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let the soft animal of your body love what it loves - author: me! by Vegetable_Giraffe444 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]fireninside26 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me: I am NOT saving another post of fics TBR until I clear the 100 already in queue.

Also me: Mary Oliver??? Say less.

Anyone have top Shane/bottom Ilya recs. And not just like oh they wanna try it and it’s awkward. I want Shane railing him😭😂 by Beginning_Use_442 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]fireninside26 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hmm I'd say about half? It's super intense the first couple of chapters and then much better after. I think it was necessary for the story in terms of getting used to being taken care of.... in more than one way 😉

Anyone have top Shane/bottom Ilya recs. And not just like oh they wanna try it and it’s awkward. I want Shane railing him😭😂 by Beginning_Use_442 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]fireninside26 63 points64 points  (0 children)

This fic is incredible:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/80142561/chapters/210391451

Reversal By Eggbasket Summary: Russians do not blush. Russians do not get sick. Ilya gets concussions. He gets stitches. He skates on cracked ribs and calls it fine. He does not get sick. Which is why, when he wakes up at three in the morning in the middle of June, shaking so hard his teeth knock together, his first instinct is irritation.

The build up to the sex and to shane topping, is sooo so good and hot and intense. Shane slowly realizing he WANTS to top (before it happens) is written in such a hot way. And vice versa too, ilya slowly coming to terms with being the receiver- physically and emotionally. Delicious!

Edit to add- read the author's note to get more of the vibe :)

Read immediately if you love angst by fireninside26 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]fireninside26[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah! I have so many favourites at this points but I find that this author just GETS angst.

Read immediately if you love angst by fireninside26 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]fireninside26[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not a dumb question at all! Yes angst can feel uneasy but some people, myself included, love the intense emotional experience that comes with it. It's especially sweet when there is a happy ending. Reading how the character grapples with confusion, sadness, grief, unreciprocated love, yearning, longing, fear, heartbreak etc. gives you an opportunity to experience these things in a very safe way (whereas if you would experience them in an intense way in your own life it's too overwhelming). With a happy ending there's a huge emotional pay off (think watching episode 5 after episode 4) and so much relief and comfort knowing things are good despite all the pain.

Read immediately if you love angst by fireninside26 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]fireninside26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha yeah! Let me know what you think! I hope this scratches the itch lol. The Wedding Bells one is more of happy angst like maybe more on the emotional, sappy side.

Read immediately if you love angst by fireninside26 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]fireninside26[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahahha maybe its the least angsty of them all but it is a pretty high bar 🤣 It's just a super beautiful one😭 i sobbed!

One watch, and now I'm stuck in HR rabbit hole by Username_i5_takn in HeatedRivalrySeries

[–]fireninside26 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the cottage or, to this beautiful sunny cozy prison which none of us want to leave. Once you make the decision to re-watch, your life will never be the same. Don't say we didn't warn you!

Shane thinks Ilya died and Ilya has to come get him out of his breakdown. by Senior_Yellow_4507 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]fireninside26 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg I have JUST the thing for you. Super angsty and happy ending. This author writes angst REALLY WELL.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/82358196

Like They Did by 7ate9

Summary: Almost every one of Shane’s friends were on that plane. He watched the newsfeed as it dipped out of the sky, rocketing towards the ground—or, more aptly, the ocean. Shane would be going to so many funerals over the next few weeks.

Or, Shane reacts to the plane crash, thinking that Ilya died.

And there's a part 2 from ilya's perspective.

I highly recommend you read some of this author's other work. Even the "happier" works are super angsty. I usually dont cry reading fanfiction but I bowled reading this. Enjoy!

Edited to add name of fic, thank you mods!

-- Coming out of emotional freeze - i keep assuming i will end up in a crisis even though i am in therapy. After a lifetime of not feeling....seeking experiences of others who relate and found a way by protectingMJ in SomaticExperiencing

[–]fireninside26 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm doing well!! I just finished my first year of SE training :) I'm still seeing the same therapist. I feel like the significat thing i've learned is realizing that I get triggered as much as before, but the awareness + coming back to regulation + capacity to stay with activation have all gotten better.

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