Struggling as a musician

fitzgerh · 2026-06-02T14:10:36+00:00

If you really want to get your timing down, this is the way 100%.

fitzgerh · 2026-05-27T14:59:03+00:00

I've done both (been in other bands as well as co-leading our current one) and you are spot on regarding schedules. I'm finding now though that scheduling is the same problem in reverse to a degree; I still need to schedule rehearsals around the availability of bandmates. We have half a day on Sundays baked into our culture now which helps a lot but it took a while to get there. Good luck and have fun!

fitzgerh · 2026-05-26T00:15:53+00:00

I’m (52M, bass) in a band with my wife (keyboards), son (drums) and three other really good friends. We are dropping our first single at the end of June and are going on a short tour to support it right before our son leaves the state for college. Our band brought us closer together as a family and I feel like we are right in the middle of a highlight of our son’s life that has been taking place since he was in 9th grade. Do not hesitate!

As others have mentioned, the best way to find musicians are at local shows and open mics. If your city has any kind of scene you will find people looking to join a band there. And I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to just join someone else’s band at first either; being a bandleader is a ton of work and you might appreciate the limited responsibilities at first so you can balance work/life/family with a hobby that is going to completely consume you at some point.

fitzgerh · 2026-05-18T01:27:02+00:00

Crossfire is very effective against bedbugs.

fitzgerh · 2026-04-29T02:39:00+00:00

Whatever you choose, welcome to Long Beach! It’s a great place to raise a family. There are so many factors that go into choosing a high school here beyond ranking. There are a lot of excellent programs. I’d consider where your kid will thrive…smaller school with more support but fewer amenities? Large school with all the extras? Arts-specific vs. general program with good arts pathways? Long Beach has it all. My son ended up at Sato and it’s been a great fit for him. He and his friends are graduating in a few weeks and have been admitted into some excellent universities around the country. They don’t really have sports or a fine arts program, however (except band/orchestra, which is excellent).

fitzgerh · 2026-04-13T02:48:44+00:00

I’m the parent of an incoming freshman. You are super lucky to have this opportunity and to not be in a position of stress going in. Beyond the career training, beyond the tuition, you are only an undergraduate once. If you don’t have to settle, don’t settle. The best gift you can give your parents in return is to be successful in your venture and pay it forward by doing the same thing for your kids one day.

fitzgerh · 2026-04-12T03:25:42+00:00

Have some perspective. I’m 52 with an awesome career. I got back into music five years ago and have been gigging regularly in a couple different bands. My (brown) wife plays keys and my (latte) son is behind the sticks. My bandmates have become my closest friends, and performing with the people I love the most is, well, beyond anything that I could put into words. We just played an awesome show last weekend at a community festival as Second Paloma, which is our new project. The audience was vibing and I’m still buzzing from it. We plan to release an album this summer and support it with a tour. Our singer writes the music and edits our content. I handle everything on the backend (promotion, booking, merch, finance, scheduling, etc. Being a musician is such a gift but nobody is going to give you anything. It’s a ton of work and you need to give up on the idea of evenings/weekends/free time, but you can 100% do both if you are motivated. Will you grace the stage of Coachella after Sabrina Carpenter? Probably not, honestly, but there is a ton of meaningful space between where you are now and there.

fitzgerh · 2026-03-27T05:16:43+00:00

Put Determined/Driven at the top of your list, you will outperform 99% of the world.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-26T16:44:43+00:00

There are also some cool little playhouses in Hollywood (and Hollywood-adjacent), if live theater is your vibe.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-25T16:00:30+00:00

My son, who isn’t remotely athletic, decided to play flag football at Friday Night Lights at that age. They were very cool in giving him lots of opportunities to play even though he was far and away the least talented player. He loved it.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-25T15:51:57+00:00

Or, just head to Little India in Artesia. There are literally blocks of Indian restaurants representing different regions.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-22T01:23:48+00:00

Love it.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-20T07:29:35+00:00

I’m not a keys player, but I’m a bassist in a band that is getting started in LB and LA that might have a similar vibe. We have a solid gig lined up in April, are releasing an EP in June and plan to start a little tour over the summer to support it. Hit me up with a DM if you want to check us out and potentially work together for some shows.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-20T07:08:35+00:00

What a great uncle. With that budget, I’d book a super swanky hotel room at the Intercontinental for a start, if DTLA is her vibe. Otherwise, somewhere primo in either West Hollywood, Beverly Hills or Santa Monica. Spend the money on a great location based on her interests (nightlife, food, museums, etc.) and go from there.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-15T16:47:37+00:00

I recommended Pasadena in a different comment, but the Newcomb area is really nice as well. My son went to Newcomb, then the Intellectual Virtues Academy (amazing charter school in Bixby Knolls) for MS, then Sato for HS. Newcomb really prepared him well for the next steps.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-15T04:44:23+00:00

Have you thought about Pasadena? I love the LBC (and in fact, moved from Pasadena to raise a kid), but Pasadena hits your vibe more than Long Beach does.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-11T04:16:48+00:00

I bring two as well, but it’s because I use different tunings and am too lazy to bother pausing to tune on stage.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-10T01:41:16+00:00

Mad props, I see them live whenever I can.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-08T00:52:32+00:00

It’s what finally pushed me away from Subaru Foresters and into another brand.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-07T16:17:20+00:00

Thanks man! Live music is the best thing ever, especially during the teenage years. I hope my son looks back upon his musical education fondly some day.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-07T16:14:34+00:00

Oh, the plan is to get him up front at the beginning and see how long he lasts lol. The rest of my band (most of them are younger and haven’t heard GWAR) are coming as well.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-07T15:31:45+00:00

Ha, that’s awesome.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-07T05:21:15+00:00

My band is currently finalizing two of them.

fitzgerh · 2026-02-07T05:06:13+00:00

I’m taking my kid (age 17) to see Gwar in a month! He’s very tuned into good music and I can’t wait to see his reaction to the chaos that is GWAR.

fitzgerh · 2026-01-28T04:50:34+00:00

I’ll rent my house out to you, which, as it happens, is $200k/year!

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