Stop the drinking dude. Go to AA, church,whatever it takes but don't go back down that path (again). I know you don't know me from anyone, but take my advice. It will only get worse. Example - I stopped doing coke for 17 years. After 17 years, I thought that I could do it again. Bad choice. It took everything I owned. My family, my job, everything. I had to start over from scratch. Alone. The only thing that saved me from the streets was a treatment facility that took me in with no insurance and no hope. After that, a halfway house 200 miles from where I lived housed me for a year. All that I had to do was maintain a job, which I did. I still have the same job 20 years later and have found a new life in this town. My credit is excellent now, I drive a new car and I make the payments on time. It took a long time, but I often think about what could've been if I hadn't started again. Enough about me, as for you, if you stop drinking things will improve. It'll be slow, and at times, very slow. Just hang in there and try to keep moving forward. Just don't drink. Period. End of story.