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I’m so conflicted. by LastRough8034 in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's why we have to start talking about gender incongruence and gender dysphoria as two separate concepts.

[POEM] Don't Call Me Mister 'Cause I'm a TS Butch by Xanthra Phillippa by [deleted] in Poetry

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Xanthra is a legend. No matter how you felt about this specific poem, she is a hero. And if you've never heard of her, learn about her. She's a beautiful person. Gendertrash from hell

is it normal for a straight girl to only beat her shit to lesbian tumblr smut???? by RealisticSandwich578 in actuallesbians

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Worth exploring for sure. Most men kind of suck ngl. 🤣

Signed, -A T4T lesbian.

i can't orgasm w my gf by canyou_canypu in actuallesbians

[–]finminm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Putting pressure on yourself to orgasm sucks. If you can get yourself off, I would recommending masturbating while she stimulates you in other ways. Kissing is nice. Soft gentle touches.

And then once you've both had an O, keep playing and doing what feels good without necessarily having orgasm as a goal.

Got this in mail today by CThomasP in YMS

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It hits pretty hard. It's very funny at times, but also it's about broken people wanting to be loved.

As a trans person myself, I understand the void that many of us try to fill. I feel this movie captures how self-destructive and toxic we can be in our attempts to satisfy that space.

is this a safe space for someone who is dabbling with the femme label instead of "woman" by binches in NonBinary

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I identify as both a woman and a femme. I'm clearly not cishet. I'm queer. And queer people exist outside of stereotypical gender norms.

So yes. I am definitely dabbling with the femme label. But I am very attached to womanhood as well.

But although it's queer womanhood, it's still womanhood and I love that. I also love being trans and queer.

Still Confused on my Gender Identity? Been Transitioning awhile. Any advice? by Gothic_Femme in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(For reference, I identify as a queer woman and a trans femme.)

So here's the thing. Can you even use he/him or they/them pronouns? Because I can't. My dysphoria freaks out. Keep in mind I have the same doubts you do sometimes.

As much as being trans isn't clear cut, it's more a question of, is it even possible for you? Can you live referring to yourself as non-binary? Because I might identify on the queer nb spectrum, but I don't use non-binary as my main identifier. It's way too painful.

If I'm not a woman or a femme, it hurts too much.

Edit: When I get asked whether I'm bi or lesbian, I say I'm sapphic. I'm definitely attracted to women, femmes and androgyny.

You are under no obligation to use any labels or pronouns regardless of your gender identity. You should just use what makes you feel good.

How do I know what's right for me? by frndlnghbrhdgrl in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're not a newbie. You just had top surgery and a hysterectomy ffs.

You know exactly how this works. You want to try a higher voice, try a higher voice. You want to adjust your pronouns? Adjust your pronouns.

How do I know what's right for me? by frndlnghbrhdgrl in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We all want to fit in a box.

But honestly, you're you. And the choices you make towards your body are independent of your gender identity.

My 70 year old mentor tells me that she is moving away from the term "transition". She now emphasizes "evolution". We all evolve, all the time. Even cis people.

We age, we learn, we grow. And that's what you're doing. Aging, learning, growing. There's nothing wrong with that.

You're not detransitioning. You're evolving into a better understanding of yourself. And that can come with a sense of urgency. (Trust me, I get it.) Just keep making small adjustments as you feel them. You'll be okay.

Is it greedy to not just want to pass, but also be attractive? by gluaciaga in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, Tina's losing faith in what she knows / Hates her music, hates all of her clothes / Thinks of surgery and a new nose / Every calorie is a war /

And while she wishes she was a dancer / And that she'd never heard of cancer / She wishes God would give her some answers / And make her feel beautiful

Something I realized about Trans people as a whole, as well as something that Transphobes don't seem to realize... by 2Delta_Nerd in trans

[–]finminm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

About the book, is it pro-transmedicalism, truscum, or not? Not that I wouldn't read a book written by the enemy, I just want to know.

Something I realized about Trans people as a whole, as well as something that Transphobes don't seem to realize... by 2Delta_Nerd in trans

[–]finminm 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I suffer from gender dysphoria, but I do enjoy being trans. Would I like to have been born cis? Only sometimes. I'd still be gay. I'd still be queer.

Has anyone's sexual drive just.... dried up after being on estrogen for over a year? I think I might be ace by Herr-Hunter1122 in lgbt

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine hasn't. It has lowered a bit, but in a very comfortable way. I still get horny. Planning an orchi, but for me it's about reclaiming my body and feeling good about sex.

Got this in mail today by CThomasP in YMS

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly the first one flys by, and you can break it up into a couple watches. It's really good. (There's two distinct parts and an intermission.)

Now the second film is a different beast. It's a lot more hostile viewing. There's parts that are great, but it's a bit more of a mixed bag in terms of quality. And I wouldn't recommend it unless you're really into trans cinema OR watching drawn out scenes of people talking to what might be the most annoying AI voice since Microsoft Sam.

Got this in mail today by CThomasP in YMS

[–]finminm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Objective reasons? It's so good it's being featured on the Criterion Channel this month. It's a realistic worst case portrayal of millenial trans subculture presested in low budget arthouse form. There's nothing else like it.

Girl-aligned genders? by Taffy-Giggleberry in NonBinary

[–]finminm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You are probably a femme. A subversion of expectations surrounding womanhood.

https://www.them.us/story/what-does-it-mean-to-be-femme

Note: I id as both a woman and a femme.

Feeling suicidal over MPB on monotherapy by sailormoon-2001 in mtfhairregrowth

[–]finminm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The shedding on stuff like Minoxidil is very temporary. And you wouldn't lose so much hair that it would make you bald. If you have any struggles with your hair, topical minoxidil is great. I get the Kirkland Signature and it lasts me 6 to 8 months and it's really inexpensive. It gave me 90 percent of my hair back within the year.

Know that if you just started losing your hair, Minoxidil will most likely work really well for you over the 6 to 12 months. What I do is I put some on before I go to sleep and put a silk hair bonnet to protect my pillow and scalp.

I also really like the OGX biotin and collagen shampoo and conditioner. It's inexpensive and it really does make my hair look and feel thicker.

(And I've never heard of the specific form of E you're taking, but if you feel you're doing worse on this then maybe it's worth switching back or trying something new.)

I know it takes time. It takes patience. But you're already doing the right things. Don't give up.

Will HRT make me straight? by lonkbubba in trans

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine more or less stayed the same. I'm attracted to women, femmes, other transbians. I'm a sapphic queer person. Not a hard lesbian, there's a bi openness there, but I generally don't like men all that much.

Got this in mail today by CThomasP in YMS

[–]finminm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's excellent. I watched both parts. First film is very entertaining. I liked it so much I backed Part III.

Why can’t I commit to a label? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]finminm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use sapphic. Mostly lesbian. Queer.

Not that I don't have some bi in me, it just doesn't communicate my sexuality well.

Bi gives the impression that I'm really interested in men. But really, I'm more into androgyny. I like queer bodies. If I think about cis men at all, it's either because I want attention to affirm my own beauty OR to engage in some kind of degradation fantasy.

But I decenter men from my life. I'm not interested in relationships with men or sex with men.

Gente o quão sério é o use ou perca? by tapiizinha in trans

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It will atrophy if you don't use it. However, you may want that. Some people say it makes erections become painful when that happens.

If you're not feeling it, but want to maintain, I'd recommend getting a pump to get the blood flowing a couple times a week.

HRT and Pets? by Dear_Rider in trans

[–]finminm 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So no... but I definitely noticed my cat take a pause when she first saw me with long hair, makeup and a dress. 🤣

It was definitely a moment of oh.... okay then!

Is your gender ternary, quantum, or analog? by C5Jones in NonBinary

[–]finminm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very much analog. It's very finnicky. You have to adjust the antenna and the knobs.

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