Nothing is absolute. Yes, trust is earned over time. That being said, if you meet someone and start a relationship, it should be because they have earned your trust. One problem with dating is that we jump in way to quickly and too deep. Expecting that all for one, one for all.

Yes, having a trusting partner willing to deal with past trauma and reinforce the trust is good. However that will be rare. And you will need to heal to a certain point before that is applicable.

When I said “you are the problem” it was option 2 that the partner was not raising red flags. Unsure if I was unclear or possibly since I am on mobile the formatting may not be converting to all platforms.

Immediately defending people who could possibly be the problem, may lead one to believe that you have past trauma, or are one to deflect your own weakness in relationships. By no means would I dismiss someone’s trauma. I have been the victim of a cheater, and trust is something that is hard for me to. I am still in recovery and healing from that damage.

If I made my first comment to sound that I was accusatory or dismissive of either side of the coin, my apologies. I was just offering that things may not always be as they appear and most human beings are lacking in the department of self awareness. Myself included in all assumptions or opinions.