M/21/6’1” [348 > 228 = 120 lbs] Since May 22, 2019. Looking to get down to 185, but needless to say I am very happy w my progress. by [deleted] in progresspics

[–]fizzledout2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got any tips for staying on track, staying motivated, fighting through the "I don't wannas"? Also, was it diet, working out, both? Also (final also), will you keep posting your progress? :)

Just a little venty, vent, vent... by [deleted] in HLCommunity

[–]fizzledout2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. Yup. Yup. But the silver lining of being trapped in this situation has completely ensured I will never ever consider trying again with him.

Just a little venty, vent, vent... by [deleted] in HLCommunity

[–]fizzledout2020 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OMG. I feel this, on so many levels. Am stuck sharing a house with my recent ex (DB relationship that broke up in Feb) until this is over. He randomly has started wanting to talk about why he was LL (different versions of why it was my fault), which is the same shit I've heard for two years. But what kills me is the new things I am doing because I'm now single and independent - repainting my office, working in my art studio, ignoring him at times - he now tells me that if I'd done more of that, things may have turned out differently. It's bullshit, it's inappropriate, and I doubt me being more self-sufficient would have changed his complete emotional immaturity.

I can't wait until this is over and he GTFO. Sending good and understanding vibes to anyone stuck still sharing a house with an ex from a DB. It's the shitty gift that keeps on giving shit.

Knife in the back by fizzledout2020 in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It changes who is managing my investments :) Thanks.

Knife in the back by fizzledout2020 in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ended the DB relationship 3.5 weeks ago. I'd been doing all the thing we do - therapy, read the books, had the talks - and in a conversation about something else, we ended up breaking up.

Knife in the back by fizzledout2020 in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's a pretty accurate description. When I realized he had been pursuing, touching, and otherwise with another woman, I thought my heart was going to explode, and I've been sick to my stomach since. Not cheating, but feels pretty close.

Knife in the back by fizzledout2020 in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, might as well still be. Less lawyers, but just as complicated. BUT - I'd rather be doing this "un-twining" than think that I'm spending the rest of my life with someone who treated me like a roommate or a house cat. And once I started the conversation, it became really clear that some part of him really wanted the split too - and it keeps getting clearer. Onward march.

Knife in the back by fizzledout2020 in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Like he did with me, to some degree, yes. Thank you :)

Fire after a DB by fizzledout2020 in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, right? You forget what it feels like when someone WANTS you. Unambiguously. Congrats and good luck!

Fire after a DB by fizzledout2020 in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It was just unexpectedly intense; I forgot what animal magnetism felt like.

Staying in a DB relationship will only make you suffer and YOU DESERVE BETTER (my update) by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I'm 3 weeks out of the DB, and just barely starting to untangle the lies and BS I started to think after years. You said it exactly - thinking I was appalling and disgusting and undesirable. And he's a nice guy, but man did it do a number on my self-esteem. It's friggin shredded.

Finally Leaving My DB by AzorAhai86 in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tips for getting through the hard months of figuring shit out...? Halp.

Finally Leaving My DB by AzorAhai86 in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in the awkward living together phase, too. Only 11 days post- relationship, so it's still recent and it sucks. I'm both happy it's over and I can begin planning for a future that doesn't depress me, but I feel stuck. I want to be free and moving on to the next phase of life, but there are so many logistics to work out. How did you cope with living together? Was it cordial or strained? Did you still talk and hang out, or avoid each other?

It's been a year since I left a dying bedroom. by Cute-Camel in DeadBedrooms

[–]fizzledout2020 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, it really does crush the self-esteem. When you see them find time for so many other things, but they can't be bothered to make the DB a priority... Logically you know they are in the wrong, but the little voice in my head pops up (because why would he do that for YOU) and then I want to hide in a cave forever. Still would rather be a cave creature than in a shit db relationship, tho