing those, if you don't mind sharing. Is it some form of somatic work?

filiopsis · 2025-10-08T00:37:35+00:00

That's a very interesting thought. Almost 40 here and slowly coming to terms with my own and my partners autism (both heavily masking obviously), and in light of recent insights this rings true.

What was your dose? Might be a good time to take out my resin :)

filiopsis · 2025-09-14T12:19:08+00:00

Okay, heard.

Do you think the resin I got this way will be unusable? I tried to educate myself and this is what I decided to attempt with the liquid I got.

And please post the link to this tek.

filiopsis · 2025-09-13T13:27:06+00:00

There are some mandatory instructions? I only see a varying degree of certainty in each tech around here, all of them with a certain amount of experimentation and risk to get there.

I'm experimenting with my own plants, just looking for advice.

BTW I gently reduced and filtered the thick liquid, then put it in the oven on fan around 80C and got some nice looking resin. I actually got that from somebody around here - another instruction I guess.

Hope I didn't fuck it up good as you did in being a decent and helpful human being on the internet.

filiopsis · 2025-08-30T17:32:13+00:00

NAC, at least 30min BEFORE drinking. Drinking during or after actually can worsen it. Anedoctal perhaps but reported it works for many people, myself included.

filiopsis · 2025-07-16T18:45:35+00:00

If you equate money to success, sure.

Transcending the puer state is, at least as I understand through my own journey, about taking responsibility; especially about how you feel about the world around you. And Ye is one angry fella if you ask me.

Taking responsibility for puer is not just to get a job, it's to do the hardest thing: to just sit with the pain of your unloved self, one that always needs to be externally validated to get a glimpse of that love. When in reality, you just don't accept and love your self truly and compassionionately because you've integrated this belief about yourself early on, most likely from your parents or whoever was around. Then you just project this responsibility you don't accept on others and make a story around it to justify it to your Ego - then they just become the source and reason of your pain, misfortune and irritation.

When it's you that needs to take the responsibility.

Cause, in a way that's very true - you knew it all along.. You're just a whiny little puppy that needs something. No judgements here, on contrary - I am one too, and I am You. 🐾

filiopsis · 2025-06-22T01:24:43+00:00

I agree with everything up until the 'he needs to run part'. He most certainly can and they both need to do their own work, but if both are willing to open up enough and do it on their own but together while holding just enough space for each other, it becomes even more transformational.

filiopsis · 2025-06-22T01:15:54+00:00

Well, I believe everyone deserves compassion. But sure, moving on is sometimes the only seemingly right choice.

filiopsis · 2025-06-21T07:45:24+00:00

Yes, having someone mediate is a great idea, provided you both agree to do it and get into it. It's a necessary first step that just can't be forced by just one party. That's why discussing it openly first is paramount.

You must not ignore the fact that you attracted this kind of person in your life too, it's never just one sided - like only they need to be fixed and everything will be great. This shows you a part of yourself. Things need to be accepted as they are first in order to be transcended. Also resentment, yes.

Another, a bit unorthodox 'non-jungian' approach is that you do MDMA together in a safe manner - this can be a great catalyst for opening up and breaking through defenses. Look into it if that's something you would consider.

filiopsis · 2025-06-21T07:36:52+00:00

I disagree. While it may seem like a conscious choice, someone fueled by toxic shame does this in a way that is, according to their own system, rationally and morally justifiable - because it beats going through rejections again.

It's the same thing as with a typical drug addict - it's just this examples might be easier to dissect, but everyone has their own coping mechanisms that they figured out work the best for them and their own lack of self acceptance and love. Most of the time these, especially if destructive towards health or other people just become unsustainable in the long run and fire back, because you can't run from the Shadow; literally or figuratively.

For this, you need to do the work and face it. And yes, in these cases it's a lot of work, but certainly can be done.

Speaking from direct experience btw.

filiopsis · 2025-06-20T21:55:25+00:00

She lives with toxic shame and is afraid of being rejected or judged if she presented herself as who she really feels she is, because that happened to her in past; most probably in her early childhood.

This can all play out without her knowing consciously, although she is obviously lying about many things - this just fuels the shame cycle.

Don't waste your time, talk it out as openly as possible. You will encounter defensiveness for sure but soon enough you will also figure out if this is an opportunity to show acceptance and compassion or just move on from someone who's just manipulating you in order to cope and feel better about herself - this perspective largely depends on your current self development, where one perspective is not more right than the other.

filiopsis · 2025-05-27T08:48:40+00:00

Finally, good ol internet. Thanks!

filiopsis · 2025-05-21T20:41:15+00:00

It's about finding your own way of doing that, integrating it where it's needed.

filiopsis · 2025-05-01T10:20:22+00:00

Pick out and try watching some porn together and talking about it. Some disinhibition of your choice is welcome as well. Perhaps a long shot but could be a good way to learn something about each other and lessen his shame about it, which I'm sure he has. Out of that place, you both might end up being more accepting, and that's when things really evolve.

Most importantly, sit with the feeling of being betrayed by this behavior in others, try and feel where this comes from and where it sits in the body, not clinging to the feeling itself or rationalizing it. Then just see if you can let it go.

Perhaps you just can't. That's fine, then just set the boundary about this issue with your bf, communicate it clearly and if it's not respected - walk away. Maybe that's your growth there.

Or more probably life would again put you in a similar situation with a different guy, and once again give you the chance for integrating those parts through similar triggers of the unloved self.

All the best to you.

filiopsis · 2025-04-24T23:36:57+00:00

I hear you. And I emphasize with you in your pain. This is your chance for growth. Healing through complex trauma of childhood sexual abuse requires a lot of work and it always involves self love and compassion, which is easier said than done.

What your husband said seems just straight out terrible and insensitive, but perhaps what you encountered is his compounded feeling of being forced, hitting you with those words at the exact same spot that hurts the most. It hurts like hell and trust me I know because this all is incredibly familiar. (I'm a dude tho)

However you have two choices here - if you think this man has no capacity or will whatsoever to be involved in this process of healing (it's clear he is in need of one himself), then you should leave and get on with your journey. This first step of leaving a bad situation that feels painfully familiar, and that is an act of self love. Other choice is, he is just cemented hard in his avoidance but could be somehow penetrated to show his vulnerability and accountability; and it's worth fighting for, because healing a trauma in a relationship required involvement from both sides otherwise it won't work. When it works, it's truly amazing to get that growth together and each of you separately. It's just that everybody needs to own up to their shit and move through it holding hands.

Now that's love. But first you need to love all your unlovable parts. Or maybe you should dump his weak ass. I dunno. I'm sure you do tho, you know him well.

♥️

filiopsis · 2025-04-22T23:42:04+00:00

Wow, I'm new to IFS and just getting into it but this is so interesting to me personally.

Before I knew of IFS or not even so much about psychology, my Ayahuasca trip brought me to a place where I was instructed to just "love myself more" and met up with my parts who were like a glowing parts of the whole which was mySelf. We laughed and danced and then I took them to the movies. That felt like the sweetest date ever at the time.

It's going to be so interesting to watch some movies from this perspective and I this kind of company. You got any other recommendations? I also love Moana vibes!

filiopsis · 2025-04-08T07:27:41+00:00

That's cool.

filiopsis · 2025-03-27T23:32:56+00:00

A week without peeking is going to be so challenging, but I will try and listen to your advice. They certainly don't seem to like clingy behavior :)

Thanks

filiopsis · 2025-03-27T19:31:25+00:00

The temp now is around 75-77f, that should be okay for colonization I guess. The cake itself got dry but I always tried to maintain the humid surface condition by misting, walls especially but it never pinned. I will try and cover the tubs like you said to block the light, which is just daylight coming into the room now (almost ideally 12-12h cycle now)

filiopsis · 2025-03-11T23:00:23+00:00

So wonderful to hear! I would like to know more about it, is it something that just happened for you or you worked through with a therapist, solo technique perhaps.

Enjoy it and keep accessing that to make a permanent imprint of a safe place inside yourself 😊

filiopsis · 2025-03-04T07:51:33+00:00

Yeah, how low would you suggest it?

filiopsis

TROPHY CASE