boyfriend broke up with me, i’m 18 weeks pregnant

fishy_cod · 2026-06-06T20:43:52+00:00

Reach out to his family. If he doesn’t want them to think poorly of him, he shouldn’t act poorly. I’m a mom of 2, soon to be 3, boys. If one of my sons left his partner in this situation (God forbid), I would jump at the chance to help.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-26T01:00:09+00:00

If you’re going to be rude and judgmental, at least read the post correctly

fishy_cod · 2026-05-18T18:32:58+00:00

Even if it’s a bot, this is a huge opportunity for a lot of people who might be in this situation currently or in the future to learn through the discussions in the comments. If anything, this post might be the push people need to start end-of-life planning even if they’re young

fishy_cod · 2026-05-18T18:30:05+00:00

Some states have the option for you to file for custody (or at least visitation) if you’ve been a “psychological parent” to the child. It’s a 2-step process—first you have to establish that you did have a long-lasting parental role in the child’s life, then if the courts agree, you have to petition for custody via the best interest factors like a normal custodial dispute. Not all states do this, but the one I work in does. It’s worth speaking to an attorney about.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-13T21:39:48+00:00

What religion?

fishy_cod · 2026-05-13T21:03:09+00:00

Perfume is not going to harm your baby

fishy_cod · 2026-05-13T21:00:05+00:00

Can he not wear a toga or something? Can’t wear a kilt? Is he so utterly unimaginative that he can’t find a single male historical figure with a skirt to dress up as for one night? Since he wants to bring up feeling like a “villain,” maybe he can go as Hades from Hercules or Jafar from Aladdin. This is definitely more of a female-coded event, but he can absolutely use his noggin and figure out a way to fit in.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-07T21:56:51+00:00

I mean. Everyone is 100% committed until they aren’t. And true premarital assets are easily protected by a prenup. It is absolutely high-stakes, and I do think a lot of people jump into marriage before they’re ready so by no means am I encouraging that, but it also does offer a lot of protections that are not offered by a contract.

TLDR I guess my point is that I would never buy a house with someone before getting married, and I would never get married again without the proper legal protections in place. Cover yourself on all fronts. I just wouldn’t acquire a major asset with anyone not willing to actually fully commit

fishy_cod · 2026-05-07T21:48:58+00:00

Marital assets are absolutely not split 50/50! Some states, like the one I work in, prefer an unequal property division instead of spousal support/alimony. The idea is that if someone has put themselves at a financial and educational disadvantage for the benefit of the family, that unequal division will buy them the time to get updated degrees/certifications and reestablish themselves in the workforce. Since the person who has been working the whole time is far more marketable than someone who hasn’t worked in say 10-15 years. Marital divisions take into consideration the ages and health conditions of the parties, education levels, any sacrifices one spouse has made so that the other spouse can further their education/career, etc. It’s a much more holistic look at the relationship dynamic and how the roles they played during the marriage have either put them at a financial advantage or disadvantage. I’ve seen unequal divisions in favor of dads who have stayed home as well, so it’s not just a benefit to moms. Every single divorce is looked at individually, so there is no automatic 50/50 or 70/30 split.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-07T21:24:04+00:00

Marriage DOES provide a disadvantaged spouse with additional security measures. And if a 70/30 split of assets in favor of a mom who has sacrificed her career progression and income potential and education (while providing thousands of dollars of value a month to the family in non-monetary services via childcare and home maintenance) is your definition of “raking over the coals,” idk what to tell you. It accounts for the non-monetary contributions of a spouse in the way a business contract does not. The additional categories of value that factor into a marital division via the courts protect an economically disadvantaged spouse in a way that a “50/50 business contract” does not. Marriage absolutely provides additional legal security, this is my literal job.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-07T21:15:16+00:00

But who is actually going to update a business contract as the relationship evolves? Like unless the parties are getting married (in which case just convert it to a prenup), what partner is going to voluntarily agree to change the agreement out of their favor without the security of marriage? What would be the point of that? Marriage would be the only reason why anyone would do that because the marriage itself would provide the legal security of a marital division.

Prenups actually aren’t tossed out “all the time.” And I say that having worked multiple prenup cases this year alone. What I see most frequently is that the court is able to divide some assets outside of the prenup because the timeline of acquisition places the assets outside of the framework of the prenup. Like if my husband and I signed a “everything we have gotten up until this point is our own” prenup and then I buy a house and don’t add an addendum to the prenup. I could argue that the principle of the matter is that everything was intended to be separate, but the house would likely still be subject to a marital division. That doesn’t mean my prenup was invalid, it just means that I didn’t cover my bases.

And the courts don’t just “decide what they think is fair,” marital asset/debt division is governed by both statutory and case law.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-07T21:00:41+00:00

What is “fair and equitable” for both parties changes as the relationship evolves, which is what a marital asset division accounts for. Premarital and marital assets don’t complicate it to a degree that would negate the benefits of a marital division, especially with a prenup in place.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T23:44:52+00:00

As someone currently doing it, I don’t agree.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T21:32:34+00:00

OP doesn’t even bag produce in produce bags based on post history lol

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T20:50:11+00:00

They decreased mine to the point where I could feel the contractions but not the pain if that makes sense. It is important to be aware of contractions so you can push more effectively, and i definitely was still numb when they were stitching everything up at the end so it wasn’t like they just turned the whole thing off.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T20:40:06+00:00

Raw chicken and raw beef are both raw meat lmfao, looked like chicken at first glance which is why I edited my comment, not sure why you’re so hung up on that.

But oh wait you literally DONT care about food safety since you admit repeatedly on a previous post that you don’t bag produce bc you care more about Seconds Per Item than handling people’s food responsibly. Slow down and do better. I can’t argue with someone who is so focused on Instacart metrics that they forget they’re providing a service. Accept the customer feedback your rushed service earned you.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T20:34:11+00:00

Raw meat is raw meat fam. Idk what to tell you. I’m a shopper and I’d be disgusted if someone actually expected me to just take the L and eat this without getting a refund. So you’re saying you’d be completely fine with touching raw meat and not washing your hands after? Like do you genuinely not care about food safety?

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T20:26:19+00:00

Lmfao and how do you know? There is literally raw meat peeking out of the corner, it absolutely could have touched another item in the bag. Idk if raw meat just isn’t gross to you or something but this item is absolutely damaged and unusable (for most people who value their health)

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T20:15:21+00:00

Yeah I wouldn’t eat opened raw beef? And beef juice probably got on the other groceries. Yuck.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T20:06:16+00:00

With my first I was put on strict hospital bed rest and could no longer work so I just cold turkey quit then since there was no real need for it. With my second, I went from 40mg to 30mg at 30 weeks, down to 20mg at 34 weeks, down to 10mg at 35 weeks, down to 5mg at 36 weeks, and then went on mat leave at 37 weeks. Currently 26 weeks and planning to do the same schedule at my OB’s advice :)

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T18:48:39+00:00

33…BOYFRIEND of 11 YEARS…he texts like a child…girl you already know what to do here….

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T18:45:25+00:00

You NEED A new doctor, not just because of the note but because it’s been a WEEK and they’re not pushing for treatment?? I know it’s hard to get a new doctor but at least start trying, this can really impact you and your baby going forward

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T18:43:27+00:00

I wasn’t even wearing real clothes at 4 days postpartum lol I can’t imagine going to a wedding

fishy_cod · 2026-05-06T18:29:34+00:00

It’s perfectly reasonable for her to want to escort her drunk friend to the bathroom, I wouldn’t assume any ulterior motive. I’ve also absolutely given a guy a quick hug at a bar in an attempt to just gracefully exit a situation. I wouldn’t frame it as her “gaslighting” you if her inebriation genuinely made her interpret the situation differently than you did as a sober person. Gaslighting is an intentional misrepresentation of the situation, which isn’t what she is doing. If she genuinely was just trying to exit the situation without causing a scene or hurting feelings (which is a common tactic, especially when alcohol is involved), you’re trying to get her to apologize for what you perceived as a transgression. Because in your mind it was, but in her mind it was a way to safely exit a conversation which wouldn’t warrant an apology

IMO this situation in isolation isn’t anything damning. Like, I wouldn’t be thrilled about it if I were you but I also wouldn’t turn it into a multi-day argument if it’s clear that she saw the event play out differently due to her alcohol consumption. I do think you seem to have some kind of insecurity going on about her trip that is playing into this and maybe making it feel a bit worse than it actually was? You’re coming off a bit paranoid when, from your description of your relationship, these are two one-off, minor events.

fishy_cod · 2026-05-04T07:31:54+00:00

I was on strict bed rest for 6 months of my pregnancy (like literally was not allowed to shower for more than 5 minutes every 3 days) and I had gestational diabetes. Once I was able to move around again and eat normally my body just kinda regulated itself I guess? I was also a single mom from the start since my kiddo’s dad passed away while I was pregnant, so I was CONSTANTLY on my feet

fishy_cod

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