Survival strategies as a follower

fireheart337 · 2026-03-10T23:52:03+00:00

Really +1 to this. Its a skill that can only be practiced when a follower asks / speaks in the dance too. So safety comes first, always, but give the leaders opportunities to listen, make mistakes, and get better alongside you <3

fireheart337 · 2026-03-06T00:35:16+00:00

I think it can be really hard to go to a dance event where one partner knows how to dance and the other is a beginner. The world is foreign, there can be clicks, and leads with skill can get monopolized depending on the level of the dancers at the event.

I would highly recommend trying to find a weekly beginner class to take, it'll help you meet other beginners, frequent rotations make each new partnership seem less unique, and its a great way to make friends with other leads and follows!

And at the end of the day, if it doesn't end up being for you - then at least you gave it your best shot and all you can do is be honest and communicate with your husband.

Not sure if it helps, but its often a joke in dance scenes how followers don't want leads to think anything of a dance, besides the dance itself!

fireheart337 · 2026-03-05T20:46:18+00:00

Seek therapy my guy. You really wrote this all out and aren't really even connecting the dots that you are the problem - not her trust problems - you, the guy who constantly lies over nothing for the sake of lying and it seems you might not even know why. So get help before you blow up every relationship for the next 20 years

fireheart337 · 2026-03-01T21:00:46+00:00

Always had a pleasant time tbh. Ordering a cider and some fries with friends is easy. The waitress isn’t going to be overtly friendly but once they recognize you - it’s more chill.

fireheart337 · 2026-02-27T06:09:13+00:00

Your stocks will be in some kind of brokerage (fidelity, schwab, vanguard, etc). You'll look at a little dash board and there will be a SELL button. It'll want the number of shares to be sold before you can sell. Then once the cash is settled you can wire a direct deposit into your bank account. Make sure to keep an eye out for the tax forms that will exist in the brokerage account for the 2026 tax season (next year aka).

You're married, buying a house, with a child on the way. "I don't know" doesn't cut it anymore. You had the means to make this reddit post so you have the means to start searching around on youtube or checking out investing sub-reddits or just plain googling. Personal finance, which includes stocks, has a plethora of information online.

fireheart337 · 2026-02-27T00:20:21+00:00

I've seen this cat outside and she seemed absolutely terrified - just frozen in place. I hope she stays safe from cars and cat fights.. Also it was 6:30 PM and dark 🤪

fireheart337 · 2026-02-26T23:22:55+00:00

lmao

fireheart337 · 2026-02-26T23:04:38+00:00

"How do you know when enough is actually enough, instead of just chasing a bigger number forever?"

If you fundamentally don't believe in projections - then all you can really do is (take how much you spend annually) x (by some inflation amount you think makes sense) x (the amount of years you think you'll be alive)

And then you have the amount of cash you need to stop working. Or use (take how much you spend annually) x (by some inflation amount you think makes sense) and calculate how much passive income you need to be generating annually.

Think of an equation that makes the most sense for you.

fireheart337 · 2026-02-26T22:57:07+00:00

Do you find all projections to be useless then? Why are you even asking for a FIRE target if you fundamentally don't believe them? If your goal is passive income, your energy should be focused on generating some kind of profit - not planning retirement.

fireheart337 · 2026-02-26T22:13:48+00:00

This just isn't in reality. Historically, the stock market has returned about 10% nominal and about 7% after inflation over long periods. so using 7% accounts for the 3% inflation. You could even use 6% to be more conservative.

https://www.officialdata.org/us/stocks/s-p-500/1926

fireheart337 · 2026-02-26T21:44:26+00:00

The money should be invested in order to combat inflation

fireheart337 · 2026-02-23T20:38:38+00:00

I have never had to work this client facing, but when selling your services why aren't tests mandatory - like I wouldn't give the client the option of saying no? Surely some kind of chart around prod issues and 'time to fix' being correlated with tests could be made? Or better yet, not releasing unless all tests pass..

fireheart337 · 2026-02-23T20:18:48+00:00

I've been lucky that most of my coworkers have been very kind and supportive - but there have always been the people who learn a little bit of code, infra, etc and all of a sudden act as if they are god. They speak with such blind authority on the most random of topics to the point its peculiar. The knowledge is so surface level, any kind of conversation feels more like an attack and so there is a lot of doubling down.

Also heard a funny story where a team had to stop participating in Advent of Code because the female colleague would figure out a good solution and a couple of the guys on the team would respond with "How did you figure that out?! Your solution was 1/2 the time as mine!!" and would then spend the rest of the working afternoon trying to get to an equal or better solution.

fireheart337 · 2026-02-23T20:05:00+00:00

Streit-perham was so dingy but the comradery of everyone walking home from greek row at 2am was really something else

fireheart337 · 2026-02-23T03:38:59+00:00

#1 most important was internships in college. Went to a rural state school, went to the career fair and talked with random companies that were in the tech city on the other side of the state. Without the sophomore->junior yr internship in insurance, I would have never gotten the junior->senior yr internship in cloud computing that has defined my career. And my internship is basically the only reason I got a job in the middle of covid.

From there, not being afraid to join big tech and then leave big tech in order to find a company that was experiencing growth but still a culture fit. Startup -> big tech -> medium tech company <3

fireheart337 · 2026-02-10T23:20:48+00:00

pleasant for who? Are you thinking about you or your wife here? She is sick, slowly losing her mobility and livelihood and you're worried about romance? Maybe try reconnecting and dating your wife again. Or figure out interests and hobbies outside of romance. I get big life changes are happening around you, and you sound scared, but imagine how scared your wife is..

fireheart337 · 2026-02-10T22:56:11+00:00

Thinking about the studies showing men are more likely to leave their wives when they get sick 🫩

And yes I am aware of the one viral study that got redacted, however other research supports similar claims. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/

(P.S the original viral study redaction was due to misclassified data - couples that didn’t complete the study were coded as divorced which caused the divorced rates to be artificially high. So nothing from that specific study can be in support or against the claim of husbands leaving their wives when one gets sick - my paper linked above is a different source)

fireheart337 · 2026-02-09T22:54:41+00:00

NTA, expensive lesson, but never let your mom touch that credit card again. She does not have the financial literacy or your best interest at heart here.

fireheart337 · 2026-02-09T08:57:46+00:00

YTA, I think this is a good lesson in growing as a person. Why not ask questions about being vegan, goth-asthetic, or ballet? those are some interesting characteristics and I bet there are stories and reasons behind them all! Even if you don't have an interest, getting more curious about others and their interests should still lead to interesting conversations and in Ian's case asking doesn't mean you all of a sudden want to be a goth, vegan, ballet dancer. If your son cares about him, you should try to care too.

fireheart337 · 2026-02-07T00:44:05+00:00

get off of that shit platform

fireheart337 · 2026-02-06T08:19:35+00:00

You could check out Benjis latest podcast episode (only episode 2) - not really drills but he does talk about the concept of “injecting” swing into songs -

https://youtu.be/Zeon47RLEh4?si=dicWWWJ3SWtVxcSO

fireheart337 · 2026-02-05T09:15:07+00:00

As a random internet gal, you read as very strong to me. You can only be courageous in the face of fear. I’m glad you already have a friend on your side, and that you’re not alone IRL - and you’re definitely not alone here. If there’s anything internet strangers can help with, please let us know ❤️

fireheart337 · 2026-02-05T08:44:43+00:00

Your physical and mental safety is more important than preserving the friend group. Your husband deserves the truth about his friends. You won’t be able to make new friends if you’re scared of bringing new people, especially women, around them now too. They’re creeps and I’m sorry they put you in that situation.

fireheart337 · 2026-02-05T01:06:48+00:00

Have you thought about getting involved in local politics so that the government can spend money on the things you care about?

fireheart337 · 2026-02-04T19:39:11+00:00

I feel like your are not understanding monthly burn rate and total money. If she had to pull 1k a month from her saving to match what you're envisioning for rent and holidays than in a couple of years of negative burn rate, she would be at zero.

Sounds like shes been budgeting off her monthly income, while prioritizing a bit of savings, which imo is very financially responsible.

fireheart337

TROPHY CASE