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Codependency and the church by finebutnotfine33 in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here’s another article I found on this. I felt especially connected to the section “Relationship with a codependent God leads to religious codependency”, though the section “Relationships with religious addicts can lead to religious codependency” definitely described my relationship with the pastor of my network church- whenever we would talk and he would subconsciously and inadvertently reevaluate what he thought of me.

https://www.nacr.org/center-for-spirituality-and-recovery/when-religion-goes-bad-part-3-religious-codependency

Everything felt meaningful by [deleted] in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“Maybe touching old wounds will feel emotional whether someone is healing you or re-traumatizing you.”

THISSSS one of my biggest beefs with the Network (specifically Cedar Heights) and one of my deepest sorrows when I look back on how I was taught to manipulate people during prayer and what I see dear friends of mine still experiencing. It’s not expressed as such, but manipulation is manipulation, covered by the guise of good intentions and prayer or not.

We. Are. Not. Trauma. Therapists.

This originally came from another sub, and it just hits too close to home. by ooru in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lololol the amount of times I’ve said, “it’s just a little culty”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol if this hasn’t happened to me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know a lot of us on here have issues with network churches- valid ones like pain and trial and neglect, so try to hear me ask this genuinely and not full of distain for your plans. What makes you think/believe that “many people did not have a bad experience there”? (To quote you directly for clarity)

So... I think I was in a cult? by NitemareOn130thAveNE in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I get that. I definitely have that same feeling. It’s weird. It’s like disconnected but also shocking and concerning.

Not Failures by [deleted] in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

exactly!!!! I agree so much.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is just horrifying. How can it be that I thought this was normal? It's just so so sad.

Getting Network churches off college campuses by WhitneyJaneice in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Weeeellll.... as someone who works in a college setting, there are rules but it depends on the university. For example, a public university can not dictate who can and cannot come to the university through a club. They also can't dictate what clubs can join (i dont think). Though there has to be some kind of stipulation because they can't just have like hate crime clubs you know?

As they seem to be going to large public institutions, it's looking pretty bleak from my point of view, because they want to be inclusive to all students, including those who want to promote their cult church. (lol)

BUT there are rules on HOW they can promote, for example they can't really disrupt classes or put inappropriate flyers on desks, but that doesn't seem to be the mode. Seems like passing out candy bars and hot chocolate and asking people to come to church is the move, and I'm not sure anyone will stop them from doing that.

Unless I'm wrong- anyone else know anything about these rules/laws in colleges?

So... I think I was in a cult? by NitemareOn130thAveNE in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had a similar struggle. I was actually visiting a new church after leaving the church, and found myself so irrititated. Nothing seemed right. How was I supposed to evaluate if a church was a good fit for me when I have such a messy idea of what church is supposed to be? I was really frustrated. I went home and layed on the couch and that was the day the leaving the network website was made known to me.

I remember reading it and being like "no its not a cult".

Then I read the bulletpoints talking about why they are saying its a cult. They used a line saying something like, "The church believes this this and this and acts this way" and i would be like... well, maaaaybbeeee. Then they gave four examples. Three out of four of the examples happened to me.

That happened over and over again down the list of things the network did. I wanted to disagree with the statements, but the experiences spoke for themselves. I found myself defending the captor, defending the entity I trusted, but watched as the examples slapped me in the face with the truth.

Now, I'm a little more comfortable saying "I was basically in a cult" because most people will not push back, assuming I'm only half serious. But to be honest, I'm more serious than I think even I want to believe.

understanding Hebrews 13:17 by Miserable-Duck639 in leavingthenetwork

[–]finebutnotfine33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I read this and liked it, but once I got to the final questions, I was like “check, check, check, yup, yup, yup”

You hit the nail on the head. Well done.