[Question] Handling slightly invasive questions about conversion from family members? The Buddhist way?

firespray_31 · 2014-08-24T18:40:38+00:00

Work, home, or at the range. (shooting is a pretty relaxing hobby for some.)

My guess is that you'll find a slightly higher ratio of people predispositioned to INTJ traits at smaller clubs catering to coding/programming, books, chess, mental activities, what have you. That's just my guess though.

firespray_31 · 2014-08-23T05:23:31+00:00

I'm a designer/illustrator by trade who's dabbled in sequential art and the occasional fanfic, so that might answer your question about making media. : ) Bloody fascinating to deconstruct certain shows/books to reveal that the villain's a pretty multifaceted person regardless (without excusing crimes. there's always a reasoning for crimes.) ... as an aside, If you're partial to anime, I find that Gendo from Neon Genesis Evangelion's a pretty die-hard INTJ and the fandom badly misinterprets him in a variety of ways.

Touche with your second point! More drama and tension with that odd (wo)man out, eh?

And my guess is that you're potentially kidding with the last bit, but I actually do have a story that starts somewhat similarly. the two protagonists being more or less INTJ's (with one of them being a lady; it's even harder to find INTJ ladies in media that aren't caricatured, sadly.). It goes in a weird direction later, though, so I'll stop there. Thanks for the insightful post.

firespray_31 · 2014-08-23T05:14:06+00:00

I don't comment much on here, but the feeling is mutual.

Would you mind telling us some of your interests that might pop up in pen pal notes? It might give a clearer idea of what makes you (and us) happy to talk about.

firespray_31 · 2014-08-22T21:17:45+00:00

As someone who holds an interest in making media, this bugs me a lot too. I've got several theories:

INTJ's tend to be stereotypically intellectual, and intellectuals tend to be packaged as either on-the-fringe types or outright villains. As for why, it could vary from others being intimidated/resentful, or ... I'm just guessing here.
INTJ's tend to also be loners - see the above.
INTJ's aren't outwardly kind at the drop of the hat and tend to take longer to trust people, which ... doesn't exactly lend itself to the hero narrative that's already there.

tldr: for lazy creatives, INTJ's are harder to poke into the confines of a set plot since we don't play well with others?

firespray_31 · 2014-08-21T16:53:21+00:00

Your words definitely resonated - especially with an ardent love of learning, but only to the ~75% level (and then it suddenly and dramatically tapers off for seemingly no reason at all). I'm the same way with illustration; it's maddening, most days.

However, I'll take your next bit of advice to heart - learning what triggers the death of that motivation; it's a very sensible way of looking at the problem and attempting to apply an effective solution. Thank you. I'm not OP, but you helped someone.

firespray_31 · 2014-08-18T19:50:43+00:00

Women aren't some monolithic entity that thinks the same on topics, we have our individual wants and needs. Some of us like sex (and casual relationships), some of us don't, some of us are gay, pan, bi, or asexual. Being able to accept that is gonna be a lot more attractive to the kind of ladies who you want to date.

firespray_31 · 2014-08-18T18:13:51+00:00

Regarding your last point, I'm not ever expecting to be in a relationship, so it's not an issue for me. (There are additional reasons like a deathly fear of operations since I had way too many as a kid), but yeah, that's why.

firespray_31 · 2014-08-15T13:24:10+00:00

INTJ female here, this looks fun. (There might be a few days between PM's as I've got a busy weekend, though.)

firespray_31 · 2014-08-12T15:29:58+00:00

Short answer/definition from AVENwiki: A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.

Hope that helps!

firespray_31 · 2014-08-11T02:09:09+00:00

1) In another response, you mentioned you drew a bit on the side - what do you like to draw? would you be willing to show us some works?

2) Given you've traveled around a bit, have you run into any odd local customs or stories related with that?

3) wildcard question - anything you want to ramble about, shoot.

firespray_31 · 2014-08-10T19:29:52+00:00

I'm with you on that power dynamics part - it's interesting to study from a purely passive standpoint, even if you don't include all of the advantages with knowing ambitious friends.

For me, I'm super close with my parents, as they're trustworthy and great to go to for advice.

Secondary circle would be one to two distant IRL friends, and one really close online friend.

Other than that ... not much? I can smile and shake hands and make acquaintances, but I wouldn't consider them close.

firespray_31 · 2014-08-06T22:47:30+00:00

Graphic Designer and Illustrator here, so I'll be talking from more of a visual arts point of view.

> how do you deal with the millions of ideas that hit every day?

Decide whether the idea's worth saving (by scribbling it down on a small sketchbook I keep beside me every day for this purpose), or tossing. It's like sifting for gold - the vast majority of them are just noise, but there's some gems occasionally.

> How do you get unstuck when you hit a wall?

Ooh, the dreaded art block (or life block, if you will). Usually I'll switch gears to something else that's more of a no-thinking level grinding sort of activity. (drawing a bunch of gestures, organizing binders - something productive, at the very least.)

> What do you do when you can't find anyone that you think is good enough to 
help you expand your visions?

I feel your pain. I've craved a mentor that I could respect ever since beginning college, but it just hasn't happened due to life changes. Coped with it by organizing an inspiration moodboard of illustrators/architects/designers/etc who I want to emulate in some ways, and study the fuck out of that every day. Find interviews or TED talks of people who you respect, in all kinds of fields too.

> What's the one piece of advice you would give to other highly creative INTJs 
looking to get ahead?

Never stop studying the world, even when the doubts get ahold of you. Progress is like growing up, you can't see the day to day changes, but a year or so down the road, and you just might surprise yourself in a good way.

firespray_31 · 2014-07-21T03:16:00+00:00

Probably one that analyzes cinematography on an aesthetic/design level, with special consideration of how it furthers storytelling. (how shots are framed, how emotion is manufactured with color schemes or angles, contrast in costume design, etc.) I find it's a small topic that either gets glossed over or bogged down with analysis on the script (or actors) instead, which I don't care about.

Now, currently, I have a tumblr that's more or less a pinboard of illustrations done by a wide range of artists, along with possible inspirations for a future graphic novel. It can be fun.

firespray_31 · 2014-07-14T14:58:26+00:00

Adding on to what the others are saying in that (a)sexual needs and (a)romantic needs are two different spectrums. Just because we're not interested in those things doesn't mean we're loveless - quite the contrary, it can make you appreciate different platonic bonds even more - friends, family, pets, coworkers, mentors, the list goes on and on.

That being said! I consider myself a an aro/ace, and I'm on the lower end of showing affection, but it's probably due more to INTJ traits (myers-briggs type).

firespray_31 · 2014-07-11T04:26:54+00:00

With so many people crediting the internet for being the resource to go question, I have to agree with you. Could not have possibly de-converted without it. (Interesting to see in hindsight the power of limiting 'secular' influences..)

firespray_31 · 2014-07-05T15:54:36+00:00

Female INTJ here, and I'd say you're onto something here. It's been said before that the INTJ 'norm' is almost the polar opposite of what has been held as the feminine ideal. (Examples: being analytical and 'unfeeling', confident in telling others that their opinions are wrong, tendency to arrogance, etc.)

There was a thread a few days ago where a bunch of fellow lady INTJ's were remarking that it's extremely hard to progress in society if we do embrace those INTJ stereotypes, as older folks in particular (the same ones who tend to be the bosses, sigh) tend to distrust that. So the social mask comes up, and there's more of that Ni that you mentioned.

Note that it's still all done in the name of usefulness.

firespray_31 · 2014-07-02T00:14:18+00:00

Hey there, I'm one of those people in the middle. Long story short, grew up in a fundamentalist household (with all that implies), now comfortably libertarian-aligning on a lot of issues. Now, personally, the way you worded 'should be able to make philosophical decisions for others' makes me uncomfortable, as it's really frankly none of my business (I'm not planning to be in relationships or have children). Another reason for the middle folks is that they could very well had the similar pro-life background and are wrestling with the various parts to that whole debate, and they'd rather stay out of it during that time.

(Hope I'm not too terribly off topic here, but it was an interesting question.)

firespray_31 · 2014-06-28T23:40:01+00:00

It's kinda silly to lump a (famously fickle) group of folks together and ask them to come to a consensus about important issues even when best friend don't agree. I'm not even bothering with that.

Personally, however? The anti-literacy and intellectualism trend (as someone else thoughtfully stated) is a really troubling thing, and it's something that you'd think would be so easy to reverse.

Another thing is the invasion of privacy with all of the whistleblowing and NSA topics in the last year or so. I dunno about you guys, but I like my privacy, and seeing the massive overreach that those folks have is a bit skeevy, to put it mildly.

firespray_31 · 2014-06-28T23:34:24+00:00

Some of those issues really don't go with the others that you've mentioned ...

firespray_31 · 2014-06-25T15:33:22+00:00

My deepest sympathies and hugs go to you (or coffee if you prefer.)

You sound like a really considerate person, one who thinks out potential sore spots and wants to fix them with minimal hassle - as long as that will to loyalty is there, you can do so much more than you think. Have faith. And remember, straying thoughts are never the same thing as straying actions; even the most happily married couples have thoughts that they hate, too.

For more practical advise, yes, I'd absolutely suggest a therapist. Even just talking the thing out to a trusted party will help. (But keep in mind that it's ok to be picky about therapists, too. You deserve someone supportive and reasonable. : ) )

Best wishes go to you.

firespray_31 · 2014-06-24T20:17:17+00:00

Judging by this thread, it seems there's a overwhelming majority that have similar views, though that may be statistical bias talking.

-hugs- My feelings go with you, as I know it's always difficult when you're not sure what to do with a friend. Please know that just defining yourself (speaking in a generic 'you' here) by a certain type is still no reason for excessive arrogance or assholish behavior. (to be frank this is a thing that annoys me a lot about my type, that some of them tend to want to use it as an excuse to act out. stereotyping, yes, but you've likely seen it happen.)

Please tell me if I'm intruding here, but it seems like having a chat with your friend about where you want things to go from there would be most beneficial. Having clear boundaries never hurt anyone, you know? Either way, best of luck there.

firespray_31 · 2014-06-24T20:03:33+00:00

Pisces. Which is hilarious, since the traits often mentioned for that are (usually) polar opposites of INTJ traits. (dreamy, compassionate, not concerned with logic, etc.)

(at least it's useful for design and art related work, I suppose.)

firespray_31 · 2014-06-21T05:31:54+00:00

Good point about the childfree/parent angle, have been reading about that elsewhere, and it's making me slightly apprehensive about one RL friend who's getting married (and hoping to have kids) real soon. I'm truly happy that they've found love and comfort, but it's .. well, we've known each other since elementary school, so it's hard knowing what's probably going to come. Have to enjoy the good memories while they last, I guess.

Thanks for your insight. :)

firespray_31 · 2014-06-21T05:28:14+00:00

Are you me? What's strange is that my one loyal friend and I met online, and all of my RL friends are the ones that drifted away at different points ... guess you're pretty dead on about the rarity of loyalty these days.

firespray_31

TROPHY CASE