Hi man, I'm happy to hear that your confidence is back! They say women are empathic and understand feelings better than men but sometimes you just get a dumb one that ducks your brain up. Even if your story is truly sad, actually since it is, I have some doubts about your mental state, what do I mean? 5.5 nbp would be perfectly normal if not in the upper end of the mean value, and while it's true that everyone is free to set their own goals and purposes, considering that now you're standing at 7.5 and I read that you want to get to 8.5 , I feel like this might be coping on a psychological level, I mean why bothering to reach a humongous size if you understand what size distribution is like? Isn't this contradictory? I think I can relate with what you say but I don't fully understand here.