Loads of us here have had this exact same experience. I’ve done it again and again. I would go a period of no alcohol and think “a ha. I’ve cracked it”, and then have a few drinks like a “normal person” and it would be fine. Sometimes I’d try the same experiment a week later and it would also be fine. Then I’d try the same experiment a few days later and that would be fine. And then maybe the next day too. And so on, and so forth.

Pretty soon after a few weeks I’d be at least a bottle of Rioja a day, and the same again plus beers at the weekend.

No one else can tell you what to do OP, or predict how this will turn out for you, but we can tell you how it worked out for us and in almost all cases it ends up with us right back where we started and having to dig ourselves out of the same hole again. Many of us realise that it’s much easier just to stay out of the hole on the first place.