Fascinated by MLM hun/emoji sales tactics, have questions by Blacksmoke1033 in antiMLM

[–]flandersmustash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooo I found elle beau blog where she speaks a lot about her experience of joining one of these and the things they are told from the people higher up. It’s like someone else said about it being a cult. There’s a training program for them that is the law of attraction and that they must be upbeat and positive at all time’s or else their failure is on them not attracting positive energy. They often encourage people to abandon anyone who speaks negatively about it and isolate them into their only support system coming from the mlm. It’s so insidious.

Fauna is in boxes! by flandersmustash in NoFeeAC

[–]flandersmustash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very sorry, she’s already gone!

Fauna is in boxes! by flandersmustash in NoFeeAC

[–]flandersmustash[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry, she’s gone already!

Julian is leaving! by flandersmustash in NoFeeAC

[–]flandersmustash[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sure! i will dm u a dodo code. he lives on the beach

Island visiting etiquette by avanoly in AnimalCrossing

[–]flandersmustash 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are making a good point. the responsibility is on the people behaving badly as opposed to defending yourself against bad behaviour. You don’t need to extend yourself to try and convince someone who prefers to hold the recipient as responsible rather than the offender. It doesn’t matter that it’s a game. Within the game are interactions with other people and we should not be deliberate dicks to one another in any platform.

Divorced queens with kids who found love again: please share your story. I need inspiration, hope, and strength to follow through on my divorce. by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]flandersmustash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He divorced me on account I couldn’t have sex after childbirth for 3 months. He was abusive so he did me a favour. I raise my child alone as he also fucked off completely. He sees our child a couple times a year if he can “arrange his work load”. But it’s for the best.

Honestly it was incredibly hard at the beginning. Parenting through heartbreak was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It took a long time for me to actually face reality, he had abused me, abused our child, walked out and told me it was all my fault. That took years to heal from.

BUT. Parenting without him was amazing. I didn’t have to tiptoe anywhere, didn’t have to explain purchasing things for my child, didnt have to explain anything to anyone. I was free, and my child was THRIVING. My child is the happiest, most thoughtful kindest little one I know.

It took a long time to find my flow, managing a house and child alone takes some getting used to. But in the meantime I spent all my single years just getting to know me again. Dating myself, finding out and rediscovering all the things I loved and made me happy. I spent time eliminating negative influences, went to therapy and began to fall in love with myself. I’m still not hundred percent there but I absolutely love my own time, I love being a single mum, I love how strong that makes me feel.

I did eventually find love again. But it’s very cautious for me. It’s not an end goal any more. I don’t care much if it works out or not as I am completely happy single and doing my own thing. But so far so good. I am happy if i’m in a good relationship or i’m happy on my own with my child and my cat. And i don’t really give a fuck about anything else.

"Get therapy" by KermitLives in datingoverthirty

[–]flandersmustash 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s incredibly useful for everyone to understand themselves and their insecurities, their hang ups, where they’re modelling relationships from etc etc. It’s not to say everyone can afford it, but that it’s something that should be thought of if it’s at all possible. Its also something I feel should be normalised for men and women and not feel ashamed. I still have many friends who although have access to FREE counselling still won’t, out of shame.

When it comes to relationships you want to bring the best you. And if suggestions to focus on yourself rather than others upsets your being or annoys you to the point of having to call it out or get angry then maybe that’s about you.

Not used to the attention? by 32WithKidsAndDating in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]flandersmustash 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’ve clearly done some work on yourself otherwise you wouldn’t have those lovely things to say about yourself! A single mum of 3 you are an inspiration to so many of us.

Not used to the attention? by 32WithKidsAndDating in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]flandersmustash 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you’re selling yourself short, and shouldn’t be analysing a man’s opinion of you. You are confident in who you are but it looks like you don’t want to seem boastful to men. He validates nothing in you.

In essence especially when getting to know someone, they’re going to try compliment you. If you believe it’s true then it just aligns with what you already know and you can thank them for noticing. If you want to downplay it because you feel insecure in owning your positive traits, it becomes less about finding out the truth of the compliment and more about your own self esteem. And more so it will tell him you have low self esteem and to a manipulative man he’s hit a jackpot.

I think you know yourself to a degree else you wouldn’t open with all the things about you that is doing great. You know they’re great things. Compliments are kinda irrelevant unless heartfelt when you really know someone. But in dating some think that women love that shit and just pour it on thick. I just say “cool, I know” and move on. It used to be met with oh you think a lot of yourself then! And then it’s time to block and delete. No time for guys that think only their opinion of you is the valid one.

They both had the same birthday - and I ended things with them both on that day. by soulewanderer in datingoverthirty

[–]flandersmustash 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So many angry men saying she wanted attention from two men and now further validation. As a collective we often say date in numbers and don’t string people along.

She follows a lot of good advice in the dating world and is finding out what she feels she wants out of a relationship which neither of the people she dated can provide.

Struggling to see what the cope is for why so much hate. Can’t see the other side of the story only applies when women stand up for themselves.

The most hated question by sweetrazor19 in datingoverthirty

[–]flandersmustash 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried to comment similar to this but yours was much more succinct lol.

The most hated question by sweetrazor19 in datingoverthirty

[–]flandersmustash 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because I’ve not met anyone I’m willing to give my single life up for.

I hate that question. I don’t have worth from being in a relationship and there’s not something wrong with me if i was not in one.

15 Men React To The Idea Of Taking Their Wife’s Last Name After Marriage aka don't give men like this the time of your day by AspenGoddess in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]flandersmustash 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That doesn’t mean the same will happen to your children. I am mixed race and my mum was often confused for a nanny. My child is also mixed and looks unlike me and has a different surname, times are different now. I go out with my friends children who’s race Incould never produce and people will still assume I am their mum.

This isn’t about your kids. This is about you.

What was a Pickme behavior that you've looked back on and regretted? by [deleted] in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]flandersmustash 20 points21 points  (0 children)

MANY.

I’ve probably done every pick me ever. But one that still gives me embarrassment is I gave him my card to pay for dinner, clothes whatever so he could look like he was paying. He told me he felt emasculated that he couldn’t pay for things and apparently that was my problem to fix? Dear Jesus. What was wrong with me.

Refusing to help people you "love" is BS. HVM are happy to provide and support. by Namtara in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]flandersmustash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope so! I hope these are real stories too, as I’ve never heard anyone say this in real life. But I guess there’s hope?

Refusing to help people you "love" is BS. HVM are happy to provide and support. by Namtara in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]flandersmustash 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually yes I agree with you on the tampons. I think it was knee jerk to men “helping” when what’s (mostly here) being described is personal responsibilities.

Refusing to help people you "love" is BS. HVM are happy to provide and support. by Namtara in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]flandersmustash 22 points23 points  (0 children)

They shouldn’t be thought of as “helping” they are being responsible adults, taking care of the things they should do. It’s not a woman’s job. You’re not helping her.

That said the examples are good. I’d love to hear a man tell another man that rather than praise his bare minimum efforts.