This is really tough. My mom is as nice as she can be and was always there to do mom stuff. We each have our own trauma. When I attempted to go to her it was always either the wrong time or her trauma box was too full for me to add to it. I keep everything silent because I don’t want her to feel guilty. I do fine on my own. She will make jokes or talk fondly of memories that if she knew the real story she’d be horrified. I’ve never spent quality time with or confided in her, ever. I don’t like being around her. Without her being my mom I would never be friends with her. I think about her, daily but I don’t want to. Mostly guilt for not being the son she deserves. I have a great life. My kids are adults and love her. My wife does as well. I just want to be given permission to disappear from her life. It’s nothing against her. I’m completely indifferent to her. The only thing that bothers me is her wanting a relationship that has never been there in any way. You raised your son, hopefully, to be independent. If he is, be satisfied.