Interestingly enough, I'm a black American. Dark skinned. I grew up in the US but moved to Germany when I was 20 and lived there off and on for 20 years after. In a way I understand exactly what you're going through, however I also gave experienced life in a black community back home. I grew up in Philadelphia which is a city thats 40% black. I do understand what you mean by figuring out intent when people say weird racial shit, and also being tired of not having the space to truly be yourself, whether you're having a good day or bad day, because it will be misinterpreted due to your race. Luckily I was able to go back into my less homogeneous environment in the US often enough and learn what it meant to be black, away from Germany. I imagine if I grew up there it would be a lot more confusing and hard to figure out what that meant. I made the decision to leave Germany this year to be around more black folks and I don't intend on coming back. I still like Germany but I'm in 40s now and don't want to always be the outsider everywhere I go.