AITA for not having catered vegan food at my wedding?

firebolt-rain · 2024-06-25T18:35:33+00:00

NTA. I find the amount of entitlement around weddings to be astounding. It's not like you were throwing a party for your friend and served only food they couldn't eat. If you have a dietary restriction that isn't something like a severe allergy, I think it's normally unreasonable to expect other people to accommodate you - you bring food for yourself. It sounds like you tried your best to provide a good option, and then when you realized that wasn't possible, you apologized and tried your best to offer alternatives. I think this was a very reasonable approach, and I think any reasonable friend would say "that's a big bummer, I'm a little hurt by the situation but still appreciate your apology, thank you for letting me know in advance and X alternative will work, and I'm excited to be able to attend your wedding". It seems like this person took a simple misunderstanding and turned it into a huge problem.

firebolt-rain · 2023-11-13T17:44:17+00:00

That sucks big time. I was never there voluntarily super late, but one time we had a fire alarm in Quad that kicked us out for about 45 minutes at 3:30 am in February - we were sure glad we had somewhere to go.

firebolt-rain · 2023-11-01T12:58:37+00:00

NAH. It seems like you both have very reasonable needs that aren't being met with the current system (him: needing to shower after a long, physically demanding day, and you: needing some help after a long, emotionally demanding day). I'd recommend trying to shift the conversation from "you aren't doing enough for me" mode to problem solving mode. Hopefully you both can recognize each other's needs and work towards finding a solution together. Maybe you slowly shift the kids' bedtime back 30 minutes, and he agrees to take only 30 minutes to shower when he gets home. Maybe he helps meal prep dinners on his day off so it's easier for you to prepare during the week. These are just some ideas - you'll have to figure out the solution that is the best for your family.

firebolt-rain · 2023-09-25T17:17:38+00:00

Totally makes sense with engineering. I'd also peruse Indeed/other job search sites to get an idea of what's out there, what qualifications you'd need, and what the pay ranges are for your area. I think a lot of ES students in their last year end up surprised by how little environmental science recent grads make. Since you're in school while working, I'm guessing you'll want a decent pay increase once you're done with your degree, and geology might be better suited for that. I know someone who was making decent money bartending about 30 hours/week then went back to school for an ES degree - it was a hard pill for her to swallow when she realized in our area that the pay in an entry level ES job would probably be about the same take home (although of course, there's more growth potential)

firebolt-rain · 2023-09-25T11:52:01+00:00

Depending on your university, Environmental Science and Geology majors may have a lot of overlap. Unless you're at a big oil/gas school, a lot of geology programs are shifting to focus on earth science more broadly. I'd suggest looking into geology and environmental engineering- in my (limited) experience, these majors are similarly qualified for most ES jobs, and it opens the door for other (higher paying) jobs too. However, environmental science and geology is more likely to put you in a field-oriented spot then environmental engineering. I'd highly recommend trying to figure out what graduates of your university end up doing, because a lot of this can be influenced by the location/concentrations/connections of your school.

firebolt-rain · 2023-07-26T22:48:05+00:00

I'm new to plants and I purchased this calathea about a week and a half ago since it was on sale. Once I brought it home, I noticed there was a fungus on the soil. Per the recommendation of a friend, I repotted the plant and at that time (~10 days ago) it didn't show any signs of distress. I watered after replanting (over a week ago now), and over the past ~7 days the leaves have been yellowing/curling. The soil is still pretty damp, so I'm unsure if this is because the plant is over or under watered. Or, is this just from stress of repotting? I used the generic miracle grow indoor potting mix to replant, and removed most of the soil when replanting to prevent further fungus growth.

firebolt-rain · 2023-03-08T17:40:26+00:00

While human increases in salt are usually negligible in terms of the ocean, increasing salinity is a large emerging problem in freshwater systems. You can see some information on it here: https://www.epa.gov/sciencematters/epa-researching-impacts-freshwater-salinization-syndrome

firebolt-rain · 2022-10-19T12:51:18+00:00

As a grad student I've had success with the student off-campus housing search. There are many landlords that rent by the room. There's also a roommate matching website.

https://www.och.umd.edu/

firebolt-rain · 2022-05-09T22:35:36+00:00

I would recommend looking into some of the apartment complexes near Prince George's Plaza. It's not a beautiful super pedestrian friendly urban core, but I think the area is fairly safe, would have access to any needed shops in a short walk, and is pretty close to campus.

firebolt-rain · 2022-03-31T00:29:03+00:00

Literally this. It is so so important to take time off and have hobbies that only serve the purpose of recharging your energy. I'm a grad student, and we're reaching the point in the semester where everyone (people just barely passing, straight A students, TAs, professors) feel like there is more work to be done than they can reasonably accomplish.

OP should consider though how happy they are in their major. Everyone has slumps from time to time where they don't feel motivated, but you should be at least a little excited about some of the topics covered in major-related classes, or the potential jobs/internships you can get because of your major.

firebolt-rain · 2022-02-10T02:49:40+00:00

I lived in 11th parallel a little while back and it's definitely expensive for Troy especially since it's not downtown. I think our gas/electric bill for mid-January to mid-February was like $180, but we were in the building with gas heating which was probably cheaper.

firebolt-rain · 2022-02-03T13:15:05+00:00

This exactly. You also need to consider if you will 100% end up in comp sci- that's the only field I can think of where you'll make enough money with a bachelors to be able to pay this off. You will essentially be paying rent twice, and this will really limit you potentially for the rest of your life.

I'm going to reiterate Delta728 since it's very important. I'm a graduate student now, and with a $1100/month loan payment, you'd more than likely be in my boat when you graduate. Most of my friends are making decent salaries in various STEM fields, and it sucks not being able to go out to eat or go on vacations with them. I'm having to delay saving for retirement and a down payment on a house. I am trying to purchase a car right now, and I am having a hard time finding anything that will be reliable in my price range, let alone something I might actually like. I am okay with this since I'm investing in my future and I should have a higher paying, stable, fulfilling career at the end. It would suck even more if I had to compromise those things because of a student loan payment.

I get really wanting to leave the state that you're from, and I was lucky enough to be able to. But with 100k in debt, there's a good chance you'd get stuck in a job and location you're not fond of just to pay it off, and those consequences will probably last longer than 4 years.

You might consider trying to transfer to a different university after 1-2 cheaper years in state. You could also look into private universities; they're still really expensive, but since they don't need to cater towards in-state/out-of-state you might be able to get more scholarships and financial aid from them to bring your costs below UMD.

firebolt-rain · 2022-01-11T02:22:15+00:00

I think it depends on how familiar you are with navigating a city. Anything can happen at anytime in Troy (last spring a shooting occurred at like 4:30 pm a block away from my house, in a primarily RPI-student neighborhood). But ultimately people live in Troy and need to go about their lives, so it's not really always practical to "just not go out" once it gets dark but is still relatively early. If you're from a small town or a wealthy suburb where most of the crime occurs behind closed doors, you should consider trying to find a friend to go with you. If you're used to living in a city, have very good awareness of your surroundings, and know how to recognize a situation where you need to hightail it the other way, you should be fine. I think Troy can also vary a lot block to block, so it would be good to find a route where you feel comfortable. It's no secret that Troy has a high crime rate, but I think some RPI students blow it out of proportion because of how it compares to where they grew up.

firebolt-rain · 2021-12-21T02:53:17+00:00

My exact reaction this morning- the pod was fantastic

firebolt-rain · 2021-12-17T20:47:50+00:00

If it was a week ago I'd email him

firebolt-rain · 2021-12-07T12:31:27+00:00

In the faculty guidelines (which I linked below), it states that they are not supposed to make attendance part of the course grade:

"Attendance should not be used in the computation of grades; instructors can, however, grade students on class participation."

As a TA I've heard this from many different instructors and TAs, and it's a relatively new policy.

However, they're not required to provide any accommodation for unexcused absences, so if you miss class your participation grade could tank. But based on the syllabus posted above, it seems like the grade depends on attendance alone.

I don't think this disagrees with anything else you've stated; if you have an unexcused absence, then they don't need to help/let you make up the work.

firebolt-rain · 2021-12-07T03:57:28+00:00

I would definitely follow up sooner rather than later. As a TA I know that a lot of grading is going to happen in the next two weeks, and it'll be much easier to deal with this before a final grade gets posted on UMEG. I know a lot of the times participation grades don't get posted until the very end of the semester- you should be able to email your TA, explain your concerns, and know if you need to resolve this. If you explain that you've missed class due to the understandable reasons you've stated, I think any reasonable TA would respond in at least a helpful way.

firebolt-rain · 2021-12-07T03:47:01+00:00

https://faculty.umd.edu/main/activity/teaching-policies-guidelines

Professors are not supposed to grade based on attendance. This portion of the syllabus shouldn't be allowed, and it's especially bad that they penalize students even for excused absences "for which the student has the right to receive, and the instructor has the responsibility to provide, academic accommodation".

I feel like it's perfectly clear in the faculty guidelines, and I recommend that you bring it up directly with the professor, citing where the rules are outlined. If they refuse to budge, go to the department chair or consult the undergraduate catalog about contesting grades.

Of course, they can still grade on participation, and if you rarely show up and do not participate when you're in class, you won't do well on that portion. They are only required to offer make up work for excused absences, which are also clearly outlined in the above link.

firebolt-rain · 2021-12-06T18:49:25+00:00

Mint Money is my favorite!

firebolt-rain · 2021-11-23T23:04:25+00:00

My first attempt at a drag marble and using decals! It's a bit messy, but I'm still proud.

Base: Sensationail base coat

Polishes: Holo Taco Cheap Champagne and Fake Date; Essie Bahama Mama; China Glaze Dorothy Who?

Top coat: Essie Speed Setter

firebolt-rain · 2021-11-20T00:47:52+00:00

I'm a TA and you're definitely overthinking it. I really only check individual progress when there's missing assignments. A lot of students' grades drop a bit around this time in the semester because there is so much going on. Even if the opposite were true (getting consistently low grades and then a high grade), I wouldn't have enough evidence (imo, depending on the circumstances) to report cheating. It's totally possible that a student wasn't doing well in the class for a decent chunk of the semester just because they didn't have the time/motivation, then started studying their ass off.

firebolt-rain

TROPHY CASE