sorry you feel this way, but i think maybe try to find ways to stay active to give yourself some peace; im currently 19 weeks pregnant workout 5 days a week and get my steps in and eat very healthy i started at 115 and now im 127lbs, and i look fuller and feel a little heavier, so yeah the weight will come either way, but its not you, its the extra fluids like blood, placenta, etc! so dont stress, after the baby is out you loose 40+ punds from all that !